The Cries of Haruhi Suzumiya: Kamigoroshi
by Thnikkafan
Summary: In the small sleepy town of Hinamizawa, there have been a string of murders connected to the Watanagashi festival. This has piqued the interest of one Haruhi Suzumiya, who has decided to investigate. But, of course, things are more than they seem...
1. Chapter 1: Beginning of the End

**The Cries of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**Chapter One - Beginning of the End**

**----**

Notes from the author: This is my first fanfic. I've tried my best to not destroy the original character's characterizations, and I hope you all like it. Also, I do not own any of the characters in this story. No original characters here, folks. Also, one more addendum: Feel free to mentally replace any phrases with their Japanese equivalent if they are more memetically popular (for example, replacing "that's a lie!" with "USO DA!"). Let's dig in, shall we?

* * *

"Kyon... we're here"

Huh? Where's here, anyway?

"Hey! Wake up!"

I opened my eyes. Most of my field of view was filled with the smirking face of Suzumiya Haruhi.

"You could have woken me up easier, you know."

Better yet, you could have not woken me up at all. If this day would have started with me gazing into the smiling face of Asahina-san, why, I'd have even more energy than you!

"Just get up. And you were talking in your sleep. Perv."

I really hope Haruhi didn't hear too much of what I wouldn't want her to hear. Or what she really shouldn't hear...

Haruhi moved away to poke the sleeping Asahina-san, revealing the interior of a dingy bus. Seriously, did we have to ride to Hinamizawa on the crappiest bus in Japan?

Hinamizawa. Of course. Maybe I should explain.

Me, Haruhi, and the rest of the SOS Brigade are currently (I assume) in Hinamizawa Village. According to Haruhi, every year on the night of some festival (something to do with cotton, from what I can remember) there's a murder. Apparently, it happens every year and it's due again this year.

Seriously, don't enough weird things happen in our own town? If they aren't, everyone is slacking off.

"Kyon, we're investigators." said Haruhi, as she started to crawl up behind Asahina-san. "From what I've found, there's a supernatural cause to these events. Maybe it's the wrath of a god, or a townwide conspiracy, or maybe it's aliens disguising themselves as humans to collect flesh to power their crashed ship! Anyway, it's the SOS Brigade's modus operandi, and it's obligation to check things like this out."

Well, do we have to force the SOS Brigade into every city in Japan? Even ACROSS had less lofty goals than this girl!

"Besides, it's not like we're setting up a new division. It's way too far away. If we do set a new division up, it should stay in the city."

By this time, Haruhi had indecently roused Asahina-san from her nap. Koizumi was already up and starting to unload some duffel bags, and Nagato...

"..."

...was still reading. As usual. Come to think of it, she had the right idea.

I got up, banged my head on the roof of the bus, grabbed my bag, and got off.

Haruhi had made us take sleeping bags, rations, a first aid kit, blankets, and enough changes of clothes to last a week at the least. Did she plan on having us live here?

"Once everyone's up and off the bus, I'll explain. Now, get everything unpacked or you'll have to carry it all the way there!"

Hold on a second. We're not there?

I looked around. We were on the outskirts of a city. It looked pretty big. In fact, I think it's bigger than our home town! "Small village" my foot...

Suddenly remembering I needed to get more bags, I went back in and grabbed them. I took this time to get a nice, long look at the bus driver. It was a young man with black hair and a thin beard. Whoever it was, it definitely wasn't Arakawa.

After a few minutes of unloading and a few more of molesting, everyone and their bags were off the bus. The bus drove off.

"Okay, so this is Hinamizawa?" I said. "I honestly expected it to be smaller."

Haruhi frowned.

"Of course not, you idiot. This is O... Oko... whatever it's called. It's a couple miles away from Hinamizawa.

"So, how exactly will we get there?"

"What do you think? We're walking, dummy."

Walking? But didn't you say that it's miles from here? Isn't there, I dunno, a bus or anything there?

"I called around. There's not a bus station in the area."

Well, couldn't you find a ride? Isn't there anyone from the Organization that could drive us? I really don't want to walk all the way there...

"I tried to see if there were any relatives in the area," said Itsuki. "Apparently, there aren't. Quite a few of them haven't even heard of the town at all."

He smirked.

"Besides, we may be heading into something big. It would be best to go in incognito to avoid suspicion, wouldn't it?"

"Right you are!" said Haruhi, "500 points for Koizumi-kun! Now, let me see your bags."

He handed her his bags. Haruhi then dumped them onto my shoulders. The sudden burst of extra weight made me lose my balance and fall on my butt. I really hope Haruhi doesn't use me as a pack mule.

"Okay, let's head out. It's getting dark, anyway. To Hinamizawa!"

She started to march off. Alone. Koizumi was helping me up, Asahina-san was stumbling like a vase about to fall under the weight of her bags, and Nagato wasn't really moving.

"Guys, hurry up!" shouted Haruhi. "Huh? What's wrong, Yuki?"

Nagato was facing the woods and being perfectly still.

"Don't tell me you're chickening out. No brigade members can turn back until this mystery is solved or they don't go back at all!"

"Hinamizawa is that way."

Haruhi did an about-face. Nagato pointed into the forest. It was in a completely different direction than the road that Haruhi was taking.

"What? Through the forest?" asked Haruhi.

"Yes."

"Shouldn't we take a road?" asked Asahina-san, still teetering.

"Following major and minor roads would end up extending this trip by approximately 37.624518 percent."

Nagato, have you ever heard of something called a sigfig?

Haruhi shrugged.

"Well, okay. Anyway, it'd help us be more stealthy, and it's as the crow flies, too. Very well. To Hinamizawa!"

She marched into the woods, dragging Nagato behind her. Asahina-san had fallen over, and was having trouble standing up. She was like a delicate flower being crushed by the weight of a stone, unable to grow.

"Koizumi, you carry your own stuff."

I sat down his bags. He stopped.

"I don't know how Suzumiya-san will react, but okay."

I walked over to Asahina-san and helped her up.

"I'll carry that for you."

"But, um, isn't Suzumiya-san making you carry Koizumi's things too?"

"Don't worry about it."

I took the bag from her. It was actually pretty light. She looked concerned.

"Anything wrong?" I asked.

"Well, uh... I can't really say here. It's, well, you know, classified information."

Classified information. Probably something that Haruhi can't know, then.

I started walking forward, standing next to Asahina-san's fragile form. If she ended up falling down a ravine or scraping her leg, I'd carry her, no matter how far!

"Listen," she said, "you can hear the higurashi crying."

I could. Is it really that late?

For some reason, I got the strange foreboding that something or someone wanted me to turn back, like the cicadas themselves were crying it.

But that's stupid. Well, relatively stupid.

"Yo, Koizumi." I said.

"Yes?"

"Now that you mentioned it, why don't you have anyone from the organization driving us?"

"I was just wondering the same question. An unusually large number of my colleagues had business. Apparently, something unrelated to Suzumiya-san had come up.

Really now. Does that mean that everyone that could give us a ride was out of town?

"Basically. I wasn't given too many details, but apparently an unusual recursion-based effect had blockaded a colleague on an island. Arakawa and Ms. Mori were called into that, among others."

"Well, what about that bus?"

"I had nothing to do with that bus. The driver wasn't affiliated with the Organization."

"So it's legit?"

"I doubt it. He was probably a creation of Suzumiya-san, a metaphorical captain to the ferry that had brought us and Suzumiya-san here. I wouldn't be surprised if all traces of him disappear tomorrow."

"So, we're stuck here. Another closed circle?"

"In regards to us, yes. But this one is nowhere near as safe or controlled as the one on the island."

Okay, so basically, we can die. Got any plans?

"Be wary. Things and people may be more than they seem. I have the feeling that there's another power at work, one completely unrelated to Suzumiya-san."

* * *

"Get down! Off the road! Someone's coming!"

My bag was yanked sideways by Haruhi and I went tumbling into a ditch. Koizumi and Haruhi slid in after me.

"What the hell was that for?" I said.

"We're hiding, Kyon. We don't want to be seen," said Haruhi.

Well, of course not. That's why you've been having us dive out of the way every time a car passes!

"Well, it was dark that time. I had no idea there was that drop."

You've been having us turn, backtrack, wait, and loop around for the past three hours! This was supposed to be the short path! Let me guess, you force-fed that crow of yours a pint of sake before letting it fly, didn't you?

Nagato and Asahina-san followed down into the ditch. Haruhi grabbed my collar and pulled me flat onto the ground with her.

"Ow! That hurt! Sheesh, why are you so paranoid all of a sudden?"

"In case there's people following us, that's why!"

"Well, it's probably just the wind."

I regretted saying that immediately. It's never just the wind. And the guy who ends up saying that is always the first to go when the killing starts. Great.

I peered over the edge of a ditch to see who we were avoiding. Haruhi pulled me straight back down.

"Idiot! Do you want to be seen?"

"Look, it's just some young couple. Quit freaking out."

Besides, I honestly doubt that diving into a ditch is the most covert way to hide.

"How do you know that they're just a young couple? How do you know that they're not a pair of serial killers, or the boss of a secret society with her henchman, or-"

"Shut up! They'll hear you!"

"I think you might be a little too late for that," said a male voice.

We looked up.

Standing above us were the two silhouettes of the young couple. I looked around for a flashlight, found one, and clicked it on.

The guy was a somewhat muscular adult male with brown hair, glasses, a hat, and a camera. The young woman had platinum blonde hair, a green jacket, and a smile that reminded me way too much of Koizumi. And not in a good way.

The girl laughed. I swear to God, that is the most taunting, condescending, mysterious chuckle I have heard in my life. Seriously, are you Koizumi's cousin or something?

"And who might you two be?" asked Koizumi.

"A better question is," asked the woman, "who are you?"

"Well, I am Koizumi Itsuki, and these are my colleagues. The girl on my left is Asahina Mikuru-san,-"

"P-p-pleased to meet you."

"-the girl on my right is Nagato Yuki-san,-"

"..."

"and those two down there are Kyon and our leader, Suzumiya Haruhi-san."

"It's... it's very nice to meet you."

Haruhi and I stood up.

"You might want to be a little more careful where you dive." said the girl.

They looked past us. I shone my flashlight down where they were looking and... oh my god.

There was at least a forty foot sheer drop.

"Eeeep..." said Asahina-san, swooning like a Victorian actress.

"So, what are you kids doing out so late, anyway?"

Wait... how late is it? I know we've been wandering around for a few hours, but I haven't checked the clock.

"Eight forty-three." said Nagato.

Wow. Really? Haruhi, remind me to never ask you to drive once you get your license, okay? We'd end up in Hokkaido if you were at the helm.

"Well, I think we're lost. Do you know the way to Hinamizawa?" said Haruhi.

"Hinamizawa?" said the guy. "It's not that far. Just down the road. I think you'd be there of you made a right at that junkyard."

The woman look slightly confused.

"Where did you come from?"

"We're from out of town. We were dropped off at O... Oko..." said Haruhi, making the strangest, goofiest face of thinking I have ever seen.

"Okinomiya?"

"YES! That's what it is!"

There was a noticeable pause in the conversation.

"Isn't Okinomiya on the other side of Hinamizawa?"

...

...where's some crickets when you need them? I guess some higurashi will do.

"..." said Haruhi. And pretty much everyone else.

"Well, I guess I should have asked for directions, huh?" said Haruhi.

No, you shouldn't had had us make so many damn detours.

Haruhi shot me a look.

"Well," said Koizumi, "thanks for the help. I'd like to know your names so I could thank you."

The girl chuckled again.

"Oh, forgive our manners. I am Takano Miyo, and this is Tomitake Jirou-san. He's my... colleague."

"Colleague?" asked Haruhi, now obviously interested.

"No, no. Not like that." said Tomitake. "I'm a photographer. I'm in town for the Watanagashi festival. Takano-san is a nurse at the clinic."

Well, you two do seem a bit friendly...

Takano chuckled again.

"So, why are you five going to Hinamizawa?" she asked.

"Well, we're in town for the Watanagashi festival as well." said Koizumi.

"Yeah! We're investigating that string of murders that happen every year".

Subtle, Haruhi. Subtle.

Takano smiled fondly.

"Ah, yes. Oyashiro-sama's curse".

"Who's Oyashiro-sama?" I asked.

"He's Hinamizawa's local deity," said Tomitake. "There's a lot of legends about him. But, um..." He checked his watch. "It's getting a bit late. Me and Takano-san have places to be."

"Well, it was nice meeting you, Koizumi-kun. I have some notes on the murders that your colleague might want to look at. I'd like to know where you are staying so I can deliver them later."

"...staying?" stammered Haruhi.

Wait. Don't tell me that you sent us out to a village in the middle of nowhere, had us walk around these woods for three hours, and you have no idea where we're staying?

"Well, uh... no. We don't have any plans."

...I can't find anything to say. I'm totally out of snark. Haruhi has hit a new low.

There was a good minute of awkward silence. Then Takano laughed again. Goddamnit, enough with the laugh! You're making me feel extremely uncomfortable!

"Well, if you don't have anywhere to stay, you could probably stay at the clinic. I'm sure Irie-san wouldn't mind."

"Umm, I don't think having them stay at the clinic is the best of ideas." said Tomitake-san.

"Hmmm? Why not?"

"Well, it's just that, well..."

"It doesn't matter," I said, "we'll pass."

Now, you might be thinking: why pass up on this offer? Well, here's a few reasons.

Reason number one: We have supplies for camping. We have a lot of very heavy supplies for camping for weeks. Say what you want, but I've been carrying around this crap for three hours. I don't feel like wasting the effort.

Reason number two: I don't trust these guys. Haruhi's paranoia might just be rubbing off on me, but really. I've seen enough cheesy horror flicks to know that being accepted into a small town by a mysterious couple is akin to having sex or tempting fate, in that you die.

"Kyon!" shouted Haruhi, "we can't just pass up on this offer! You can't pass on hospitality! I won't allow it!"

Look, Haruhi. You're at the helm, so all bets are off in regards to cliches. Someone with a laugh like that probably isn't trustworthy. Whatever happened to "a pair of serial killers"?

"The clinic isn't a good place for a large group to stay, anyway," said Tomitake-san. "Plus, it's all the way on the other side of town."

"I suppose you're right, Jirou-san," said Takano. "Anyway, just contact me if you want the notes, then. Well, It was nice meeting you, Koizumi-kun."

"Likewise, Takano-san."

Tomitake-san and Takano-san walked off.

Haruhi was seething. I know that "like a teakettle about to boil" is somewhat of a cliche, but that's really how she looked.

"You idiot!"

Suddenly, Haruhi charged at me and rammed me with the full weight of one of the bags. She hit me square in the chest with it. Damn it, that hurt! What's in that, metal plates?

The force sent me over the edge of the cliff.

"Kyon!" shouted Asahina-san.

Normally, this would be the point where my life flashes before my eyes. Of course, that can't happen. If it doesn't flash before you when there's a psychotic alien bearing down upon you with a knife (which it didn't), it's not happening. Nevertheless, a mental image of Asahina-san in the maid outfit formed in my head Such an elegant picture of beauty and grace actually almost makes death worth it.

...And it was cut off by feeling someone grab my hand.

It was Nagato.

"...!"

She looked more concerned than I have ever seen her, ever. Anyone could easily pick the look up. It reminded me of the Nagato in the alternate universe more than anything else.

She pulled me up.

"Haruhi, what the hell?" I shouted.

"You just passed up free lodgings and food! What were you thinking?" shouted Haruhi.

"So, in other words, you wanted to stay with a strange, untrustworthy couple in a mysterious little town in which gruesome murders happen every year?"

"Well, not really when you put it that way, but yeah! It'd get us right in the action!"

Look, I don't care what you think. I don't feel like getting drugged in my sleep.

"So, you got a plan, wise guy?"

"Look, I'm sorry for turning them down. You don't have to kill me for it."

Plus, it's not like you have any plans, either.

Haruhi smirked.

"The junkyard."

Junkyard?

"There's a junkyard up ahead. That's what Takano-san said, right? We'll set up camp there."

To be honest, I don't think a junkyard is the best place to stay.

"Take it or leave it, Kyon. Unless you want to die of exposure."

"...fine. But Nagato's leading the way this time."

We all climbed out of the ditch.

"Okay then. Yuki-chan, lead the way!" shouted Haruhi.

Nagato just stood there.

"..."

Um, "leading the way", that implies moving, Nagato.

She started walking down the road. We all followed.

* * *

"So, it looks like we've arrived at the junkyard." said Haruhi.

"Well, obviously." I said. "It looks like a junkyard to me."

We were looking over what would probably be the epitome of a junkyard. It looked like the place one would shoot stock footage of if you needed a junkyard.

"You see anywhere we can sleep?" I said.

"Not really... okay! Everyone! Spread out! Make sure to stay in the area. Holler if you find anything that we can sleep on or sleep in. Whoever finds something first wins!"

We dispersed into relative parties: Haruhi and I in one party, Nagato and Asahina-san in another, and Koizumi searching solo.

"Haruhi, remind me later to never, _ever_ let you lead us. Ever."

"Why not?"

"We ended up walking around dark woods for three hours, completely missed the town, and I almost died. Twice. And the second time, you pushed me."

"But I'm the Brigade Leader! I have to lead!"

"Well, who cares? Ask someone like Nagato to lead, instead."

If Nagato lead us, to be perfectly honest, she'd walk us into a tree, but she'd be pointing us in the right direction.

"Stop whining about it. We're already there."

Now, you may be wondering about why we can't just plant out bags down and say good night. Well, one of the distinct traits of a junkyard is a walking surface compromised mainly of junk. Most of the junk is pointy, rough, or otherwise spaced out in such a way as to provide a rough surface. Therefore flat space is at a premium.

"Jackpot!" shouted Haruhi.

What? Did you find somewhere to stay? Please tell us that you just didn't see some "alien artifact" or any of that crap. It's late, and I'm tired.

She ran ahead over to an old bus, the kind that looked a bit like the kind made famous in the Americas by the hippie movement. I have to admit it. That'd be the perfect place to sleep in this junkyard.

"Guys! Guys! We found a spot!"

Nagato, Koizumi, and Asahina-san walked over. I noticed that they looked... I'm not really sure of the word. Nonplussed? Concerned? Uneased?

"Did you guys even look?" asked Haruhi. "I bet you were just talking. Slacking off is not allowed, but since it's late, I'll let it slide."

We all set our bags on top of the bus. Thankfully, it didn't bend or warp under the weight.

"I must say, Suzumiya-san," said Koizumi, "this is a fantastic find."

"Um... I don't really think we can all fit." said Asahina-san.

"You're right, Mikuru. Okay, we'll take turns, then. First off, let's see how we can get inside."

All the doors are covered in junk. Unless you plan on digging it out (which I will not help you with, just so you know), we're sleeping on the roof.

She started checking each of the windows of the bus. She eventually found one that was unlocked near the front end (I think it was. Buses aren't that asymmetrical.) and climbed inside.

"Kyon, you have to see this!"

I crawled inside. It was a tight fit, but not that unreasonable.

The bus was pretty much emptied out. There were a few knick-knacks placed here and there.

"Huh." I said, "looks like someone was living here."

"Probably."

Haruhi started to mentally calculate the dimensions of the bus.

"So, Kyon, it looks like there's not that much room. If we put our bags outside, we might be able to fit two people in here. What do you think?"

"Well, I'm not all that good with-"

Haruhi had completely stopped. All the color had drained from her face.

"What's wrong?"

Trembling, Haruhi lifted something from the corner of the bus.

No way! Why would there be something like that in a bus?

It was a cleaver. Well, it was sort of a cleaver. No cleaver I've ever seen had ever - or should ever - be hooked like that! Don't they have special names, like billhooks or something?

"Kyon... we shouldn't stay here."

"Well, first off, define here."

"Here. In this junkyard."

"Look. It's fine. I'm happy with where we found. If you want to find a place in the woods to sleep, knock yourself out. As for me. I'm sleeping in here. If you don't want to, I guess I'll just sleep with Asahina-san."

Haruhi switched from scared to flustered, and the color in her face returned with reinforcements upon hearing my trump card. It's not the best trump card I have, but it's one of the few I can safely use with Haruhi.

"I can't trust either of you from doing anything funny. The Brigade leader is a guaranteed resident here. I'll go get some sleeping bags and set up the sleeping arrangements."

Haruhi climbed out, giving me some time to inspect the billhook-cleaver thing - you know what? I'm just going to call it a billhook. Just for the sake of things.

I checked the blade for dried blood. It didn't look rusty in the least. It looked slightly worn, though. What would someone use a blade like that for, anyway? Cutting wood?

Haruhi climbed back through the window, carrying some sleeping bags.

"Us two, tonight. Oh, and there isn't any cell phone service out here. Koizumi checked."

She laid a sleeping bag down and got in rather abruptly.

"Good night."

She fell asleep nearly instantly.

I decided to get in and get some rest, too. It's not that bad. Pretty cozy in here.

So... we're intruding into a small town, presumably with a dark secret. We're investigating a string of murders, and I'm sleeping in a bus that's obviously not abandoned with a paranoid Haruhi and a hooked cleaver. I must say, I'm a bit-

"Kyon," whispered Haruhi.

"What?"

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"I think I heard footsteps."

"Who knows? Probably the owner of the place."

"Really!?"

"Nah. Just kidding. Probably Koizumi or something."

"Kyon! Don't do that! Freaking out or tricking the Brigade leader is punishable by life imprisonment!"

More silence.

"You didn't hear anything?" asked Haruhi.

"Nope."

"Okay then. Good night, Kyon."

"Good night."

What's going on here, anyway? Haruhi's been paranoid, Koizumi and Asahina are concerned about something, and now there's no cell phone service? Actually, that's justified. It's a rural town. Speaking of which-

"Kyon."

Could you quit bugging me? I'm trying to think.

"I think there's someone on the roof." said Haruhi.

"Well, duh. Isn't someone sleeping on the roof?"

"No."

"No?"

"No, they've found other spots to sleep."

"Isn't that a waste of time? I mean, there's room up top."

"No. They'd be too noisy. Could you just go look?"

"Fine."

I got out of my nice, warm, cozy sleeping bag, climbed out through a window into the cold outside, grabbed a flashlight, and looked around.

She was right. Nobody was on the roof. I climbed on top and decided to survey the spot.

The junkyard was actually pretty large, but you could see most of it from there. Koizumi had found a spot right at the foot of the bus, Asahina-san had found a spot farther away. Nagato had... where's Nagato?

I spotted her. She was still awake, standing on the highest hill of garbage, looking off into the distance. She was actually rather breathtaking in the moonlight.

I heard a slight bit of movement off in the distance. I shined my flashlight towards it.

It was a janitor. He was just... standing.

Eh. It's a junkyard. He's probably just throwing something away. No, wait, that's never it. I really shouldn't dismiss such small details.

"Kyon..." said Haruhi.

I re-entered the bus.

"Anything up top?"

"Nope."

"Good to know."

I re-entered my sleeping bag, closed my eyes, and tried to think.

So, there's this 'Oyashiro-sama' that apparently has a curse on the town. Which just so happens to be the murders the SOS Brigade is investigating. This place is weird. It's the archetypical cursed town. It's too cliche. But nevertheless-

"K-kyon..."

Haruhi sounded really scared.

"What?! There's nobody there! Stop freaking out!"

"Kyon... you might not want to open your eyes..."

Defying all logic, I did so.

Right in front of me - I'm talking less than an inch between our faces - was a girl.

"GAH!"

----

There was a girl.

She had short red hair, a white dress, and a rather nice hat. She had a curious look on her face.

She also was completely violating my personal space, and holding that billhook from earlier.

I tried moving. I couldn't, partially because I was too freaking scared and partially because she was right on my chest.

Huh. I am unable to move, staring at a girl with a very sharp weapon and a completely innocent look on her face. Deja vu, maybe?

"Who is this?" she asked.

Look, I'd give you a better answer if you weren't sitting on my chest. And could you put the damn billhook down?

"Who are these people. Rena would like to know..." she said.

If you'd get off me, we'd give you a straight answer. And how did you even get onto me without me noticing?

"Oh. I'm sorry."

She got up and sat down next to me.

"Could you set that down, please?" asked a terrified Haruhi.

The girl set the billhook down beside her.

"So, who are you two, and why are you in Rena's hiding place?"

"Who's Rena?" asked Haruhi.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Ryuugu Rena. It's actually nice to meet you."

"My name is Suzumiya Haruhi, and the boy you just sat on is Kyon."

"Kyon? That's an odd nickname"

She giggled. Yes, I'm aware of how stupid it is. Blame my sister. And do I have to be known as Kyon everywhere I go?

"So, what are you two doing here?" asked Rena. "Rena hasn't seen you or those other people around here before."

"We're in town for the festival." I said.

Me and Haruhi sat up.

"Yeah, we couldn't find anywhere to stay, so we decided to camp out here. You don't mind, do you?" said Haruhi.

"Not at all, not at all," said Rena. "Nobody really comes out here that much. I was just here to pick this up."

She stood up and picked up her billhook. I still want to know why you have such a pointy object that looks like it's only used for killing things.

"Oh, it's just for getting out stuff that's stuck. Nothing big."

"Well, it was nice meeting you, Rena-san." I said.

"Likewise... Kyon."

She giggled as she said my name. Haruhi shot her a look. Rena started to climb out the window.

"So, Rena." asked Haruhi.

"Yes?"

"Do you know anything about the murders?"

Rena stopped halfway out the window.

"Rena doesn't know what you are talking about."

Now, 'I don't know what you're talking about' is basically code for 'I know more than I'd like to tell you'.

"Well, it's just that we ran into a young couple on the way here. Tomitake-san and Takano-san." I said. "They said that there were murders for the past five years."

"Past four years." said Rena. "This year will be the fifth."

Rena backed up and decided to stand, making her look rather imposing.

"So, you're saying that you know what we're talking about?" asked Haruhi.

"Yes."

Rena seemed to be slowly but surely winding up. Haruhi, you might want to cool it. She's armed, you know.

"So there is such a thing as Oichihiro-sama?" asked Haruhi.

"Oyashiro-sama."

She was noticeably tensing up now.

"It's real. It's very real."

Wait. The curse is real or the murders are real. Or do you mean Oyashiro-sama is real?

"Yes."

Don't give me a mathematician's answer, damnit!

"It's all real."

Haruhi laughed.

"Don't be stupid. Gods don't go around cursing people."

No. They go around butting into people's lives and groping innocent girls. At least, the Greek ones do.

"Can you even prove that Oyashiro-sama exists?"

Wait, Haruhi. You've drawn signs all over your school quad to try to summon aliens (and succeeded, although you don't know that), boldly announced that you're looking to find aliens, time travelers, and espers, have created a club solely to find them that searches the town on a regular basis... and you don't believe in gods? Haruhi, that's called "arbitrary skepticism".

"I'll explain it later."

"Oyashiro-sama exists. That is a fact." said Rena.

"Can you prove it?" said Haruhi.

Could you stop poking the buttons of the girl with the cleaver? "If your enemy is of superior strength, evade him." Sun Tzu said that. And I think he knows a little more about fighting then you do, pal.

"No. I can't. Not here." said Rena.

"Then I don't believe you. For all I'm concerned, Oyashiro-sama is just a bunch of bull-"

"You'd know that she's real if you've had to go through what I've gone through!" snapped Rena.

She grabbed her billhook with both hands. Look, Haruhi, cool it. Didn't you notice that she, I don't know, is getting really pissed? And is standing in front of the only exit?

"Well, it was nice meeting you two!" said Rena.

She exited cheerfully, apparently blissfully ignorant to what she just said.

"She's an odd one." said Haruhi.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the queen of understatement and the maiden of hypocrisy, Suzumiya Haruhi! Give her a big hand, everyone!

"Haruhi." I said.

"Hmm?"

"May I ask why you were trying to piss off the girl holding the billhook, exactly?"

"Because, she was a cute girl with a sharp weapon! That's not something you see often! You gotta milk those moments for what they're worth!"

Thankfully, that's at least true for you. Besides, I think that, with you around, Nagato would be a bit more reluctant to act.

"And what's this about you not believing in gods?"

"Well, gods are boring! I mean, I like reading mythology, and it's cool, but that's what it is. Myths. And besides, when was the last time you've seen a god - not like a Norse god, but like the Christian one - in a movie or an anime?"

Well, actually, I've heard that there's that one movie...

"Okay, bad example. And besides, religion is just a bunch of crap used to get a lot of people brainwashed. It's just a bunch of druggies that people liked the sound of what they were saying, when you get down to it."

Haruhi, I know a lot of people who would be _extremely _pissed if they heard what you said.

"You know, Haruhi, I'd like to know your position on the murders."

"Isn't it obvious? It's a townwide conspiracy! And that girl is probably in on it."

"Makes sense."

Haruhi laid back down.

"We'll save it for tomorrow, anyway. Good night."

"Good night."

I laid back down as well.

So... Haruhi doesn't believe in gods. That makes sense. Does that mean that gods definitely don't exist? Some people would say that that's hypocritical. I'd have to ask Asahina-san about-

"Kyon?"

"Could you stop bugging me? I'm trying to sleep and I could care less about this point about anything you hear!"

"Do you know where the nearest bathroom is?"

* * *

"Wow, this place feels fantastic!" said Haruhi.

The SOS Brigade was walking along a path, away from the main road of the village. We were touring Hinamizawa to get a good layout of the place, and to see what was up. So far, the only main thing of note was the Furude shrine. Apparently, most of the town worships Oyashiro-sama, and they take it very seriously. It's also where the Watanagashi festival itself is held.

"I must agree, Suzumiya-san." said Koizumi. "The air here is definitely a lot cleaner than back home. Perhaps I'd move here after we all graduate."

"No way! All SOS Brigade members are required to stay with the Brigade for life!"

Actually, I think I personally would run as far as I could the moment I get my diploma.

"Besides, how do you know we're going to survive this, anyway?" said Haruhi

"Suzumiya-san... could you please not say things like that?" said Asahina-san.

She has a point. Please tell me you don't expect any of us to die.

"Well, I'm hoping nothing happens, but really. The odds are nearly 100 percent that Mikuru-chan or someone else will die a horrible and painful death. That's how it works."

Look, I like the idea of narrative causality, but if Asahina-san dies, I'm going to kill you. I don't care what would happen afterward.

We came upon a school. It looked small. I wouldn't be surprised if there was only one teacher.

"Awww." said Haruhi. "I can't believe they still have school."

'Still' my ass! We still have school, too. If you knew how many hoops we had to jump through because you had no idea how long we'd be staying here, you'd be a little more grateful. And you're going to have to buy another maid costume for Asahina-san, too. Although, I must admit, seeing the look on Taniguchi's face when he found out we were skipping class for at least two weeks was well worth the price of admission.

There was P.E. or something similar going on. I could see a boy and several girls in their gym clothes having a water balloon fight. It was obvious that the boy was losing. I couldn't help but feel slightly bad for him.

...and that's a lie. Sorry, but schadenfreude is kicking in. It actually feels pretty cathartic to see another guy on the receiving end of that sort of thing.

"Hey, isn't that that creepy girl we saw yesterday?" said Haruhi.

"What, you mean Rena?"

"Yeah."

She was right. Rena was definitely involved in the game. She looked... well, completely innocent. They all did. Compared to what I saw last night, with Rena nearly snapping, I could see the idyllic picture shattering. It'd probably make a good movie.

"That looks like so much fun! We should go in there and challenge them to a duel!" said Haruhi.

"Well, I'm going to pass." I said. "Let's just-"

"HEADS UP!"

A water balloon, errantly tossed, spiraled through the air towards us. Me, Haruhi, Koizumi, and Asahina-san all dived out of the way. Nagato didn't move. She caught it without expending any effort whatsoever and tossed it away.

Rena and her friends ran up. Besides Rena, there was a brown-haired guy, two green-haired girls (twins, by the looks of it), and two small children.

"Sorry about that!" said one of the green haired girls. She had her hair up in a ponytail.

"Were you aiming for us?" asked Haruhi.

"No." said the green-haired girl. "I just have really bad aim, that's all."

Haruhi gave her a look.

"Oh, hello, Suzumiya-san." said Rena.

"You two know each other?" asked one of the children, a purple-haired girl.

"Not really." I said. "We just ran into each her yesterday."

"They're staying out in the junkyard." said Rena.

"You're sleeping in a junkyard?" asked the boy.

Look, don't ask. We didn't have any other options. Well, no other safe options. Come to think of it, it's not all that- you know what? Forget it. Besides, it's pretty cozy.

"So, Rena." asked Haruhi, "are these your friends?"

"Yep. This is Maebara Keiichi."

"It's nice to meet you." said the boy.

"And those two are Sonozaki Shion and Sonozaki Mion."

"Did you come into town for the festival?" asked one of the twins. For the sake of description, I'll mention here that the other twin was only distinct by having her hair down. You know, it'd be easier on the narrator if you just told me which one of you was Shion and which one was Mion.

"The one with the ponytail is Mion. The other one is Shion." said the blonde-haired girl.

"I've always wanted to ask a question to identical twins like you." said Haruhi.

"Ask away." said Shion.

"Do you ever disguise yourselves as each other?"

"Oh, all the time." said Mion. "It's really quite fun."

"Well, anyway," said Rena, "this is Satoko."

She pointed at the blonde girl.

"Nice to meet you."

"And the other girl is Furude Rika-san." said Rena.

"Oh, do your parents manage the town shrine?" said Asahina-san.

"Well, not... quite. See, her parents died, so she runs the Furude household and the shrine. She's the shrine maiden there, too, and she also plays a major role in the Watanagashi festival. She basically runs the place." said Mion.

Rika looked out of it. She was just sort of staring at us like we were Pizarro.

"I haven't seen these people before..."

"Well, we just arrived into town." said Asahina-san.

"Are you one of those towns that will run us out with torches and pitchforks if we dig too deep into your town's mysteries?" asked Haruhi.

"Yes." said Mion.

She gave us a completely serious look. Well, that certainly reaffirms all of my thoughts in regards to the town.

"I'm joking! I'm joking. To an extent..."

"So, who are you guys?" asked Keiichi.

Haruhi stepped forward.

"My name is Suzumiya Haruhi, and standing before you is the SOS Brigade!"

The other group gave us odd looks.

"Don't ask." I said. "I'm still not sure why she picked it."

"Anyway," said Haruhi, "we would like to challenge you to a water balloon duel!"

"Shouldn't you introduce the rest of us first?" said Koizumi.

"You have a point. Anyway, from left to right, that's Kyon, Nagato Yuki, Asahina Mikuru, and Koizumi Itsuki."

"Nice to meet you." said Asahina-san.

"..." said Nagato.

"A duel sounds fun." said Keiichi. "Alright. We accept your offer."

"There's a small problem, Keiichi, sir." said Rika. "We're nearly out of water balloons."

"Alright, we'll use squirt guns then."

"That won't work either, sir. All we have is six squirt guns."

"Not a problem." said Haruhi. "Just scatter them around. Whoever finds the weapons uses them."

Haruhi, this is a squirt gun fight, not a first-person shooter.

"I don't know. That sounds like it take a lot of extra effort." said Rena.

"Well, you could always spare us the effort and forfeit ahead of time."

"Hah! Why would we?" said Keiichi.

"Suzumiya-san has a point." said Koizumi. "You're going up against the SOS Brigade, and unfortunately, the SOS Brigade losing isn't an option."

The blonde girl (Satoko, right?) laughed. My god. That is the most taunting, malicious laugh I have heard. _Ever_. Kefka, eat your heart out.

"Is that so? Well, nothing can stand up against the Games Club and our friendship!"

"There is no bond stronger than the one between the members of the SOS Brigade!" said Haruhi.

Yeah, yeah. Pierce the heavens, kick reason to the curb, yadda yadda yadda. Look, can we just get on with it already?

"Okay." said Haruhi. "First off, we need balanced teams. One of you guys has to sit out."

"Okay."

The other group formed a circle. By the sounds of it, they were deciding through Rock, Paper, Scissors.

"Okay, Satoko, it looks like you're out."

"Awwww..."

"So, what are the rules?" said Keiichi.

"Okay! There's one rule!" said Haruhi. "Well, more like two. First, for the sake of fairness, there's a thirty second delay before anyone attacks anyone. Second, whatever team stays dry the longest wins!"

The other group traded devious glances. I could swear I heard a "Hehehehe..." in there as well. Are you sure you're not forgetting any rules?

"It's a lot funner when there's no rules to bog you down!" said Haruhi.

"Your rules are fair and just, Suzumiya-san." said Keiichi.

100 percent certain there's nothing you're missing? Although I can't personally think of any game-breaking caveats.

Satoko handed him a water balloon.

"When this water balloon hits the ground, the game starts."

"Fair enough." said Haruhi. "Just don't aim for us, okay?"

Keiichi tossed the water balloon a good distance away. It exploded.

The game, as they say, is afoot.

----

The other group, the "Games Club", immediately ran off and went inside the school. It then dawned on me just where Haruhi's rules didn't quite cover. Judging by the look on her face, she noticed it too.

"The guns!"

"Well, go get 'em! We don't have much time!" she said. "We'll think of something!"

I decided not to question the situation (as completely unfair as it may be) and simply run after them.

...seven, eight...

I entered the school. It was small, but not actually that bad. Pretty good quality overall But I don't have time for descriptions.

I caught a glimpse of Rika entering a door.

...thirteen, fourteen...

With fifteen seconds left on the clock, I entered the classroom.

"Freeze! Don't move or we'll shoot!"

There were several guns pointing straight at me. They had all set up in the classroom with the squirt guns. I hate ambushes.

"That's not fair! You can't have ALL the guns!" I said.

Wait a second. Six guns for five people. That means that there should be- no, wait. Mion's dual-wielding water pistols. Goddamnit, isn't everything supposed to be in our favor?

"All's fair in love and war!" said Mion.

The group had surrounded me with evil grins on their faces. Keiichi was blocking the exit. Wait, did she just say she had a crush on me?

"Are those even loaded?"

"Huh?!"

There's my window of opportunity. With eight seconds left, I turned towards the door, wrestled the squirt gun out of Keiichi's hands, plowed through him, and out the door.

...twenty-nine... thirty!

I turned around on my heels and fired.

The gun fired a tiny, pathetic dribble of water. Figures.

I, on the other hand, was throuroughly drenched by a flurry of blasts.

"One down, four to go!" said Keiichi.

"I still say that's complete bull-"

"Uh uh uh!" said Shion. "There are children around, you know."

Rika smiled a smile that vaguely suggested that she could care less about my language but was going along with it anyway.

"Nipaa~"

Aww. That was so cute it makes my teeth hurt. I think there's something up with this girl.

"Okay, you have to sit out now." said Rena.

Fine. But it's still not fair in the slightest that you have all the guns. Wait, I still have one. Even though I'm out, I can give it to Nagato! I'm sure she can get gunslinging skills that would make Spike Speigel look like Vincent Vega!

"Oh, and hand over your gun, too."

Never mind. I swear, can these guys hear my thoughts or something?

I begrudgingly handed my gun to Mion, who gave it to Keiichi.

"Did you guys know that my gun wasn't loaded?" asked Keiichi.

"Of course we did!" said Mion. That's why we gave it to you."

Keiichi looked comically annoyed.

Keiichi exited the building, and promptly got nailed by a torrent of water. The other members of his group burst into laughter, flustering him again.

The rest of us exited the building to see who got him.

It was Koizumi, standing on the roof with an empty bucket in his hand.

"No fair! I thought it was a squirt gun fight!" said Keiichi.

Hey, you guys took all the guns and then ambushed me. You're in no position to complain.

"Suzumiya-san's rules only stated that you had to get wet. And the rules never said that this was against the rules."

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you thought there were rules in the first place.

So... it's now split four to four. That seems even enough.

Mion lined up a shot and fired at Koizumi.

"Got him!"

Well, scratch that. Three to four.

Koizumi made his way down to ground level as the "Games Club" spread out.

"Well, it looks like this isn't going too well. It's odd that they can be taking us down with this much efficiency. Thankfully, I'm sure that Suzumiya-san has more than victory on her plate at the moment. There's still the mystery of Hinamizawa to crack, after all."

"So, losing is an option?" I said.

"If it turns out that way."

Well, that's rather reassuring.

I then heard a most horrifying sound, one that chilled my bones and made my heart skip a few beats. It was a cry of despair that shook the very foundation of my soul.

"Aieee! I'm hit!"

I ran over to see a sad, sad sight.

Asahina-san's beautiful figure was thoroughly and utterly drenched. She was wearing an expression of despair and embarrassment. Her blue shirt and her white skirt were fully saturated, clinging to her beautiful Lolita figure. The water had removed the shirt's ability to preserve her modesty, revealing a white, lacy bra. And even that was faltering...

Asahina-san tried to cover herself from the views of the outside world. To my relief and slight consternation, she somewhat succeeded.

"They got me..."

"I'm surprised you could end up getting so drenched with just squirt guns." I said.

"Well, it wasn't all just squirt guns. Suzumiya-san had found some water balloons earlier. She made me try to hide them. But I guess they were a bit old..."

She pulled a scrap of latex out of her bra. Wait, if Haruhi decided to hide the water balloons there...

...how the hell does that even work? Can they fit?

"I tried throwing one of them at that Rena girl, but she caught it and threw it back."

So... that makes it four to two now. Crap.

I decided to watch the action.

I walked over to see what Nagato was doing. At this point, she was cornered by Mion in a corner.

"Well, do you have any last words?" said Mion.

"..."

Mion fired...

...and the shot didn't hit her. It was like it disappeared in mid-air.

"Huh?"

Mion fired a few shots at the wall to check to see if her guns still worked. They did. She fired several more shots at Nagato. She was still completely dry.

"Why can't I hit you?"

"Not my fault."

"But why? The gun works!"

"The shots appear to be evaporating in mid-air".

"How is that even possible?!"

"It is a hot day."

"...what the hell does that have to do-"

Mion was cut off by a fierce blast of water.

It looked like Haruhi had managed to find a hose. Well, now we might actually have a chance.

"That's even less fair!" complained Mion.

"All's fair in love and war!" said Haruhi.

Haruhi started to drench the entire area. Shion and Rena had dove behind a wall. Rika was... where did Rika go?

"I'm sure she thought of something." said Mion. She shot me a grin.

One thing about these guys that I noticed is that they are really tightly knit. Heck, they probably have better teamwork than even the SOS Brigade.

Haruhi's hose suddenly slowly stopped shooting water.

"Huh."

Then, apparently not learning from any comedic media whatsoever, Haruhi did the one most stupid thing you could possibly do with a hose that had stopped running - look directly into it. Unsurprisingly, she was nailed by a torrent of water. And _that_, my friends, is why we are losing.

I looked over to see Rika manning the faucets.

"Nipaa~"

"That's not fair..." grumbled Haruhi.

Haruhi's breathing was noticeably tensing up. Koizumi, now I think is the time to question your judgement on Haruhi's temper.

Current Status: Nagato Yuki versus Sonozaki Shion, Ryuugu Rena, and Furude Rika.

"That makes it just about even, then." said Koizumi.

The three of them had surrounded Nagato with their squirt guns. Nagato was unarmed.

Rena fired her squirt gun. Nagato dodged it. Well, "dodged" might not be right. Accompanied by a "ptth" sound, Nagato had moved so fast that it looked like she was simply not where the shot was hitting. I'm pretty sure that was called "flash-stepping" or something like that.

Shion fired. Nagato dodged.

Rika fired. Nagato dodged.

Rena fired again. Nagato dodged.

This went on for quite some time. Keiichi and Mion looked awed.

"Go Yuki-chan! Up, down! Up, down! Left, right! Left, right! You can do it!"

Haruhi, on the other hand, was ecstatically cheering Nagato on. She still seemed tense, though.

Suddenly, something happened that, in retrospect, would change the entire course of the trip and probably all of our lives. No, really.

Shion fired another shot. Yuki dodged-

-and then dropped out of sight with a clang and a splash.

Haruhi's excitement and vigor turned instantly into a shocked, glazed over look.

Satoko laughed that goddamn mocking laugh of hers.

"Oh, it looks like she ran into one of my traps. How unfortunate." She said it in a way that only people like Taniguchi or maybe Nagato could not notice the sarcasm.

"Traps?" said Asahina-san. But aren't you-"

"No, no. They were for the game before this one."

She had a catlike smile that didn't exactly scream "honesty".

Yuki climbed out of a pit, soaking wet.

Something clicked within Haruhi. No, that's not right. I'm pretty sure 'snapped' is way better suited to describe it. Or maybe something awakened? No, that sounds stupid. I'm pretty sure if I described what is happening as "a demon awakening inside her", I'd be heckled off the stage.

"That was total bullshit!"

Haruhi picked up a squirt gun and tossed it straight at Satoko's head. There must have been quite a bit of force behind it, because it made a very loud sound and knocked Satoko over.

"Ow..."

"That's cheating! You just had to break the one rule I set, didn't you!"

Technically, that wasn't really a- wait, Haruhi, what are you doing?

I watched with horror as Satoko tried to feebly crawl/stumble away from Haruhi, only to be yanked upward by her shirt. I think she might be bleeding.

"Now, apologize!"

"I... I'm..."

Haruhi smacked her.

"Apologize!"

She WAS apologizing! Let her go! This is insane!

I tried to see if I could stop Haruhi from killing the poor girl. I tried to pull Haruhi off, but the instant I got close to Haruhi, she backhanded me. I was knocked straight backwards and I would have probably gone farther if Koizumi and Asahina-san didn't catch me. Damn, she's strong.

Haruhi looked straight at me. It was a frightening sight. I had never seen such rage on anything short of a wolverine, and her eyes... what's up with her eyes?

"I think I'd advise against taking any action." said Koizumi.

Look, I could care less about the fate of the universe or-

"Not for that reason." said Koizumi, giving me a surprisingly stern look. "But for the fact that she'd probably rip our head off if we tried."

You noticed.

Haruhi smacked Satoko again.

"Apologize!"

"I... I'm sorry..."

"Louder! Nobody can hear you if you're that quiet, you brat!"

I'm surprised that Satoko hasn't started crying yet.

Haruhi smacked her again. No, wait. Spoke too soon.

"I'm... I..."

"Speak up!"

"I... nii-nii..."

"What was that?"

"Nii-nii..."

Oh, god. You've gotten her crying out for her brother now. Seriously, stop!

"Suzumiya-san!" said Asahina-san, "Stop it! You're hurting her!"

"Shut up, Mikuru! I know what I'm doing."

No. You have no idea what you're doing.

Haruhi tossed Satoko down onto the ground and started kicking her in the side. At this point, Satoko was wailing.

"Nii-nii! Nii-nii!"

She looked at Keiichi for a second before being kicked again. Keiichi looked like he wasn't quite sure what to do.

Rena was about to try to intervene, but Rika just grabbed the hem of her skirt and shook her head.

Haruhi had moved to kicking her in the face. That looks really painful.

"Nii-nii! Nii-nii! Nii-nii... where are-"

Haruhi stomped on her head. I winced. Asahina-san looked away.

"Oh, 'nii-nii, 'nii-nii'! Shut up! Nobody cares about you."

Now that's just petty, Haruhi. She's like a schoolyard bully. Actually, I think she is a schoolyard bully by technicality right now. I can't watch this...

"You're nii-nii isn't here to help you. Who is you're nii-nii, anyway? Let me guess. He's probably some fat, lazy moron who's too self-obsessed to help you-"

**"THAT'S A LIE!"**

I heard a loud electrical zap. What just happened?

I looked up to see Haruhi falling to her knees, and then the rest of the way down. It looks like she had had a taser driven directly into the back of her neck (which probably would have hurt like hell), courtesy of Shion.

This demands repeating: Haruhi just got tased.

There was an awkward pause. It couldn't not be awkward. I mean, one member of a group just got tased because she beat up a member of the other group for no real reason.

Shion was seething. She actually looked a bit similar to how Haruhi did while she was beating up Satoko.

"Satoko!" said Keiichi.

He slowly helped lift her to her feet. Satoko's face was bloody and marred with dirt.

"Are you okay?"

"Don't... don't worry about it." said Satoko. She smiled weakly. "I've had worse..."

Worse?

Keiichi and Shion helped carry Satoko into the school, presumably for medical attention.

This left Mion, Rena, and Rika, the rest of the SOS Brigade, and Haruhi's unconscious body.

"We're completely sorry about that." said Asahina-san. "I hope we didn't make too bad of an impression."

"Just so you know," I said, " she's normally a really nice girl, she's never acted like that before, and we're nothing like that at all. Honest."

"Oh, don't worry too much, sir." said Rika. "It's not the first time that Satoko-chan has been beaten up, and I'm sure it won't be the last."

She glanced at Mion.

"So... I'm assuming we forfeit due to our leader being incapacitated?" said Koizumi.

Mion and Rena just sort of shrugged.

"I think we need to go help out Satoko." said Rena.

"I think you're right." said Mion.

The two walked back inside, followed by Rika.

There was an awkward pause.

"Should we head back to camp?" I said.

"I think that sounds best." said Koizumi.

Me and Koizumi picked up Haruhi, and braced her on our shoulders. We started the long trek back to camp.

I'm pretty sure I don't like this place. We've ran into two girls with weapons, nobody seems trustworthy, and to top it off, Haruhi's acting like a psychopath. Although, compared to what she'd be acting like in a few days, it's practically the pinnacle of sanity. You think this stuff is bad? Wait until people start dying. Then the story _really_ picks up.


	2. Chapter 2: Lost Child

**The Cries of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**Chapter 2 - Lost Child**

Hinamizawa Village. End of the road. The last step on the descent into hell.

Yes, I don't like this town, why do you ask?

Whatever this town is, it's bad news. It has a 'curse' upon it, it's full of psychotic girls, and to top it off, Haruhi's become a train wreck. And train wrecks tend to leave a lot of bodies around. If she's going to be the psychotic killer, and not, say, Rena, well...

* * *

"Well, now would be as good of a time as any to explain." I said.

"Explain what?" said Koizumi.

"Just what the heck is going on in this town."

I probably should give some exposition. Me and Koizumi are dragging (actually, as cathartic as dragging Haruhi along the ground face-first sounds, it's more like we were hauling her) Haruhi's unconscious body back to our impromptu campsite. She is unconscious because she ended up getting tased because she beat the crap out of a young girl. Seriously. But really, I've been narrating for a while now. Read the earlier chapters of this venture. It's worth it.

"I was wondering when you would end up asking about it. Where do you want to start?"

"Well, just what is this place?"

"Abnormal." said Nagato.

"That seems to be the case." said Koizumi. "I've been taking a few readings of various things."

Readings? Of what? I don't need any crackpot "science" on top of the usual stuff. If you're checking for orgone, I'm going to punch you.

"We're not getting that far into science fiction. Basically, I have a device in my bag that lets me read data patterns and analyze areas where reality is distorted. It took quite a bit of convincing to get one for field research."

"Well? What about these data patterns?"

"I took the first measurement this morning. At that time, the data readings revealed a pattern of splotches at locations that I assume are in town. They ranked about a green, maybe a yellow on the spectrum."

That makes sense.

"None of those spots were the junkyard."

That... makes less sense. Does Haruhi count as background noise or something?

"No. The junkyard only ranked a dark blue, and I assume that's because of myself and Nagato-san. Normally, Suzumiya-san ranks at about a red. I'm not sure if that means she's depowered, but it's definitely troubling."

Well, naturally, I assume there's things that you can't do, and making sure that Haruhi is completely depowered is one of them. Nagato on the other hand-

"No." said Nagato.

No what?

"This space is limiting my effectiveness. Powers are only functioning at less than one percent of maximum potential usage."

So, you're depowered, too?

"I still possess very basic data and variable manipulation. All functions and actions requiring verification from the Integrated Data Thought Entity are impossible."

"That brings me to another point." said Koizumi. "All of our methods of communications with our contacts are cut off."

Well, just use a pay phone or something. I mean, it won't get you talking with Asahina-san's boss, but you can at least call _someone._

"I already tried that. It didn't work. Plus, we have more reliable methods - satellite phones, pagers, direct linkage, etc.- that don't work as well. This is also quite troubling."

Come to think of it, Asahina-san, how _do_ you contact your boss?

"That's classified." said Asahina-san.

Of course it is.

"But, uh, it doesn't work here either."

We stopped.

"There's one last issue." said Koizumi.

Let me guess. It involves Haruhi nearly killing an innocent little girl?

"It does. I have never seen Suzumiya-san react, or act, like that before. Melancholy, boredom, elation, and annoyance, yes, but never rage like... well, like what you have witnessed. I doubt that anyone short of your murderer would provoke a response like that."

I assume an innocent child doesn't count?

"Not at all. The after-effects are even more concerning."

Let me guess. That girl is dead?

"Not that I know of."

Then is it more of that 'closed space'?

"No. That's why it concerns me. Suzumiya-san's rage is something that me and a few of my colleagues have thought about. The general consensus is that an outburst like that would have dangerous effects on the universe."

Like what? Although I doubt that I'd like to hear the answer.

"Well, one of them thought it would summon an asteroid, while another thought it could crack the Earth in two. The theory I personally subscribe to is that it would instantly envelop the universe in closed space. But, no closed space has been reported or detected. Much smaller events than that have caused closed space to form. It's unusual."

"We are not alone." said Nagato.

I looked around. I didn't see anyone else. How can four words take us from relative serenity to intense paranoia so easily?

Nagato pointed at a rather large tree. I half-expected it to explode into wood chips.

"Behind there."

I cautiously edged my way toward the tree. I'd feel a lot better if I had a large stick or a baseball bat or a crowbar or something. I have a feeling that some Yakuza thug or maybe that Shion girl is waiting there to attack me.

I looked around the tree. There was that purple-haired girl from earlier. Well, that's... a relative relief.

"Hello." I said. "You're Rika, right?"

"Yes, sir."

"Have you been eavesdropping on us?"

"For a little while, sir."

"What did you hear?"

"Just a lot of weird sci-fi stuff, sir. It didn't make sense."

"Well, okay. As long as it didn't make sense."

"Why are you eavesdropping on us?" said Asahina-san.

"Because... I want to know more about you and your group, sir. You're... well..."

"Well what?"

"Well, you're new."

So, is stalking all visitors to this town a normal thing that you do?

"Well, no. It's just that we always get the same visitors."

"Nobody else comes to this town? Not even for the festival?" asked Asahina-san.

"No, it's just that... it's different than that. You wouldn't understand."

She looked over at Haruhi.

"Oh, don't worry about her, Furude-san." said Koizumi. "She'll probably be fine. That reminds me. How is your friend coping?"

"She's doing fine, sir. She's seen things that are much, much worse, and she'll probably go through even worse than that later on."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's a long story..."

"I'm willing to hear it." I said.

"Well... about five years ago, there were plans to create a dam upriver from here."

Oh god. Her voice had changed. She didn't sound like an innocent little girl anymore. She sounded... well, she sounded really creepy. Creepy and cold. Do we really need a creepy young shrine maiden to add to this tale? Nevertheless, I'll listen to what she has to say.

"The dam would have put Hinamizawa and several other villages completely under water."

You could hear the wind rustle through the trees. It also felt like the temperature had dropped a few degrees. Okay, this is a bit much. All it needs is some creepy piano piece to back it up, and this would either lose all credibility or haunt my nightmares.

"Naturally, the people of the town fought back. The three great households, led by the Sonozaki family, managed to successfully repeal the dam's efforts. However, not all families wanted the dam gone."

"Let me guess." I said. "Satoko's family?"

"The Hojos, yes. The entire town turned upon them. To this day, they are outcasts."

"The entire village? You mean, everyone in this entire town?"

"Yes. It gets worse from there. See... people say they were "cursed" by Oyashiro-sama."

"Well, was she?"

"I don't feel like telling you that right now. Have you heard of Oyashiro-sama's curse?"

We nodded.

"Well, on the first year of the Watanagashi festival after the dam incident, Satoko's parents were killed. A guardrail broke, and they fell into the sea. After that, Satoko and her brother, Satoshi, had to live with her aunt and uncle. They were... not nice people. They abused her and her brother."

"I assume her and Satoshi were close?"

"He was probably the only reason she's survived."

That explains why she was crying out for him.

"But... just last year, Satoshi 'transferred.' He vanished without a trace."

"My god... how can someone live through all that?" said Asahina-san.

"Oh, she's doing a lot better now. The aunt disappeared around the same time Satoshi did, and the uncle left town shortly after. I help her survive from day to day."

Her voice was back to normal. Well... that was rather disturbing.

"Nipaa~"

You're not helping.

"Who is that?"

Nagato pointed at a point directly beside Rika.

It was completely empty.

Rika looked at the spot. Then, surprisingly, she did a massive double take and stared at Nagato. She looked utterly awed.

"You... you can... but... nobody could..."

Yuki lowered her hand.

"How... that was... you could see..."

She mouthed a word.

Hanyuu.

At least, I think it was "Hanyuu". Might have been "Ah," and then a cat noise instead. I can't really read lips too well.

Then she ran off.

"I didn't see anything." said Koizumi.

"Neither did I."

"The figure appeared on a very specific frequency of light. I had to adjust my eye structure physically to perceive her."

Wait, then how did you notice she was there?

"It was inferred by the body movements of Furude-san."

"Well, what did you see?" asked Koizumi.

"The figure was a young girl. Hair color was [R: 209 G:190 B:217]. Eye color was [R: 186 G: 183 B: 230]. She appeared to be talking to Furude-san."

"What did she say?" said Asahina-san.

"She was unintelligible. Her audio frequency must be determined. She panicked and vanished when I noticed her."

"Well, it looks like this is another layer to this mystery." said Koizumi. "We're getting into the realm of things beyond normal comprehension. Even beyond our comprehension." Stop acting like you're the host of this game. I know you're as confused as I am. For once.

I could feel Haruhi stir on my shoulders.

"Let's head back."

We started moving again.

Well, so we can add creepy shrine maidens who know all of the town's dark secrets and things only Nagato can see to the list of 'Messed-up things in Hinamizawa'.

Can we leave? Please?

* * *

"Just drop her on top of the bus. That'd work."

Me and Koizumi slowly managed to raise Haruhi up there and dump her. Finally, we can get her off my shoulders. Literally, not figuratively. Unfortunately.

We all crowded around Haruhi. She was still breathing. Barely. It's been, what, an hour or so? Shouldn't she be up by now?

"I think she's in a coma." said Asahina-san.

I kicked her lightly in the side. Nothing.

Asahina-san got a water bottle out of her bag and splashed Haruhi in the face. Nothing.

"Okay... anyone know CPR?" I asked.

Everybody shook their heads or made sounds of disagreement. Well, that's the last of the traditional cures I can think of.

"So, should we call a doctor?"

"I don't think that'd be necessary." said Koizumi.

He nodded to Nagato. Nagato got on top of Haruhi and placed her hands on her- no! Nagato, that's not socially acceptable! Don't put your hands there! There's no form of resuscitation that I'm aware of that works like that! I'm pretty sure that if Haruhi woke up, she'd knock you out!

It's moments like these that make me wish that Asahina-san would occasionally be knocked unconscious. But not really. Nothing should ever disrupt the beauty and grace that is Asahina-san.

There was a barely audible zapping sound, that'd actually be better onomatopiea-ized as "tczun". Nagato's hair got all frazzled and messed up. Haruhi spasmed. Wait, did Nagato just use herself as a living defibrilator?

"Basically." said Koizumi. "It looks like Nagato-san channeled the electricity in her muscles to restart Suzumiya-san's brain functions. Of course, this is just an impromptu solution. If Nagato-san was at full power, she could simply restore consciousness to Suzumiya-san. However, we've had to improvise. Look, Suzumiya-san's coming to."

Haruhi stirred and opened her eyes.

"Uhhh... What's going-"

Her eyes had migrated downward. I realized that waking up with an frazzled (and exhausted, at this point) Nagato straddling you with her hands on your chests would be quite the interesting experience. I'm sure that Taniguchi would pay his life's savings to see this moment. In retrospect, I'm going to call this 'poetic justice'. Or maybe 'irony'. Or something.

"Yuki, why are you groping me?"

Haruhi lifted a hand to her face.

"Why am I all wet? Did I get drunk or something and hilarity ensued without me?"

I feel like I should mention that every fiber of my being is trying to prevent me from bursting into laughter. Seriously, I should take a picture of this on my cell phone or something.

Nagato retreated her hands.

"Resuscitation."

"Oh... that makes sense. But I'm pretty sure that CPR doesn't involve you grabbing my boobs."

Nagato got off of Haruhi. Haruhi sat up.

"Where am I?"

"You're back at the junkyard." said Koizumi.

"Oh. Well, can someone fill me in on what happened?"

"Well," I said, "should we start before or after you beat up an innocent little girl?"

"Kyon, isn't that a little harsh?" asked Asahina-san.

"What? It's an honest question."

"I... the last thing I can really, definitively remember is a clang. And a laugh. I remember hitting something, and there was screaming, but it's sort of hazy."

"Well, let me fill you in: you beat the utter crap of that Hojo Satoko girl for no real reason."

"Oh yeah..."

She leaned back, gaining a look as if remembering a horrific car accident or some other even that was both horrible and awesome.

"I would like to know your motives behind it, though." said Koizumi.

"I... I don't know. I think it was the laugh and the fact that we lost and her cheating and... why does my neck itch?"

She started rubbing at a large red mark that was forming on her neck.

"Oh, that?" I said, "I think that's where you got tased."

"I got tased?"

"Yeah."

"Is that what knocked me out?"

"By the looks of it."

"But... tasers don't even work that way! They're supposed to cause muscle spasms! They aren't some sort of magic knockout device! Although something along those lines would be pretty cool. Koizumi-kun, make a note to look up something like that when we get back, okay?"

"Nevertheless," said Koizumi, "the taser did indeed knock you out for about an hour. Fascinating..."

Don't talk about Haruhi like you're watching gorillas in the Congo.

"Why'd I get tased?"

"Well, apparently that Shion girl didn't like you saying bad things about Satoko's brother."

"She didn't have to tase me for it."

Well, you didn't have to beat up Satoko, now, did you? I guess she caught the angry flu from you.

"So, what happened after she tased me?"

"Not much. We just dragged you back here."

"Ah."

Haruhi looked tired, confused, and dazed.

"There was the strangest thing, too... I heard someone talking. When I was unconscious."

"You probably just heard one of us."

Although, for the love of god and the sake of the universe, please have that _not_ be the case. If she overheard us talking, she could find out about all sorts of stuff. And that would be a bad thing.

"It wasn't anyone in the SOS Brigade. I couldn't hear you guys at all. It was... it was a little girl. But I don't think it was one of the ones we met eariler. It was someone else."

"And you heard this person without hearing any one of us?"

"All I could hear was her."

"Well, what did she say?"

"It was wierd. She was wondering who I was. I think she asked who Yuki was too. It was like she was talking to someone else. I heard her mention "breaking the cycle". Then I heard her panic. She said something about how that's not possible, and that nobody could see her. Then, she was gone."

Hold up. Panicking about how someone can see her? I think your story and the events that played out with Nagato are lining up.

Haruhi stood up and started doing some stretches.

"Maybe you're hearing spirits?" said Koizumi.

"That's not an impossibility. Small towns like this are known to house spirits. What do you think?"

"Who knows?" I said. "You might even be hearing Oyashiro-sama."

"Now that's stupid. Oyashiro-sama, assuming he even exists, would probably look like the statue of him that we saw at the shrine. And even if that was inaccurate, he'd probably be some warrior or youkai or something. Maybe even an oni."

I thought of what I said. Oyashiro-sama as a little girl. Could Haruhi have heard him? Or as the case may be, her?

...naah. I assume he looks something like his statue.

"Well, Suzumiya-san, there is some good news." said Koizumi. "We've discovered some interesting facts about the mystery."

"Well, what are they?"

"Mostly, they have to deal with Hojo Satoko."

Haruhi's expression of interest dropped.

"Oh. Well, tell away."

"Let's see..." I said. "At it's most basic level, Hojo Satoko has the entire town against her, her parents died, she was abused by her aunt and uncle, and her brother - who she cared for deeply - disappeared mysteriously last year."

"..." said Haruhi.

She had a look like she was trying to pose her eyelids and her mouth along the lines that artists use to plan faces. It was a look that would make Queen Victoria proud.

"...really?"

"Indeed."

"I assume she was raped, too?"

"I don't... think so."

"Who told you that crap, anyway?"

"It was that Rika girl, I think." said Asahina-san.

"There you go. It was probably some sop story to get us to sympathize with Satoko."

This coming from the other party in that event.

"That's not very nice..."

"Well, Mikuru-chan, you have to use common sense and logic here. I wouldn't trust anyone outside of the SOS Brigade. You cannot forget about them being biased."

"And we also can't forget about being biased ourselves." I said.

"True. That's why we have to find clues! To poke holes in this conspiracy until it crashes down and explodes!"

Haruhi, explosions kill people.

"In any case, why don't you believe that Rika was telling the truth?" said Koizumi.

"Well, I expect that the people in this town aren't completely innocent. Personally, I think that the focus of the events that will play out will focus on that group of six that we met at the school and competed against."

"And why is that?" I asked.

"They just have that 'main character' vibe, if you ask me. Anyway, I'm sure that they have some tragedy in their backstory - rape, abuse, Yakuza ties, missing parents, murder, et cetera. But having all that on one girl seems to be a bit of a deus angst machina, if you ask me."

"Well, why do they have to have that tragedy?"

"Because! They're the metaphorical cast for this murder-mystery! It's impossible for them not to have tragic backstories!"

Well, it looks like the after-effects of the taser are starting to wear off, at least. And I really hope you haven't just damned these people to have lived awful lives for the sake of one murder-mystery.

Haruhi climbed off the bus.

"I don't feel like doing much today. I declare the day a rest day. Do whatever you want, as long as you don't leave the area. I'm going to take a nap. If I don't

wake up by the time you go to sleep, it's Mikuru's turn to sleep in here."

Go take your nap. I just want a bit of peace around here.

I looked toward the forest. I caught a glimpse of some figure looking at me.

Of course, with Haruhi around, peace is the last thing that will show up.

* * *

Today is the third day we have spent in Hinamizawa.

Wait. Let me rephrase that. Today is the second full day we've spent here. Day One was spent packing (and packing and packing...), riding on a bus, nearly falling to my death, getting horribly lost, and getting the living daylights scared out of me by one Ryuugu Rena.

Day Two was spent touring the town in a relatively organized fashion until we reached the school, wherein we had a confrontation with a group of kids that average around our age (apparently), with one member of each party lost. That was followed by us learning more about this town than I'd like (and forming even more mysteries and questions) on the way back.

Day Three, so far, has been just... lounging. Not that bad of an activity, but boring as hell.

"I'm bored." said Haruhi. "Why aren't we doing anything?"

"You said yourself today was a rest day." I said.

She was lounging (something between sitting down and being sprawled out) on top of the bus. She started scratching at that red mark on her neck again. You know, if you keep that up, it's going to start bleeding. And this is a junkyard, which is probably not the most hygenic place (not to mention it's barely a ten minute walk until we're into the swamps). An infected neck wound would probably be one of the worst things that could happen on this trip (that don't include any extra prodding from the townsfolk or you). Although it would get us home...

"Don't worry. We have first aid. Even if it does bleed, we'll be fine."

She kept itching. Seriously, are you okay? Wait, that's a leading question. Are you _physically_ okay?

"I don't know... my neck keeps itching... I didn't even know that could happen."

"Maybe you should see a doctor?" said Koizumi.

You could see the individual gears click into place inside Haruhi's head like a rotary phone. After a bit, she jumped up with a shine in her eyes.

"Of course! The clinic! We still need to get Takano's notes!"

She grabbed me and pulled me up alongside her.

"I'm only going along if you promise to get your neck checked out." I said.

"Yeah, sure."

She ran over and grabbed Koizumi.

"Okay, we're off to the clinic! Yuki, Mikuru-chan, make sure to hold down the fort while we're gone, 'kay?"

We don't even know where the clinic is. And don't even think about having us search the town for it. I'm saying no right off the bat. I'm refusing to get lost again, even if it is the middle of the afternoon and in town.

"Well, fortunately," said Koizumi, "this morning, when I was getting lunch, I purchased a map of Hinamizawa."

"While I frown upon making unauthorized purchases with SOS Brigade funds-"

Funds? What funds? You specifically told us that we brought and had to use use our own cash.

"-I admire your preparedness. Remind me to reward you later."

He pulled it out and layed it on the bus. The three of us crowded around it.

"I marked where I assume the junkyard to be here." said Koizumi, pointing to a hand-drawn circle in the middle of a brown patch. "And according to the key, the clinic is at the part labeled 'C'."

"Well, where is 'C'?" asked Haruhi.

"Well, it's right... there."

He pointed to it. That's a really small 'C'.

"It's on the other side of town..." I said.

"Eh... I don't know." said Haruhi. "It took a good chunk of the morning just to get to the school. Which is, what, at point A?" She pointed at a dot. It was about halfway between here and the clinic. "Maybe we should just leave it for tomorrow."

I think you shouldn't. You're obviously sick. Maybe with a bit of luck, they'll drug you and leave you in a coma and let us live the rest of our beautiful lives without you.

We could hear people ride into the other part of the junkyard on bikes. Haruhi grinned. I don't know how she made the light glint off her eyes to make her look uber-devious, but she did.

"On the other hand..."

She jumped of the bus and started to sneak (in that crouched down way that is about as effective as running up to whoever you're sneaking past) to the sound in a roundabout way. Wait, hold on a second. Haruhi, please. You can already get arrested for battery of a minor. Don't go around adding theft to you criminal portfolio.

Haruhi beckoned for me and Koizumi to follow.

"If you don't, you'll be severely punished. This mission requires brawn as well as brains."

I don't qualify as having high marks in either brains (that'd be Koizumi, or, much more plausibly, Nagato) _or_ brawn (Nagato by leaps and bounds). Although... with what happened yesterday, I'm sure that 'punishment' probably wouldn't be just buying dinner.

We snuck around a hill of garbage to the area where the dump meets the street. Whoever had brought the bikes wasn't there. There were two bikes.

"Quick, you two get on! We gotta be quick!"

Begrudgingly, I got on the one that was closest to me. It was a girl's bike, one that was built for someone a lot more petite than I am. Koizumi, lucky bastard that he is, had a bike better built for someone like me. And there's not a snowball's chance in hell that I'm riding on the same bike as him, just so you know.

Haruhi leapt upon my shoulders/the back of the bike.

"Go! Go! Go!"

I started pedaling.

"Hey, wait!"

"That's our bikes!"

"Give them back!"

Hey, I know those voices...

"Keep pedaling, Kyon!" shouted Haruhi.

You know, I'm getting a hint of deja vu for some reason, but I don't know why. And I'm pretty sure it's common courtesy when stealing bikes to shout "I'm just borrowing it!" or "I need your bike! I'll bring it back later!" or something along those lines.

"You know," said Koizumi, pulling up alongside me, "I'm pretty sure that these belong to Maebara-san and Ryuugu-san."

"Who're they?" asked Haruhi.

"Keiichi and Rena."

"I knew that."

We're really not doing anything to endear ourselves to the locals, are we?

Thankfully for us and our leader's lack of a sense of direction, there was a straight road from the junkyard to the clinic. Actually, all roads more or less lead to the clinic.

The clinic looked... exactly like one would suspect a clinic to look like. Seriously, does this town need to have picture-perfect everything? The junkyard, the clinic, the shrine, the school... it's starting to fall into the town equivalent of the uncanny valley.

We parked our bikes and went inside. The waiting room was actually pretty big. Not the worst waiting room I've seen, that's for sure.

Haruhi walked right up to the receptionist.

"Can I help you?"

"Can we speak with Takano?"

"She's busy with a patient right now. Do you have an appointment?"

"Actually, we met with Takano-san earlier." said Koizumi. "We're here to pick up some notes about Oyashiro-sama's curse."

"Well, I did recall her saying something about getting notes... alright, I'll call her in."

"Also," I said, "can we have the doctor check something out? Like, right now?"

"Doctor Irie is working with a patient right now."

"The same one that Takano is working with?"

"Yes."

"Who could be that important as to take up pretty much all of the clinic's staff?" whined Haruhi.

"Let's see... Last person to come in here was Hojo Satoko."

"Oh..."

...she's _still_ in here because of her injuries? I... wow. It's been more than twenty-four hours. You must have caused massive internal bleeding or something.

"Well," said Haruhi, "I have this mark on my neck. It's not going away, and it itches like hell. Also, I think I might be hallucinating."

She leaned onto the receptionist's desks and pointed out the red mark.

"I see. Third door on the right. Dr. Irie will be with you shortly."

Haruhi entered the door leading to what I presumed to be the rest of the facility. That left me and Koizumi, waiting for Haruhi to finish.

Damnit, I should have brought a book.

"Well..." said Koizumi, after about a minute of awkward silence, "I have some good news."

"What's that?"

"There's evidence that Suzumiya-san has at least some power here. She's still massively overshadowed by some other, local power, and she's still not showing up on the readings, but there's no doubt about it; she has power."

"Well, what's the evidence for it?"

"It's a proactive thing. Well, I've-"

The door opened. It was Takano-san, dressed in her (_very_ revealing) nurse's outfit.

"Ah, Koizumi-kun. Kyon. It's nice to see you two again."

"Likewise, Takano-san."

"I see you are with Suzumiya-san?"

"Indeed we are."

The two of them in the same room together exude... an interesting air. So much smirking and affability. Just being around them gives you the sense that they're in on some secret plan together (Are they?). I don't like it.

"I assume that you came for the notes?"

Koizumi nodded.

Takano handed him two olive notebooks.

"Now, there's a lot of things that aren't covered in those notes. I assumed that I would be the only one reading these, so some of the more common knowledge on Oyashiro-sama isn't in there."

"That's fine. We can probably ask Furude-san to fill in the blanks."

For a split second, I noticed a look of something close to concern cross Takano's face.

"Also, I have a lot of different notes on Oyashiro-sama. I picked out the ones that I think would interest Suzumiya-san the most."

"Thank you for letting us borrow these. I'm sure-"

Like most pleasant conversations and trains of thought, this one was interrupted by Haruhi. In this case, by Haruhi shouting.

"Get away from me, you freaking pedophile!"

Haruhi slammed the door open, stormed past, attemped to grab me by the necktie to storm out with me, did not realize I wasn't wearing anything of the sort, and burst out the other door.

There was an awkward silence, the kind that most books and manga would represent with ellipses.

"Well," said Takano, somewhat bemused, "I honestly didn't expect Suzumiya-san to have that much of a temper."

Koizumi shrugged.

What exactly happened? Part of me wants to say that she got groped, but I doubt that Haruhi's moral scope (myopic as it may be) would sort that under pedophilia.

A man, who I assume to be Doctor Irie, entered the room from the door. From the look of him, he'd be one of those stupid pretty-boys like Koizumi. That is, if his glasses weren't broken, his har wasn't messed up, and he didn't have a nosebleed. What'd Haruhi do, punch him in the face?

"Was that girl a friend of yours?" he asked.

"Yes." said Koizumi.

"Well, I must say, she is very strong. And she has a good right hook."

So that's exactly what happened...

He pulled a hankerchief out of his pocket and used it to stem the bleeding.

"So, I really must ask this." I said, "Why did Haruhi punch you in the face and call you a pedophile?"

"Well... she came in, and she said she had a mark on her neck. But I assume you already knew that."

"Go on..."

"Well, I asked her where she got it from, and it turns out it was from the... shall we say, 'event' that happened at the school."

Look at that, Haruhi. You're infamous.

"I tried to make some small talk, and, well..."

He sat down. This guy reminds me of that one guy from Watchmen for some reason. Not sure why.

"Perhaps bringing up Satoko-san was a bad idea."

Satoko? But-wait. Wait... don't tell me-

"No, no. It's not what you think. However, I would like to marry her when she gets older."

...that's not helping your case, Hikaru-san. Even if you have a different values system out here in the country, that's still enough justification for Haruhi - or even me - to knock you out.

"Unfortunately, she left before I can truly diagnose her. The two of us have an idea on what she has. There's a few questions we need to ask her."

"You can ask us." said Koizumi.

"No, no. These are personal medical questions. We need her in person."

Takano laughed lightly. I swear, I'll remember that laugh until the day I die.

"If she has what we think she might have, we'll have to treat her here. Special medicine and all that."

"Tell you what." said Irie, "Bring Suzumiya-san back here as soon as you can."

"She punched you in the face and called you a pedophile. We'd probably have to drag her back kicking and screaming."

"Well, I suppose some sacrifices would have to be made," said Takano.  
"But do bring her back. Trust us, it will be worth the effort. For all of you."

It sounds like you're trying to pay us off.

Koizumi crossed his arms and shot Takano a serious look.

"Well, I'll take that in mind. However, we will stand by Suzumiya-san. There are things far beyond your scope, Takano, that are none of your concern."

"And there are plans far beyond yours, Koizumi."

"If you wish to do anything unsavory, you should know that we have a very powerful ally."

Takano smiled smugly.

"Is that so?"

There was a very tense pause.

"I think we should go." I said.

Me and Koizumi exited the building.

Logically, Haruhi had taken one of the bikes. Illogically, she had taken Keiichi's bike. At least comprehending her motives behind this will give me something to do for the rest of the day.

"Well, Koizumi, it looks like you're walking."

"You won't allow me to ride with-"

"Hell no."

He smirked, obviously expecting that answer.

"Very well."

I started biking back to our campsite. And yes, I still have the notes.

So, what I got going out of the clinic was that the people there want Haruhi for reasons that may or may not be savory. Probably not. And that Takano might be the villian of this mystery. What an I saying? People aren't designated as villains unless they're in a play. I'm spending too much time around Haruhi and Koizumi.

Did I mention that I don't like this town? I really don't.

Anyway, I gave Haruhi the notes once I got back. Her reaction to the content inside was... lukewarm.

"Huh. That's interesting."

"What's interesting?"

"Listen to this. 'Recently-discovered findings point to yet another potential cause for Oyashiro-sama's curse: the 'Hammer or Blade or Disciple or Vassal or Vessel-'"

"Did she smudge the word or something?"

"No, that's literally what it says. Says in the margin that she couldn't read whatever she found it from. I think that 'Hammer of Oyashiro-sama' sounds coolest."

Well, they all sound pretty stupid to me.

"Anyway, 'It is not theorized that this is a single individual, but rather that whoever the "Hammer of Oyashiro-sama" is changes from year to year. This could be connected to the symptoms exhibited by Ryuugu Rena in the past, but more research is needed.' And there's a note in the margin here that says 'Due?'."

She tossed the notebook away.

"These notes suck. Half of the information is either nonexistent or references to notes that we don't have. I don't know any of this."

She picked up the notebook and tossed it onto her bags.

"Keep it on hand, though. It's a pretty good read. The other note's prime nightmare fuel."

"Nightmare fuel?"

"Oh, it's a term that I read on some American website. Same place I got 'deus angst machina' from. I didn't like it. It was a total time sink. The Brigade leader, as well as all members, are forbidden from being tempted by such distractions."

"I see."

Three days spent here. Two more days until the Watanagashi festival.

Why does it feel like a ticking doomsday clock?

* * *

Day Four. Beginning of the end. Unless you don't count when we got here. Or Day Two. Or-just forget it. Anyway, this day is where we - meaning the SOS Brigade, and not counting Haruhi - start leaving our personal mark on Hinamizawa. A mark that just so happens to be in red ink.

"Okay, people." said Haruhi. The mark on her neck had indeed started bleeding overnight. She put the tiniest Band-aid that she could possibly find over it. Actually, overall, Haruhi seemed drained. "We're patrolling the town tonight."

We drew straws (that Haruhi, swear to God, bought and packed specifically for this purpose. They're plastic, too). Apparantly, fate has decided to hold up on the abuse and has given me the grace of being partnered with Asahina Mikuru-san. Koizumi and Haruhi formed another pair. Nagato was alone. She seemed to be fine with that.

Haruhi gave me a dry look.

"Hrmph. You better bring back concrete results. No schmoozing or anything of the sort. Me and Koizumi are going to check out that estate on the map that's south of the shrine. Maybe find something out about that dam incident."

They grabbed the bikes-hey! We need those! Don't take both of them!

"You can walk. Don't whine."

Well, I suppose it could be worse...

Me and Asahina-san started walking in the general direction of the shrine and the school.

"So..." I said.

"Yes?"

"Any luck contacting your folks, yet?"

"Well, if you mean my family, that's-"

"I meant your... well, your people."

"Oh... no, I haven't."

"And they can't contact you."

"I don't think so..."

"So that means you're completely isolated?"

"I think so."

"So, wouldn't that mean that you can have a little vacation? Do whatever you feel like?"

"That's cla- well... maybe..."

There was a lull in the conversation while everything clicked.

"Ah!" said Asahina-san. "I think I see what you mean. But, uh, it'd still be a really bad idea if we tried-"

She was getting red and flustered, all the while exponentially increasing her cuteness.

"Don't worry about it. I wasn't even thinking about that. Besides, what they don't know can't hurt us, right?"

"B-but we still can't do anything. I mean, Suzumiya-san is still here, and, I mean... you remember what happened last time."

All too well.

"Relax. She's depowered."

"No, she's not."

Oh, right. But she's basically depowered enough to not make a difference, right?

"She's still much weaker than she normally is, but she still has a little bit of power. And besides... I'd be more concerned with her more immediate responses that anything... well, like what she did."

She looked genuinely afraid.

We walked in somewhat-awkward silence until we reached the school.

"You know what we should do?" I said.

"About Suzumiya-san?"

"No. Right here and now. We should go and apologize to Satoko-san for what Haruhi did."

"Well... okay, I guess. But it looks like class is in session."

"We'll just pop in, apologize to her in public, walk right out, and it'll be done. Simple."

"Okay..."

We entered the school, found the classroom (the same one I got mugged in), and knocked on the door.

The teacher answered the door. Or at least, I think it was the teacher, seeing as she looked like she was definitely less than thirty, not to mention was rather stunning. Seriously, you don't get teachers that young outside of anime. It's uncanny.

"Can I help you?"

"Probably." I said. "Can we speak to Hojo Satoko?"

"She's absent."

"Absent?" asked Asahina-san.

"Yes. She has a cold."

A cold? But she looked perfectly fine after - nevermind.

"Well, what would you like to say to her? I'm sure that if it's important, Rika-chan can transfer the message for you."

"We represent the SOS Brigade." I said. "We we just stopping in to deliver a public apology."

"For what happened two days ago?"

"Yes."

"Well, you could probably apologize to the class, then. I'm sure that they'd be accepting."

"Um... okay." said Asahina-san.

We were let into the classroom. Class was, indeed, in session, but it looked like a study session. Everything seemed to stop once we entered.

"Well," said Asahina-san, "we are here to represent the SOS Brigade. I would like to say I'm sorry - ah! I mean, we're sorry, for the actions of our leader, Suzumiya-san, two days ago."

A vague silence entered the room.

"Chie-sensei?" asked Mion. I think it was Mion, at least. The other twin was absent.

"Yes?"

"Mind if we speak to these two?"

"Not at all."

Well, this probably won't end well...

Keiichi, Rena, and Mion walked out into the hallway. Me and Asahina-san followed.

"Look, if it's about the bikes, we'll give them back." Once we get them back from Haruhi, of course.

"Don't worry, don't worry." said Rena. "Just give them back when you guys leave town." Something told me she wanted that event to be sooner than later.

"So, what do you want to talk to us about? Is this about Haruhi?" I said.

"Who?" said Keiichi.

"The girl that beat up Satoko."

"Right. No, it's not about her."

"Then, what's it about?"

"It's about your entire group." said Mion. "Something's off about you guys. I think you're hiding something from us."

The feeling is mutual.

"Not... really. By the way, where's Shion-san? Is she sick too?" asked Asahina-san.

"She's not." said Mion. "She transferred yesterday."

I doubt it.

"No, really! I have no idea why. I thought she liked the town."

"Oh..." said Asahina-san. "you mean, something like how Satoshi-"

Mion lunged forward suddenly and pinned Asahina-san to the wall.

"NO! It was _nothing_ like what happened to Satoshi! Nothing!"

Asahina-san melted under the sudden outburst. Keiichi and Rena, now rather scared, pulled her off. I think we might have pressed a wrong button with her.

"This was a legitimate transfer. You... none of you know what happened to Satoshi..."

"Hold on. How do you know about Satoshi?" asked Rena.

"Satoshi?" said a confused Keiichi.

Well, it looks like we know more about at least one thing than at least one person here. That's a little bit reassuring.

"Well, we..." said Asahina-san. Although "said" is a misnomer. She half-whimpered it. Being unable to handle the stress of being under such intense scrutiny from the head of the local games club, she swooned, and bolted daintily out the door.

"Asahina-san! Wait!" said Keiichi. He still seemed confused, and he looked like he was suspiscious of something. Us, presumably. Or maybe them.

I decided to not stick around with these people and I followed Asahina-san out, ignoring their protests against that.

I left the building. No sign of Asahina-san. Please, please please please please, don't tell me you've ran off don't know what you could run into. You could end up getting hurt, and I pledged to myself that nothing like that would happen.

"Sir! Sir!"

Someone was calling for me. I decided to humor him or her (presumably her) by not continuing on my merry way, but rather, turning and stopping.

It was Rika.

"Sir, did Rena-chan and Kei-chan and Mi-chan tell you what they had to say?"

"They didn't. Mion got hot-tempered and it scared Asahina-san off."

"You really should have listened to what they had to say. And, well..."

Well, what?

"...Kyon, sir, you need to get out of here before it's too late!"

And I think that might be the most cliche phrase I've heard so far. Congratulations.

"No, I'm serious! You and your group need to leave as soon as you can. Suzumiya... she's started something."

Started what?

"...everything."

What do you mean by "everything"?

"Each festival... things happen, sir. Horrible things. I thought this time, it might be Keiichi or Rena, but..."

"But what? Are you suggesting that Haruhi has Oyashiro-sama's curse?"

"I... no, sir. Everything's happening at once. Satoko... Rena and Keiichi... I didn't even think it could happen to Shion if she was here but... I thought that everything might work for once."

...

I'm completely lost.

"You see... no, I can't explain here. It doesn't feel right. Meet me at my house tonight, sir. I'll explain there."

"What, alone?"

"Alone."

Haruhi's going to flip out if she finds out I'm talking to the townsfolk behind her back. Which probably wouldn't end well for yours truly. But... she'd definitely appreciate any information I could find. I guess I'll go. But I'm warning you, of you pull a knife on me and try to kill me, I won't hesitate to kill you first. And don't bring your future self or take me into a shadow dimension or reveal that you're a slider or a witch or any crap like that.

Rika just stared and blinked at me.

"Kyon?"

Ah, and Asahina-san returns from her excursion to... wherever she ran off to.

"Are we still going to look around town?"

"Yeah. I was just talking to Rika-san."

Me and Asahina-san started walking.

"Bye! See you later, sir!" said Rika.

"Wait, I don't know where you live. Where's your house?" I said.

"It's up that road. You'll reach it eventually."

If it wasn't for past experience, I'd say that this town is all on one road.

We walked off.

"What was that about?" said Asahina-san.

"She wants to talk to me." I said.

"About what?"

"No idea."

"You're going to?"

"What's the worst that could happen?"

Wait, no, I take that back. One, tempting fate is bad. Two, the worst that could happen would be a trap where she tries to stab me.

We walked.

"You think you should tell Suzumiya-san that you're going to talk to her?" said Asahina-san.

"I don't see why."

"But, wouldn't she get mad? She probably wouldn't like you keeping secrets from her."

"You _do_ realize what you just said, right?"

"...yeah, what about it?"

"The covert time-traveler saying that keeping secrets from the reality warper who isn't aware of that fact - and shouldn't be, for fear of the apocalypse - is a bad thing."

"Hey! That's different!"

"Sure it is..."

It's moments of playful banter like this that makes all the extra boredom and torture worth it.

This is really nice. I'm walking through a beautiful forest town (despite all my whining, it's a really nice and gorgeous place. It's the people that ruin it) on a warm summer day, just me and Asahina Mikuru-sama. You know what? This is the first time since we arrived here that I've felt happy. I've felt good, true, and I still feel a bit paranoid and unsettled and there's some dread in there too, but I can add "happy" to the list, for once.

The state of bliss was, well, not quite broken... more like dampened, when a car headed our way. Me and Asahina-san got out of the way, but it wasn't necessary. It stopped a good deal before us.

Two figures got out of the car. One of them (the driver) was a burly, blonde man. The other was...

"Hey, isn't that Satoko-san?" said Asahina-san.

So it was. But, she didn't look well. And I don't mean that in the sense that she looked like she had a cold - far from it. I could tell all the way from here that she had been crying, and her arms were purple and green. Looks horribly bruised from here, and I really doubt that Haruhi caused all of those. She seemed methaphorically green, too.

"Goddamnit, you stupid brat," said the man, "can't you just wait until- oh, for the love of-just go! Go!"

Satoko bolted for the bushes. I could hear her retching. Well, _that_ certainly broke the mood.

She hobbled back. Good god, her shirt's stained. That's just sick.

The man smacked Satoko. She went down hard.

"Goddamn brat..."

Satoko slowly raised herself into a cowering position. I don't know why, but seeing Satoko being abused by this guy is somehow a lot worse than seeing her getting beaten within an inch of her life by Haruhi.

I'm still not sure why I did what I did next. In retrospect, it was very, very stupid and almost got me killed. Out of all the possible reasons I could think of, the most rational one was to "save" her. Which was just the opposite of what happened afterwards, but I'm foreshadowing too much as it is.

"Hey, Satoko!" I said, in an overtly cheery voice. I'd never use that voice unless I was deliberately distracting someone or if I went crazy. Fortunately for my current sanity, I was.

The man must not have noticed me walk up, because he practically jumped out of his skin. Asahina-san gave me one of those "what the hell are you doing" looks.

"It's good to see you! We were just at the school looking for you!"

The man pulled Satoko up. She looked like she could barely stand as it is.

"Eh? What'd you want?"

"We were just going to apologize for what happened the other day."

"Oh, you mean that beating she got?"

"Well, yeah." It's official: _everyone_ has heard about it.

"Well, you'd better apologize. I thought I could just leave her as she was, but noooo! I got called, and I had to come all the way back to this damn little town and help her out. 'Closest living relative' my ass..."

Who is this guy?

"Name's Hojo Teppei. I'm her uncle."

Uncle? Oh, right. Wait, didn't Rika say you skipped town?

"Now, Satoko," said Teppei, "that was very nice of them. Say thank you."

"Th... th-"

Satoko burst into a coughing fit. Oh, god, she's coughing up vomit. What the hell did you do to her?

"Oh, she just got a little carsick, that's all."

That's about as plausible as if someone said that Haruhi was normal.

"Now, say thank you."

"Th... thank you..."

"Good."

It was at about this time that he noticed Asahina-san. Somehow. Seriously, she's standing less than a meter away. I'm not sure if he's ignorant or he just has no peripheral vision. Probably the former.

"Well, well, well! What do we have here?"

He was staring directly at his chest. Hey, don't even think of doing anything like that. She's... well, she's not my girlfriend. She's a colleague. Either way, I'll knock you out of you touch her.

"Impressive!" said Teppei. "I want to take this one home with me!"

And then, there was that small 'bloop'.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Okay, that is it. I've gotten (ever so slightly) used to Haruhi groping Asahina-san, but some creepy old man is definitely too much. Maybe it's that we just met, maybe it's because you're a guy, either way, you're not getting away with that. And there's no metaphysical limit that'd end the world that's keeping me from decking you.

So that's exactly what I did. I punched this creep right in the face. He went down. I could see a bit of blood. Score one victory for the SOS Brigade. (For those keeping track at home, that's one tiny win and one major loss. And that's not counting when we were lost. Okay, that was really bad.)

I turned to confort Asahina-san.

"Don't worry. Everything's going to be fine."

"K-Kyon, I-Kyon!"

Rather suddenly, I was pushed up against a tree. The arm pushing me happened to be connected to the snarling, bleeding, and very angry figure og Hojo Teppei.

Oh, this is going to suck.

He smiled. That was most definitely not a nice smile. He pulled out a switchblade. You know, with two glaring exceptions, possibly more, this is the most frightening thing to ever happen to me.

"You're gonna regret that, ya stupid brat."

He put the knife up to my face, up to the corner of my mouth-

-and was suddenly hurled back fast enough to crack the plaster on the opposite wall.

Now, standing between me and Hojo Teppei, was Nagato Yuki.

And she looked pissed.

Well, not in the conventional way. She looked as emotionless as ever, but her eyes looked like they could melt steel. The air around her literally felt hot.

"You have made a fatal mistake."

I then noticed that Teppei was still about a foot off the ground. Nagato practically nailed him to the wall.

Satoko tried to run up to her uncle, but she tripped and stumbled when she tried.

"This individual is crucial to the integrity of things far beyond both your comprehension, and your scope." said Nagato. "His death is not an option. You have no such role, or restrictions."

Nagato walked within centimeters of Teppei.

"No, no no!" said Teppei. "You got it all wrong! I-I wasn't going to _kill_ him, no sir!"

"That cannot be proven."

Nagato picked the knife up from the ground. It shimmered and melted. Not into the usual white sand-type thing substance, but into what looked like mercury. Teppei's eyes went wide.

"However... your death would arouse suspiscion. Normally, I could attribute it to someone else, and have them deal with legal consequences. However, this space greatly limits my power, so that is not an option. It could, theoretically be attributed to Oyashiro-sama's curse, but that does not align with the festival."

"So... so yer gonna let me go?"

"No."

Nagato gave him a look that somehow was both cold as ice and hot as lava.

"There are 217 bones in the human body. Among them, there are around 230 joints. One of the most complex of these joints is the joint connecting the pelvis and the femur. There are trace amounts of gases withing the joint. I can increase the volume of said gases, causing the bone to shatter into 17 pieces. The pieces would embed themselves in the tissue of the leg and lower torso, impeding function in circulatory, nervous, skeletal, musculatory, endocrine, and reproductive systems. The resulting damage would not heal, and it will take doctors another fifty years to fully repair."

"...what the hell does _that_ mean?"

To be honest, if I was in Nagato's shoes right now, I would have smirked.

"...this."

Nagato balled her fist.

The only outward sign that she had done anything to him was his bloodcurdling scream. It was like a very large, brutish, wounded animal, which perfectly describes Hojo Teppei.

"GYAHHHAH! You bitch!"

Nagato let him down. He charged at her. On the first step he took, he collapsed.

"What did you _do_ to me?"

"..."

"Ow... oh god... I gotta get to a hospital."

"And who would take care of Satoko-san, then? Who would make sure that she stays... okay?"

"What? I've never done-"

He glared at Satoko.

"What did you tell them?"

"I d-didn't tell them anything!" said Satoko (although she sounded like she was speaking out of a broken jaw - please don't be speaking out of a broken jaw). "I'm sorry!"

"She's right." said Asahina-san. "B-but we know what you did!"

Yeah, it's just the slightest bit blatant. Seriously, just because she was beaten by Haruhi does not mean you get a free pass to bludgeon her to the brink of death.

"Grr, help me up, then, ya brat."

She did, in a long, awkward, and rather disturbing process that was not helped by the fact that Satoko was helping both of them up at once.

"Just... get me home. I want a bath."

The two of them started walking off, Teppei using Satoko more like a brace. I noticed that his leg was now bleeding profusely. We waited (and waited, and waited, and waited to about the ninth degree - they did not walk fast, that's for sure) for them to hobble out of sight.

"Nagato?" I said.

"Yes?"

"What was that for?"

"I was saving you. It was necessary to prevent you from getting harmed."

Um, no it wasn't. Tossing him away would have been acceptible. Showy, but acceptible. Shattering his hip? Not so much. Even for him, that was pointlessly cruel.

"It was to deliver a psychological effect. After that, he will not disturb you or any other members of the SOS Brigade."

Taking tactics from your sci-fi novels isn't that good of an idea.

"And he is now limited in what he can do to Satoko-san."

So you destroyed this man to save Satoko? That's... that's Templar thinking right there.

"Do not underestimate me."

"I guess I shouldn't have. I thought you were depowered."

"I am not depowered. I am only limited by what needs authorization."

And how much does that limit you?

"Asakura Ryoko was not authorized to give herself full control over the classroom, to my knowledge."

Oh.

"So, that _was_ data manipulation when you melted his knife."

"No. I had transmuted the knife by modifying the atomic structure of the material. Much simpler."

"Um... are we still going to go look?" said Asahina-san.

"Look for what?"

"Well... clues, information. What Suzumiya-san wanted us to find."

I shrugged.

For the first time that day, the higurashi cried. And I swear, something is up with them. Always crying at dramatic moments. I blame Haruhi.

"Well... I-I don't really feel like doing anything else today." said Asahina-san.

I don't blame you. From what you've been through, you should go home and get some rest. Make yourself a nice warm cup of tea. Take a nap. I'll even ask Haruhi if you can go, even if I know she'll say no.

We started walking back.

"That was pretty showy, Nagato-san. I really hope that nobody saw what you did."

I took a look around. I caught a glimpse of purple eyes from the bushes.

Of course. Speak of the devil, tempting fate and all that.

And so, the SOS Brigade, working independently of the leadership of Suzumiya Haruhi, have caused the first blood to be shed (even if the bleeding is probably internal), that of one Teppei Hojo. The injury would end up starting a chain of death and bloodshed, if it wasn't for the fact that this was another domino fallen in the chain of blood that Haruhi beat down from Hojo Satoko. And trust me, there's going to be a lot of blood.

But not for another day or two.

Tonight, I'm going to find out exactly what's behind the mysteries of Hinamizawa and Oyashiro-sama's curse.

Well, to an extent.

* * *

It's the day before the Watanagashi festival. And I'm going to spend it out on the town. Well, if you have a loose definition of "town".

It was about five in the afternoon. Haruhi was absent. According to Koizumi, Haruhi had scratched at her wound, she bled, screamed, ran off, and wasn't seen since. Ominous, but I know she'll be back. She'd left a note saying she's out shopping. Nothing in particular, just... shopping. Okay, now I'm not looking forward to when she does come back.

I took the bike that Haruhi didn't take (Keiichi's, thankfully) and rode off.

Let's see... if we go past the school, and past where we, shall we say, "met" Hojo Teppei, but short of the clinic, we'll be at least somewhat close.

As I passed the wall that Hojo Teppei was thrown into, I noticed that his car was gone. A different car had pulled up. There was a large, old man looking at where he had hit the wall (Nagato really did crack the plaster) with a flashlight.

Eh, don't care for now. Moving on.

I kept riding until I found a house. Actually, it's more like three or four. At least.

Okay, this wasn't expected. Let's start from the right, and work out way to the left, shall we?

I walked up to the closest house and knocked on the door.

"Who is it? Oh, hello, Kyon."

So this is Rena's house. Eh. One vowel and one consonant off is still pretty dang close.

"Yeah, um, do you know where Rika lives?"

"Just up the road. It's that two story house with the ladder by it."

"Thanks."

As she shut the door, I noticed that she had a bandage on her neck. Huh. Maybe I should ask her about it, get some information for Haruhi.

Nah. It'd be rude to ask.

I rode up to the road to her house. While it was a two-story affair, it was also tiny. Very tiny. Not what I would have expected from the high priestess.

I knocked on the door. Rika answered.

"Come in."

I went inside. The house was small on the inside, too. I sat down at a table.

"Tea, sir?" said Rika.

"Sure."

She poured me a cup of tea. Then she opened the fridge and pulled out a wine bottle. Wait, what?

"Is there anything wrong with it, sir?"

"But you just poured me tea."

"I know."

"Then what's with the wine?"

"It's for me."

What.

"Is there anything wrong with that?"

"Well, yes! You're, what, ten? You don't care that you're killing yourself?"

"Eh. Nothing new."

Well, fine. But you should at least share.

She took a swig of her wine.

"Besides, I could never tell someone I've only met once this story if I was sober."

"Look, let me just get one thing out of the way."

"Yes?"

"Are you an alien?"

"No."

"Are you a time traveler?"

"Umm... no, I don't think so. Perhaps."

Interesting answer.

"Are you an esper?"

"I don't even know what that is, sir."

"Well, it's a sort of psychic."

"Oh. No, sir."

I took a sip of tea. It's a bit hot, but with the exception of tea brewed by Asahina-san (which is completely in a league of it's own), it could very well be the best I've had.

"You ask wierd questions, sir."

"Look, the last time someone invited me to their house for a talk, they turned out to be an interface for some cosmic entity. I'm just making sure that you're normal."

"I am most definitely not normal."

And there's the creepy voice.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Furude Rika. I am ten years old. I have been ten years old for about the past twenty years or so."

"How so?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you immortal or do you just not age or what?"

"No. Well, yes. I am not immortal in the sense that I cannot die, because I can die. In fact, my death causes the world to repeat. I assume it will until I can get out of the cycle."

"So it's like saving your game and reloading it until you win?"

"This is no game. Not in the least."

Note to self: do not use video game metaphors with people from religous backwater towns. They won't get it.

"Oh, I get it now." I said. "You're stuck in an endless recursion of time, aren't you?"

"Well, if you want to be technical, yes."

I feel your pain.

"No, you don't. You're saying that to be nice."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You haven't been through what I've been through."

"Actually, I have."

"You've been in a, what did you call it, 'endless recursion of time'?"

She obviously didn't believe me.

"Yeah."

"But you're here."

"I am."

"That means you got out of it, right?"

"I did."

Before I could know what was happening, she had leapt over the table and was on top of me. Her current look of elation was remiscent of Haruhi. Seriously, you're coming off as manic-depressive at this point.

"You got out of an endless recursion of time?"

I just said that.

"How? Tell me! Tell me!"

"Well, I could tell you, but you wouldn't believe me if I did."

"I don't care!"

"Well, I did my homework."

There's a lot more to it than that. I mean, a lot more. But that would be getting into Haruhi, and that's still off-limits.

What followed was probably the most impressive draining of emotion and color from someone's face that I've ever seen. Like I said, manic-depressive.

"You... you... you're kidding me. Right?"

"Well, it was a lot more complicated than that, but that's the most basic way of putting it."

She slunk back to her chair and took a large swig of wine.

"See, I told you you wouldn't believe me." I said.

"Well, at least you know what it's like to experience endless days."

"Well, actually, I can't say that I do. I didn't really remember any of the loops that well."

"Oh. So you were then like they are now. Unscarred. Unknowing."

Hey, if you're trying to call me a fool, then don't. You said twenty-something years? Try over one hundred. You aren't in the neighborhood of Nagato just yet.

"Nagato... I see. Well, did she ever die in any of those loops?"

"Well, not to my knowledge, but-"

"Then she still doesn't compare."

I finished off the rest of my tea.

"I don't know which of us is wierder; you for telling this story to me, a complete stranger... or me, for buying the story right off the bat."

"So you believe me?"

"I've seen stranger."

"How so?"

"Well, I know an interface for a superpowerful alien designed to monitor a godlike being."

"...Well, I can't deny that that is stranger."

Rika poured me another glass (of tea - I still want some of that wine, you know).

"Oh... I get it now." I said.

"So, is that all you wanted to talk to me about?" I said.

"No. There's another thing."

"And that is?"

"Well... no. You wouldn't get it."

"Well, I probably would."

And besides, whatever backstory you have can't possibly beat mine.

"I doubt it."

"Okay... well, have you ever nearly been murdered by a psychotic schoolgirl?"

"Yes. Have you ever stabbed yourself in the head?"

"Well, perha-"

"Seven times?"

"I... you can survive that?"

"Of course not. Don't be silly."

That... that sounds extremely painful.

"It was."

She took another sip of wine.

"Oh... I get it." I said.

"Get what?"

"What you said about us being new. You meant that we weren't in any of the previous loops."

"Correct. That's what makes it even more confusing. Do you know why you are here?"

"I have my theories."

Actually, my theory is simple: Haruhi wants to be in Hinimizawa, therefore, we're in Hinamizawa. Screwing planes, timeframes, limitations and recursions is part of Haruhi's quirky charm. ...And regardless of what you heard, I have never, ever used the words "quirky charm" to describe Haruhi's antics, character, and power. Never. So don't even think about claiming that I did, because I didn't.

"Anyway, I hate to ask you for so much..." said Rika. "But, well, I've asked everyone else in the past, and they all laughed at me. But you actually believe me."

That says so much about how strange my normal life is.

"So... can you try to help me break the cycle?"

"You called me out here just to ask for my help?"

"Well, yes."

"...no."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm not going to go out of my way to help you with this."

"Why?"

"Look, I don't like being used as some sort of supernatural detective/magnet. Sometimes, it seems like everywhere I go, someone wants me to solve something. Haruhi's crazy enough as it is. Even more so since we arrived. I don't need some other mystery on my shoulders."

"Well, perhaps I could ask Haruhi to-"

"Don't."

"Why not? Isn't mysteries like mine the point of the SOS Brigade?"

"First off, I have no idea how you even know that. Second, while Haruhi would love it, she's not supposed to know that things like this exist."

"Why not?"

"That's classified."

Rika took a long, long sip of her wine.

"Look, I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. That's exactly how I expected you to answer."

I can tell that she really wanted me to have said yes. But I still think that my point stands. Seriously, Hinamizawa is nice enough (climate-wise, history-wise, and architecture-wise) to be a vacation destination. Haruhi's playing it as such, it can't hurt too much for me to follow suit. But I probably just acted like a total asshole back there...

"Well, if it would make you feel better, I'll try to make sure to handle Haruhi and the rest of the Brigade, and leave you to your demons."

"Okay."

"I have another question."

"Ask it."

"Well, if it's a loop, then how could we have started everything?"

"Well..." she said, swapping voices, "you know how after a bunch of stuff happens, after a while, you start sheeing patterns?"

"Yeah..."

"Well," she said, making loops in the air with her hands, "there'sh a pattern with Keiishi, and a pattern with Rena, and a pattern with Shion. It's now all happening at the shame time. Or shomthing like that. *hic!*"

I think you're drunk.

"I think sho too. It's unfor... unforshu... it shucks, too. There's sho much more that needsh to be shaid."

See, told you that drinking is bad for you. Although I must say, watching you be drunk is rather amusing, although kind of fundementally wrong.

"I think I should probably go and try to wrap my brain around everything you just said." I said.

"Okay."

I started to leave.

"One lasht thing, shir."

I stopped.

"You have to leave town tomorrow, at the latesht. No excshepshuns. If you don't, well *hic!*, just becaushe you jusht showed up doeshn't mean you aren't exshempt fron all the killing.

That might have been the most bathos-laden semi-ominous warning I have ever heard.

I exited the house, got on the bike, started riding back to camp, and mulled over all that she said.

Here's a rough summary of what I see the Hinamizawa plot being so far: Furude Rika is the only one in the town that has memories of the loops that Hinamizawa is trapped in, and has been for the past... I think she said something like twenty years, give or take a few. In each loop, people die, herself included. Me and the rest of the SOS Brigade are present in one of these loops, and only one - this one. I'm still not quite sure how we even got in here, but I'm pretty sure Haruhi got in by brute force.

Hold on... a place where murders happen frequently, where they happen over and over again, that reset themselves, and is immune to the meddling of the SOS Brigade. That is the perfect venue for Haruhi to try and "crack".

I pulled into the dump-

-and my bike was caught on a cable or something. I was bucked over the handlebars, and I had a not-soft-in-the-least landing. Ow.

"Halt! Who are you! State your business!"

Haruhi was standing over me, with-is that a crossbow?

"Oh, Kyon, it's you. I was looking for you. We need to talk."

She lowered the crossbow.

"Where the heck did you get a crossbow?"

"Oh, this? I made it."

Upon closer inspection, that is obvious. It's also somewhat obvious that that thing can't fire. It looks like a shoe crossed with a few coat hangers, plus some wood from god-knows-what. I can see that the drawstring both lacks elasticity and is tied to the main shaft with a bobby pin. Seriously, I could make a better crossbow out of paper and underwear. Although I must give you credit for the pencil-and-razor-blade arrows. Those look painful.

"I decided to make it with some of the extra defense materials."

Dare I ask?

"Oh, you know. Hammer, nails, 2x4s, razor blades, barbed wire-"

"Barbed wire?"

"Yeah. It's for keeping people in and tripping people on bikes and such."

Tripping people on-oh, for the love of...

"I think it'll do a pretty good job, if I say so myself."

I noticed.

I got up, and dusted myself off. Thankfully, I wasn't cut by anything by the force of the hit.

"Now, into the bus. Now. We need to have a little... conversation, if you will."

That is not a nice smile.

She started scratching at her neck again. It was now bleeding somewhat profusely, from both sides. Although the mark on the other side looks more like it was cut open, by the looks of it. Haruhi, really. You need to see a doctor.

"What, you mean the creep at the clinic? Don't be ridiculous."

Then go out of town, then. Okonomiya or whatever it is probably has a hospital.

"Leaving isn't an option until we have at least a good lead on the town's mystery."

To be honest, I probably made more progress than you did today.

I entered the bus. It smelled like blood. It was also stained with bloodstains. Tiny ones, more like a few droplets than a gush.

I have a very bad feeling about this.

"Sit in that corner, would you kindly."

I did. Haruhi is sounding unusually calm, almost monotonous. It's creepy, and I don't like it.

"Now... where were you today?"

Oh crap. I don't have anything that even remotely resembles an alibi.

"Umm... I was out."

"Out, you say? Doing what?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing at all?"

"Don't worry, I wasn't talking to anyone."

Haruhi laughed, sounding eerily like Takano-san's signature laugh.

"Ooh, it looks like we've found ourselves a suspisciously specific denial," she said in a singsong voice.

Haruhi, are you possessed? Seriously, even your eyes seem blank and dead. Um, should I call a priest or something?

"Oh, you aren't going anywhere." And she capped that off with another ominous chuckle.

She leaned up really, really close to me. I could feel some blood dripping onto my leg. Oh, god that's completely awful.

"You were talking to someone. Behind my back."

"No, I wa-"

"THAT'S A LIE!"

Ow... point-blank. My ears...

"I don't appreciate you lying to me, Kyon. Lying gets you hurt."

Something tells me she's going to be direct about that part.

"Now... who were you talking to?"

"Furude Rika."

"Ah! So you _were_ talking to someone."

Okay, either that was a leading question - and I'm not that familiar with the Japanese court system, but I think that's illegal - or you honestly were pulling that all out of your ass, which means that you are nuts. Probably the latter.

"That's treason, right there. Treason against the SOS Brigade."

I was doing exactly what the SOS Brigade is supposed to do. I probably got more information than you did today, anyway.

"There's major penalties for treason. You know that, right?"

She grabbed something from the shelf.

"Duct tape?"

Haruhi nodded.

"I really don't want to do this, Kyon."

Then stop!

"But... you have to be punished for your crimes. I'm sorry."

Hell, knowing you, you'll probably be enjoying every minute.

She grabbed my arm, yanked it out, and taped it to the floor. If I tried to resist, I obviously was futile.

"Spread your fingers."

I complied. She got on top of me. Yeah, this is really damn intimate and incredibly horrifying.

"Hmmm... leave them there. Don't move them."

I wouldn't, even if I wanted to.

"Maybe... no. Your mouth stays free."

Haruhi set the duct tape down, and then grabbed-

Oh, god.

A hammer and a single long, rusty nail.

And she taped my arm and wants me - more like forced me - to spread my fingers.

This is going to hurt. A lot.

"Now, I can tell what you're thinking, and where you think this thing will go. But don't worry. Even a traitor still needs some dexterity."

That's not very reassuring.

She held the nail up to my forehead. Then she moved it agonizingly slowly down my face (did she have to tap my eyelid with it?), down my arm, and onto my hand.

"Let's see..." said Haruhi, almost singing again, "I think that there's a tendon along here, and bones along here..."

She shifted, moving the nail under my thumbnail. No, no, no, don't even think about that. That would hurt so much.

"...nah. It doesn't seem... I don't know. It just feels overused to me."

I haven't actually seen that happen, come to think of it.

"Neither have I."

She ran the nail along my finger, and traced it over my hand. Then, suddenly, Haruhi drew the hammer and nailed the nail straight through my palm.

...

...

...

...graaarrrrrgh...

That... son of a bitch, this really hurts. I mean, I've been stabbed, and that hurt like hell. But this... agh...

You know, most descriptions of pain are metaphorical or similies, such as "I felt like I got hit by a freight train". But... gah. This is suprisingly spot on. It honestly feels like a nail was driven through my hand. I guess that's the beauty of it all.

I tried to move my hand. It was, pardon the bad pun, nailed to the floor of the bus. And it was bleeding.

God, I know I'm restating the obvious, but it's taking all my self-control to keep from screaming, crying, or passing out from the pain. Argh...

"Now, have you learned your lesson?"

"Gah... you... you're insane..."

She didn't respond, but merely smirked.

"Why?" I said.

"Why what?"

"Why this? Why did you stab me?"

"Don't be silly. I didn't stab you."

Don't get all technical on me.

"And besides, it's a penalty."

Can't I buy lunch?

Haruhi got off of me, and untaped my arm. Still stuck.

"Now, if I catch you talking to anyone else from this town without verification from any other SOS Brigade member, I'm going to crucify you. Maybe even give you a crown of barbed wire."

You just said you were atheist a few days ago.

"Got that?"

"Yeah, yeah..."

I tried to pull the nail out with my hand, but - ow... the pain... Look, I know that, as narrator, I have to narrate. But this hurts way too much. Ow...

We'll pick up tomorrow.

* * *

"Okay, is everyone dressed?"

At last, today is the day of the Watanagashi festival. About damn time, too.

Haruhi had packed kimonos and yutaka (preparing for every possible occasion, as she has done) for the festival for us. However, earlier, Koizumi had learned that the festival is, to an extent, casual. Unless you want to be super-formal (Haruhi doesn't qualify in the least), you can wear whatever. The kimonos were pointless. Nevertheless, we dressed up a little bit. Haruhi was still wearing a kimono, and thanks to Haruhi's iron grip, Asahina-san was wearing one as well. Nagato was wearing her school uniform (which, honestly, she has been wearing since we showed up. Does she even sweat? Or, for that matter, do anything that would require a change of clothes? Does she even _have_ a change of clothes?). Koizumi and I were wearing our school uniforms, minus the blazer. Good enough.

Haruhi was briefing us (or going to start soon) about what we should do and not do during the festival. Considering that this is the same girl that drove a freaking nail into my hand, I don't know if I should listen.

Oh, right, I was going to summarize what happened last night. Okay, let's do this.

After Haruhi had removed the tape from my arm, I sat there for a while longer, being impaled onto the bus. That sounds a lot less painful in my head, trust me. Anyway, Asahina-san, living saint that she is, used a spare hammer to pull the nail out and gave me some first aid. Afterwards, Nagato healed the hole in my hand to a flawless recreation of what it was before. What lifesavers. No, really, I probably would have gotten an infection or something.

"Now, people, feel free to enjoy yourselves. After all, this is, first and foremost, a festival. However, finding information is still the top priority. Take notes on everything that happens, espescially during the religious ceremony itself. I myself am going to be searching for evidence to back up my case."

Don't. Please, don't do anything stupider than you've already done, and if you have to, don't do it in public! I don't want us to be run out of town by a mob with torches and pitchforks. Or, as the case probably would be, with cleavers, tasers, and other pointier objects. Although the pitchfork would probably still be used.

Haruhi had changed her bandages. The fresh gouges from last night were covered up with a new strip that was tightly wrapped around her neck. Actually, tightly only barely begins to describe it. I'd only tie a wrap that tight if I was bitten by a taipan and trying to stop the poison flow. Around the neck is just suicidal.

Haruhi had screamed, burst out of her bed (and giving Koizumi a nice boot mark on his pretty face - which begs the question of why Haruhi was sleeping with boots on), and ran screaming into the night. This morning, she stalwartly refused to give any sort of reason why.

"Okay, we're all set! Let's go!"

Even though the Furude shrine complex was about ten minutes or so of walking, we walked anyway. Probably because I convinced Haruhi that the girly bike couldn't hold two people, but mostly so I didn't have to carry three people and that Nagato would be heavier this time.

"Now, now, Yuki-chan is slim and petite. And besides, calling people fat is an insult."

...no comment.

"So, how's your hand doing?"

I didn't feel like saying "You have the balls to ask me how my hand is feeling after _putting a nail in it yourself?_", so I just gave her sort of a look.

"Alright, I'm sorry about it, okay? I wasn't thinking clearly yesterday."

She mumbled something about blood loss and more unintelligible mutterings.

"Well, if you really must know, it's feeling a bit better." I said

I rubbed the mock bandages covering the great amounts of perfectly healthy flesh.

"Well, the point is, you learned your lesson. And that's what matters."

"Lesson? What sort of crap lesson was that? Besides, it wasn't treason. It was actually information gathering."

"_Unsanctioned_ information gathering. Still treason. And where is that information?"

"Eh, ask Koizumi about it."

He doesn't actually know, by the way. I think. At least, if he does know, I'll have to punch him.

"Oh, and one more thing." said Haruhi. "The no-talking rule is not in effect during festival time. Feel free to socialize at will. But remember! Don't spill any of the secrets of the SOS Brigade!"

_You_ don't know the secrets of the SOS Brigade.

We came upon the Furude shrine complex. It was completely packed with booths, and people. You don't really notice how big the complex is until you see that.

"Wow..." said Asahina-san.

Her eyes had lit up like fireflies as she stared in wonder and awe at all the people. Okay, this is a memory I'll save after I systematically delete every memory of Hinamizawa and the events that occurred in it.

"Okay, screw that plan!" said Haruhi. "Let's have some fun!"

Haruhi started running off. We followed her. She slowly wound down to a stop a few seconds later.

"Is something the matter?" asked Koizumi.

"It's... it's wierd. You know about that voice I heard a few days ago?"

We nodded.

"Well... it's back again. But just barely. It's like... it's like a little voice on the wind. Barely there. It's actually sorta cool."

I looked over at Nagato to see if she could verify the existence of this spirit that I'm going to dub as "Hanyuu", and if it is one and the same as the voice. No reaction.

"Well, what's it saying?" asked Koizumi.

"It's saying... we need to leave."

Nagato just barely nodded, a slight twitch that also confirmed the concept behind "Hanyuu".

I stopped. Well, mentally. I was already physically stopped, so... yeah.

We were. Weren't we. Well, I guess it's hard to take a warning from a drunken little girl seriously. Right?

"Eh." said Haruhi, continuing on towards the complex, "I don't care. It's festival time, after all."

I completely agree with you.

"So, should we-"

We stopped. Physically, this time.

In front of us were the "Games Club" - Keiichi, Rena, and the Sonozaki twins. The little members were absent. They had stopped as well.

Let's see how this first encounter with the whole of the SOS Brigade plays out.

I noticed that they were dressed... well, if formality was time, we were somewhere in the Renissance or the Enlightenment (or, in Haruhi's case, Mikuru's timezone), and they were back in the Han era. They were wearing T-shirts, sundresses, even a (stupid-looking - seriously, it looks like it clawed it's way out of the 80's and it needs to be kicked in the face and hurled back) vest. And then, there's two of us in kimonos and the other three in school uniforms.

The unanimous reaction between both groups?

Silence.

Haruhi was scowling with contempt at Shion, who was mirroring Haruhi's expression. The rest of the SOS Brigade (besides Nagato) were somewhat scared of the inevitable conflict, and stepped back. Rena also looked worried, as did Mion (although her concern seemed to be more for her sister than for anyone else). Keiichi just sort of gave us a dirty look.

Shion stepped forward, and the tension was building.

Shion and Haruhi glowered...

...and glowered...

...and glowered...

...and glowered (get on with it!)...

Until Haruhi ended the staredown by grasping Shion's shoulders and giving her a swift knee into Shion's groin.

In defiance to every single instance of the female body being hit in the "vital reigons" that I had ever seen, well, ever, Shion did not shrug it off, but instead crumpled as if she wasn't a girl at all. All of the men (and Mion) shuddered and crossed their legs.

Perfect way to start off the festival.

Haruhi was close - but not all the way there - to going over into one of her "psychotic" episodes.

"That... that is the very least that you deserve... for what you've done."

"Woah, woah, woah. Hold on." said Mion. "You got tased because you beat up Satoko-chan. You deserved that, at least."

"No, no... it's, well... it's worse than that."

"Is that why you have the bandages?"

"Well... I guess so..."

She loosened her bandage around the neck, letting out a thin stream of blood. She itched at the mark that was there. Keiichi shuddered at the mark. Rena suddenly had a knowing look.

"That looks so awful, so awful. Right?"

Haruhi nodded.

"Tell me..." said Rena.

She walked up to Haruhi and whispered something in her ear. It must have been something huge and horrible, because Haruhi's eyes went wide, and started trembling. She looked like she was going to wet herself.

"Wh-what are you..." said Haruhi.

"Don't worry. It's okay." said Rena. She seems so empathic and innocent and... well, nice right now.

"No. No, you're wrong."

"It's okay, it's okay. Rena knows what you're going through."

Haruhi suddenly shoved Rena down.

"Get away from me, you freak!"

And Haruhi bolted off.

I think that the situation could be best summed up by Koizumi's raised eyebrow, Asahina-san's scared expression, and the downed Ryuugu Rena.

"Yet another interesting reaction from Suzumiya-san."

Koizumi, the mass amounts of understatement coming out of your mouth makes me want to smack you.

Rena got up and dusted herself off.

"We apologize for the erratic behavior of Suzumiya-san." said Koizumi. "I understand that she might be coming off as a bit of a psychopath."

She always was a psychopath, you twit. Always will be, too, unless some massive event changes everything.

"What did you say to her?" said Asahina-san.

"Oh, well... I don't think she'd like it if I told you. She could get mad."

Right. Being on the recieving end of Haruhi's ire is rather unpleasant.

"Is that why you're hand's bandaged?"

"Yeah, sort of. Got hit with a nail."

"Sounds painful."

Rena seems, to me, to be not as bad as she first seemed. Something's in her eyes that says "Don't worry, don't worry. I won't hurt you." Even though there was that look on the first day here that suggested otherwise... but I digress. It's definitely a better reception than the look that Keiichi's (don't ask me why I'm using their first names, I just am. It sounds better than "Maebara" and "Ryuugu", anyhow) giving me.

"Well," said Koizumi, "I don't know what should be done at this moment. Should one of us go and comfort her, or shall we leave her to her own solo machinations?"

He somehow manages to talk to all of the group and only one person at the same time.

"Well, I think she should be left alone. Either way, I'm not talking to her."

Koizumi gave a look that was everything short of "wrong answer" and dumping me into the alligator pit. But he merely shrugged.

"Has your friend seen a doctor?" said Mion. "That bleeding looked really bad."

"Seen him? I think she might have broken his nose."

"She's not a people person, I take it?"

Saying that Haruhi isn't a people person is like saying that Nobunaga was a bit harsh.

At this point, Shion staggered back up.

"Owwwww... I-I didn't even think that that trick worked on girls..."

"I thought you transferred out of here?" said Asahina-san.

"Well, I'm just back in town for one day. You know, wouldn't miss the festival for the world and all that."

Sure. You're definitely at the bottom of the most trustworthy people in this town, after Takano, Keiichi, and Koizumi. Some sort of gambit is going through your head, I'm sure. Hell, with the tendencies you displayed yesterday (I'm nearly sure that Shion was disguising herself as Mion that day) and the day of the tasing, I'm staying away from you.

I noticed that Koizumi, Asahina-san, and Nagato had shifted to make me front and center. Gee, thanks. Have the guy with barely any people skills short of you three be up front.

Well, I have no idea what to say or do.

"Did you just arrive here?" said Keiichi.

We met you the second day we were here. What do you think?

"I meant here. At the festival."

"Oh, yeah." I said. "First thing we did was run into you guys."

"Awww." said Rena. "That's unfortunate. You must have gotten here late, then. The ceremony is going to start soon."

Yeah, that was Haruhi, 100%. If she didn't spend half an hour putting on that kimono, we'd have some time to enjoy it.

"Well, we probably should be heading to the complex, then." said Keiichi. He seems... distrustful of us, Nagato in particular. Eh, odds are he's just never seen anything like us. Hell, if I were him, I'd be distrustful of us, too, espescially that man with the wierd narration. Although... is Nagato really that unnatural-seeming?

"Yeah, we should." said Shion.

"Well, see ya." said Mion.

They walked off. Keichii's stare - or glare - lingered on Nagato before they walked off.

"Well, I would like to see the ceremony, and I am sure that Suzumiya-san would appreciate us taking notes. Shall we?" said Koizumi.

"That sounds like a good idea." said Asahina-san.

Well, odds are, the booths will be shut down during the ceremony. And the yes-man has a point about Haruhi. Sure, let's watch this thing.

We walked up to the shrine proper. Even though the show was going to start "soon", there actually weren't that many people congregating in front of the stage. We managed to find a very good spot, as well - there was a few people in front of us, but other than that, we were pretty much front and center.

We waited for about five minutes. Asahina-san's anticipation and awe were almost bursting out of her body. I have no clue what the heck is going to happen (judging from the name "Watanagashi", probably something with entrails. Or cotton.), but it'll be good.

Then, to the accompaniment of a ceremonial drum, Rika appeared.

She was dressed in hakama, and wielding a ritual hoe that was bigger than she was. That might sound like hyperbole, but Rika is tiny, and she was holding it upright. It had a bit less than a meter on her.

"Hauu!" said Rena, who somehow managed to end up right next to me without me noticing (par for the course), "Rika-chama's so cute! I want to take her home with me~!"

I've heard that phrase before, and from the context it was from, it's been ruined forever.

Rika had a serious look on her face. However, I could detect - ever so slightly - a little twinge of boredom. It's something you'd pick up after a few, um... after spending time with Nagato.

With ritualistic determination, she turned toward a matress placed on-stage (I'm still not discrediting the entrails theory until that thing gets cut open). And with an almost alarming amount of emotionlessness and what could be called apathy, she raised the hoe and dug it into the matress.

I made a mental note to not piss off Furude Rika in the future.

As she kept reducing the matress to a pile of stuffing, she kept doing pivots and other things for the ceremony. As she pivoted towards the audience, her eyes met mine. Okay, that sounds like a line from a bad romance novel, but it's the honest truth.

For a split second, her expression was one of shock. She gasped.

But then she turned back to the matress, not missing a beat. But that boredom was gone. She kept hitting the matress, but she seemed to punctuate her swings more than she was earlier.

Eventually, the matress was wrecked, and the ceremony was no more. Most of the other festival-goers were heading toward the river for the eponymous event.

"Kyon! C'mon! You gotta come see this!"

I, on the other hand, am not, but instead, I am now being dragged by Haruhi - who had only now decided to show up - and am being dragged into the forest against my will.

"What did you find this time?" I said.

"It's the coolest thing! It proves one of my theories about the town!"

You had theories? I thought you were just going between being lazy and being insane to pass the time while us field workers found all of the useful information.

"Of course I have theories. I also have facts to back them up with."

What sort of facts? I haven't seen or heard about you finding anything.

"Well, I found out that there was a dam being built here years ago."

Knew about it.

"When did _you_ find out?"

"When you were out cold."

"Oh. I guess you're right."

Well, what's the idea that this proves?

"That Hinamizawa has a dark and barbaric past, that's what!"

Like that wasn't obvious...

"Well, it had that..."

Haruhi trailed off. Her mental engine slowly ground to a halt.

"Is something wrong?"

"Nothing... I just... felt like that Sonozaki girl might have been following me, that's all."

Well, she'd definitely be the person to do that, but I don't see any sign of her.

"It's just that I ran into her and that Keiichi kid sneaking around earlier."

Well, just ignore it for now and let's go.

She started walking again. And stopped. Again. Haruhi, don't do this to me. I remember too damn well what you did on the first night here and I don't want any more life-threatening things to happen.

Haruhi looked annoyed at something.

"Um, what-" I almost said. But she shushed me.

"Leave me alone!" she shouted out of nowhere. "I don't even know who the heck we're disobeying!"

Haruhi, I think I know what the deal is with that, but could you be a bit quieter?

"And I'm not going to leave, so stop asking me to! The SOS Brigade is only leaving once we crack this mystery wide open!"

Haruhi, you're shouting to yourself.

"No, I'm not."

Seems that way to the uninformed.

"I'm shouting at that one spirit that I keep hearing."

"You're shouting at the voice in your head?"

"No, I- shut up! It's not my voice. And besides, Hinamizawa's making me go crazy."

It would take a blind, deaf, armless man with no nose to not notice.

"Fine." I said. "Just... be quiet, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Let's go. I think I hear footsteps."

We made our way to the destination with the smoothness and speed of a freight train powered with wet wood. Eventually, after much starting and stopping (again), we arrived at what I presume to be the location Haruhi wanted to show me. It looked like a rather large shed.

"Here it is."

"Well, what is it?"

"Tomitake said it was full of religous supplies. But I looked inside, and it's actually full of torture equipment!"

"You mean, like thumbscrews and racks and things like that?"

"I don't know, but it had a lot of spiky things and cleavers and chains and oh, it all just makes me so hot!"

"What?" Wait, Haruhi, please, tell me with all honesty that you aren't being turned on by torture equipment. I mean, while it makes sense for you to have a masochism fetish, if any, I didn't need to know.

"Well, you know what I mean."

I don't, nor do I want to.

"Well, go in! I already checked the place out earlier with Tomitake-san and Takano-san. It's perfectly safe."

I noticed that the door had a padlock on it. "Had" being the key word. It was opened and on the ground by the door. Is this even legal?

"Who cares? I didn't take the lock off. Now, go in."

Haruhi's turned into the demon on my shoulder. Come to think of it, I don't really have someone designated as an angel on my shoulder, either. Probably Asahina-san. Come to think of it, Asahina-san in an angel costume would definitely be something-

"Kyon! Stop thinking your perverted thoughts and go in! Not going in, on the other hand, is disobeying the direct order of a superior! And that is akin to treason!"

You've completely ruined the word "treason" for me over the past few days. That takes effort.

I slowly opened the door to the storage site.

The first thing that I noticed was the massive statue of Oyashiro-sama in the center of the room.

The second thing I noticed was that the walls were lined with what could be best described as torture equipment. I can't even recognize half of these things.

The third thing I noticed was... a flurry of footsteps... coming from behind me... getting quieter and quieter...

I turned around to catch a glimpse of Haruhi sprinting off.

Son of a bitch.

The storage facility (or whatever it is) looked... well, really large and really dark and really damn scary. What, with the fact that there could be a psychopath (or any other of Hinamizawa's local ominous archetypes) lurking in the places that I cannot see (which is a hell of a lot), the fact that my presence here seems really illegal, and a slight subconscious and completely unfounded fear of divine wrath, there's about a billion cues that say "leave!"

And yet... I didn't. My feet started to ease themselves closer and closer to the imposing (and rather androgynous, come to think of it) statue dominating the room. I reached my hand toward it, almost in a daze, and-

"You didn't leave."

I am thankful for the lack of witnesses in this shed. I will not detail what my reaction was, but, rest assured, it did not cause any autonomous bodily fuctions, I didn't damage anything (myself included), and I most certainly, definitely, did _not _scream like a little girl.

Gah, where did you even come from? I didn't hear you walk in, and Haruhi was ru- no, wait, I got it. Hinamizawa is one of those little backwards villages populated with ninjas. Is that it? I'll be sure to notify Haruhi immediately.

"Tell me," said Rika, emerging from the shadows behind the statue (which raises even more questions), and using her "normal" cutesy voice at the one time the deep scary voice would be more fitting.

"Tell you what?" I said.

"Why."

She had cut me off from leaving the facility.

"Why what?"

"Why you didn't leave."

Hell, _I_ don't even know the answer to that question.

"Why didn't you leave?"

"I... I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't go if Haruhi doesn't want me to."

"Then leave."

"Leaving would probably be as effective for me as it would be for you." That is, futile. And besides, I can't abandon Haruhi to run the Brigade into the ground and then the mantle below.

"You would rather follow a madwoman to your doom than survive?"

"Look, the two are mutually inclusive. If I left, she'd kill me." Probably last, after everyone else on Earth, but nevertheless.

"And you stayed... and... and..."

She clenched up. She was visibly trembling now.

"I just wanted you to do one thing... one little thing... for your own good... **and you! Don't! Listen!**"

Her outburst sent a large flock of crows cawing and flying.

"Be quiet! Someone's going to hear you!" I said.

She started laughing. She had a grin like cracked porcelain and she was... on the verge of tears. No, that's not creepy in the least, no sir.

"You are so naive, Kyon-kun." Her voice was cracking between the cutesy one and the creepy one. "So foolish. And do you know what? I'll like seeing how you'll end. How you'll die. Bludgeoned? Shot? Cut up into little pieces? Drowning? Suicide? Snuffed out like everyone else? So many possibilities, it's awesome."

Please be archaic at this moment, and not be enamored with the possibility of my death.

"Well, don't you already know?" I said. She laughed again.

"I don't. You're... you're an aberration to the cycle. Your whole group is. I don't know how you managed to ruin something doomed in the first place, but you did."

Okay, now you're giving in to your youth (assuming I can use that term) and having a hissy fit.

"Don't go asking me for help. Because I won't give you any."

She turned, started walking off, stopped, and looked at me.

"Oh, and tell the "demon-girl" that I say hello."

What? "Demon-girl"? Do you mean Haruhi? I'm confused.

She turned away and skipped off.

I decided that this night has been too damn confusing for me (that last line's going to have me up all night wondering what the hell the "demon-girl" is). I walked back to the camp. I was 100% lost, and it probably took over an hour, but I made my way there.

Everyone was there and sleeping. I decided to climb in my sleeping bag and go to bed without a fuss.

I really hate this town. It's creepy as it possibly can be, and what's more, there's everything to suggest that I cannot leave and will die a painful and unflattering death here.

God, the air even sounds like screaming. Let's get some rest and have the next chapter of this story pick up tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3: Fall From Grace

**The Cries of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**Chapter 3 - Fall From Grace**

The light of the sun doesn't shine on Hinamizawa.

That's because it's cut off from the rest of the world as I know it. There's still a big ball of helium and hydrogen lighting the sky that rises in the east and sets in the west at twenty-four hour intervals. It's just not my sun.

And besides, I like the metaphor.

It makes sense, seeing as Hinamizawa has it's roots founded on the dark cult of Oyashiro-sama (I'm pretty sure that the mattress is a representation of a corpse so as to not scar the little girl slicing it up) and it's full of psychopaths.

Well, it's been filled with at least one more psychopath a few days ago, anyways.

* * *

"Who do you trust?"

Koizumi had taken me down to a river behind the junkyard to skip rocks. Personally, I can't make a rock cross a body of water worth crap. This was 100% his idea.

"Well, that was out of left field." I said, despite expecting him to break out the philosophy sooner or later.

"I was just thinking about Suzumiya-san."

"Well... first off, what exactly do you mean when you say 'trust'?"

"Trust to be loyal. Trust with your life. Trust not to hurt you or let you fall to the enemy."

"Well, in that case, I trust Asahina-san."

If me and Asahina-san were trapped in a locked room with a gun and an intercom telling us to shoot the other, I'd even let her hold the gun while I tried to break the door down.

"Ah, now, we've reached a point where we differ."

"You don't trust her?"

"Not in the least. She's directly subservient to her superiors. And who knows what agenda they might have? If she was given the order to assassinate you if Suzumiya-san got out of hand, she wouldn't hesitate."

I can't picture Asahina-san blowing me away with a .45, sorry.

"Even so, she has her own agendas. Who's to say if they have our best interests in mind?"

"_Your_ best interests in mind. There's a world of difference."

"And that is?"

"You aren't me."

This seemed to completely stun Koizumi. She stopped skipping rocks and just looked at me.

"You have a very good point. I am not you. I might be able to cause a similar reaction, but it would not be the same."

That makes no sense. And don't try to turn me against the other Brigade members, because we have more than enough on out plate.

He smirked.

"Anyway, continue."

"Well, I trust Nagato."

"More or less than Asahina-san?"

More. Asahina-san might own a beauty that would deserve being stolen from Sparta to Troy, but Nagato would stand by me until I die. And even then, she'd stand by my body until continental drift puts Japan underground.

"You'd trust Nagato-san with your life?"

It worked in the past.

"I see. I trust her more than Asahina-san, but less than others. She's completely bound to the Integrated Data Thought-"

"Now that's a lie."

"Perhaps it is wrong, but if that's the case, it's ignorance, not a lack of honesty. And, even so, what if, say, Suzumiya-san ordered Nagato to kill you?"

"Don't ask that sort of thing."

"But it's a very real possibility. But, anyway, I'm digressing from my point."

He skipped a rock upstream in such a way as to make it curve and land on the same bank he was standing on.

"Well, do you trust me?"

I haven't started.

"Well, why not?"

"Hey, I didn't say if I did or didn't."

"Ah, but you thought it."

"Shut up. You can't read my mind."

As far as I know...

"Don't worry. Telepathy isn't part of the esper power set."

"Good."

"So, why don't you trust me?"

"Why would I? It's that smile, and that obvious act, and the way you act like you know everything."

And, really, if you wanted a list of why I don't trust Koizumi, we'd need .01 font.

He chuckled, obviously expecting that answer.

"And do you trust Suzumiya-san?"

"No."

Koizumi froze again.

"You... you don't?"

"Not lately."

"That... that's strange. I thought you did."

"_Did_ being the key word. Koizumi, I don't know if you've noticed, but she's nuts."

"I, well..."

You were expecting that I'd say that I trusted her, I take it.

"Well, yeah. Yes I was."

He stood back from the river and sighed.

"Hinamizawa has changed everything, hasn't it?"

See, now you're getting into the correct mindset.

There are two memories I will save of Hinamizawa. One of them is Asahina-san's eyes lighting up at the sight of the festival. The other is managing to shake up Koizumi.

"But, yet, she still trusts you."

"Really. How do you know that?"

"I asked."

Ah.

"Even after the quote-unquote treason?" I said.

"Suzumiya-san is nothing if not loyal. I feel that, even if she degenerates into a paranoid wreck, she'd still trust you. Partially because it's very possible that she'd wither and die if she believed otherwise."

"Well, it's one-sided, then."

"Do you believe, to use an extreme example, that she could try to kill you?"

"She stuck a nail through my hand. I don't doubt her of doing anything anymore."

I took off the bandage on my hand and tossed it away.

"Oh?" said Koizumi, noticing. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking this off. It's itchy and I like being able to have a full range of motion in my hand."

"But what if Suzumiya-san notices?"

"Well, I'll think about it when that happens."

Koizumi shrugged. "Suit yourself."

He grabbed a rock and threw it into the river.

"Well, anyway, paranoia is the reason I brought you here."

Whose paranoia? Mine, yours, or Haruhi's?

"Suzumiya-san's paranoia, to be precise."

Well, spit it out.

"What is paranoia? Tell me, in your own words."

You sound like either a teacher or a psychologist.

"Well," I said, "I'd say it's an irrational fear of persecution."

"An irrational fear of persecution..." said Koizumi, "Well, I personally would have said a mental illness in which a delusional belief is the sole or most prominent feature, typically including persecutory beliefs concerning a perceived threat towards oneself. But I think like your definition more."

You sound like you copied and pasted the description from Wikipedia.

"Anyway, if you are merely paranoid, for example, you believe people are after you. This is false, correct?"

I'd assume so, assuming it's definitely "merely".

"But these people who are after you _seem_ completely real. Right?"

Well, I haven't been afflicted with paranoia, so I wouldn't know. I'd assume so.

"Well, then. If they seem completely real, what if you combine that with the ability to alter reality to fit your perspective?"

"Meaning Haruhi?"

He nodded.

"There is a very real possibility that there are now conspiracies and machinations against Suzumiya-san. Perhaps they are a result of Suzumiya-san's subconscious. Perhaps they existed before we arrived, and they are focusing on Suzumiya-san because of her powers."

I'm confused again.

"Let me put it this way: Suzumiya-san thinks that people are after her and this town has dark secrets. Therefore, people are after her, and this town has dark secrets."

It's blatantly obvious that Hinamizawa was loaded with dark secrets from the-

"-point when she started believing that they were there."

Ah. Wait, this town's probably ancient! She can't retroactively change the past of an entire town and all it's occupants!

Can she?

"It's possible. Scale isn't much of a limit for her, anyway. And besides, that was only my first theory."

I have a feeling that if I said "Well, I don't want to hear the others", he'd ignore me. So I just nodded.

"The second theory is that this town, and all of the pathos present within, is completely legitimate."

I doubt it.

"It's my least plausible theory, I admit. But there are issues that throw off the other two theories, such as the enigma known as Furude-san."

Okay, I can let you get away with that bit of understatement because you weren't there when she was manic-depressive and drunk at the same time, or when she had a fit about me not leaving.

"And my third theory is that this town and all of it's occupants are merely creations of Suzumiya-san. A cast and stage for this story."

If _Hinamizawa_ was a film, it would need to be directed by Takashi Miike while he was drunk and in dire need of his next paycheck.

"These theories have myriads of evidence for each. But none of them take into account Suzumiya-san's... condition."

I can come up several much better ways to say that she's nuts.

"Yes. She still keeps her survival at top priority, and if this was a story, I'm sure she would want to be the last girl left who eventually triumphs."

If I was directing this, she'd be killed off after the black guy but before the nerd.

Hold on a second. Haruhi's depowered. I think I managed to render every one of your theories moot. Actually, it was two out of three, but I digress.

"Well, I have good news, then. I checked. Suzumiya-san is at a full orange. As far as practical concerns go, she's fundamentally the same as she always is."

I wouldn't be the first one to call that "good news."

"But at least it partially restores the status quo. Isn't that at least a bit reassuring?"

I guess you might have a point.

"Anyway, outside forces aren't the only ones that seem to be machinating against you. Betrayal by friends and compatriots is another major aspect."

You mean the SOS Brigade.

"Exactly."

Well, everyone here is either Haruhi's sycophant or smart enough to know that killing her is a dumb idea.

I'm getting the feeling that Koizumi's setting me up for something, either a jaw-dropping line or a similar action.

"But paranoia doesn't require motive, and I don't know if anyone could shrug off the will of Suzumiya-san."

You're saying that she could make us attack her.

"I am. However, I have good reason to believe that she thinks that you won't betray her. You have nothing to worry about."

I zoned out a bit, watching the river flow.

"And she still has her survival in mind. However, she could probably care less - at first - if another member of the SOS Brigade dies. And the rest of us aren't exempt from her guiles."

I could almost hear him smirking.

"And who better to be killed first than the one she trusts the most?"

I should have seen it coming.

I quickly turned, and grabbed Koizumi's arm, which was less than a decimeter from my head.

The bastard was going to beat my brains in with a rock.

"Well, I see that-"

I cut Koizumi-temee off by taking a page from Haruhi's book and nailing him with a knee to the crotch. He fell limp.

"Ow... well, I should have expected that. Of course, I am still rational enough to be aware of the consequences, both pseudocosmological and physical, of your death. I'm not that stupid."

"Then why the hell did you try to kill me?"

"I was showing that even fellow brigade members, myself included, cannot be trusted."

I'm _way_ ahead of you!

"If you trusted me any more, I would have knocked you out."

"If I trusted you any _less_, I would have beaten your head in and tossed you in the river."

Koizumi-temee smirked. Okay, the smirking's bugging me now. Cut it out.

At this point, Nagato decided to walk on stage. Nagato, as nice of a favor as it would be, don't kick his ass. Haruhi would notice.

"We are going to eat soon."

And she turned and walked away. I let Koizumi-temee down. For being kneed in the groin, he seemed to be recovering surprisingly quickly.

"So, have you learned not to trust your fellow members of the SOS Brigade?"

"I've learned not to trust _you_, that's for sure."

He got up, chuckling.

"Well, it's a start."

He kept chuckling all the way back to the junkyard.

Haruhi, Nagato, and Asahina-san had laid a tablecloth on the roof of the bus. Me and Koizumi sat down with them.

"So, what are we eating?"

The leftovers that we were eating since we got here have ran out, and (because Asahina-san was, and I apologize for using this term in regards to her, a bit naive in not realizing that the blue and green parts in the bread are not for flavoring) the sandwiches were out of the question.

"Well," said Haruhi, "our inevitable starvation has been held off for at least another day. In addition to sandwiches - don't worry, I cut out most of the mold -"

It looks like you cut out the rest of it as well.

"- we have -"

She revealed a bento box.

"-ohagi!"

Ohagi? Where did you find this? Did you knock someone down and rob them of dinner?

"What? No, don't be stupid. We're not at that point yet." said Haruhi.

"Ryuugu-san gave it to us." said Asahina-san.

"Yeah. You know, I wonder if it's poisoned or sabotaged in any way."

"She was going to give it to Keiichi-san, so I'd assume it's okay."

"Yeah, I guess you have a point. And, if there is, there's a whole new layer of this mystery exposed!"

She opened the box. There were five balls of ohagi, labeled "A" through "E".

"That's barely any..." said Haruhi. "Oh well, we each get one, then. Alphabetical order. Dig in."

I ate my ohagi (which was "E" - which doesn't say much for how Haruhi thinks of me). It's pretty good.

"Oh, yesterday, I swung by one of the local police stations to look at backstories. Turns out you're completely right about Satoko. And, it turns out, the abusive uncle returned a few days ago, then, well, _something_ happened to him the night _before_ the festival. It's got the police completely baffled!"

"Well, that's new news." said Koizumi. "What happened?"

I do believe it's called "Nagato Yuki". Quite powerful.

"Classified information, they said." said Haruhi. "That's complete crap! Who keeps all of their information classified, anyway?"

Asahina-san's face slowly started to match the color of her hair.

"I tried to look up the Sonozaki twins, and _all_ the information on them is classified, too!"

"That is quite unfortunate, Suzumiya-san."

"You got that right. Well, I have more theories, too, based on stuff I learned the day of the festival."

"Well, care to enlighten us?" said Koizumi.

"Well, I was talking with Takano and Tomitake. According to Takano, the citizens of this town have demon blood. Something about the ritual being to placate the demons or something."

The "demon blood" was accompanied by air-quotes.

"But personally, I think she was just telling horror stories. Although I did get it confirmed that the ceremony used to be cannibalistic."

"Did they eat the entrails?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think so."

Called it.

"But it's doubtful. Like I said, we need to be wary of bias. The only thing I can really trust from Takano-san is those notes."

But, really, with things like the "Hammer of Oyashiro-sama", you're buying that?

"Well, okay, that note might be a little bit, well, odd, but the other notes are legit."

"Isn't that the one with the bleeding maggots? That's stupid, is-"

Haruhi slammed her fist down on the "table". She was drifting into another psychopathic phase.

"It's... it's fine. There's, well, other things in there that are accurate."

"Is something wrong?" asked Asahina-san.

"No. Now, just... just eat."

I saw Koizumi and Asahina-san trade concerned glances to each other.

"You know, Suzumiya-san," said Koizumi, "I personally would have expected you to have jumped on the tales of demon blood and dark rituals. This is completely out of character for you."

"Well, you can blame the tasing, I guess. It really fu-"

Nagato suddenly went into a heavy coughing fit. Hold on, Nagato doesn't really do anything like cough, sneeze, gag, etc. That's not normal. Judging by Koizumi's look, he's confused as well.

"Is something wrong, Yuki-chan?" said Haruhi.

"I am fine."

Nagato swallowed (that made a sound like she was trying to swallow an entire egg), stood up and walked off.

"Well, that's somewhat concerning..." said Koizumi.

Haruhi nodded.

I looked in my ohagi to see if there was any impurities. I didn't see any.

"Hey, Kyon."

"Yes?"

She had a look that usually would accompany the pressing of a random button to see what it did.

"Your hand..."

Oh, that's not good. Okay, let's just think of something, and hope she loses interest...

"What about it?"

"Let me see it."

She grabbed it and yanked it up to her face for inspection.

"How could it..."

"Could you put my hand down?"

"Where's the hole?"

"I, well... I'm going to go check on Nagato, okay?"

And exit me, stage right.

Koizumi shot me a concerned look as I headed off to... wherever Nagato was.

After a few minutes of searching, I had found Nagato standing on a ridge east of the junkyard like she was waiting for some divine hand to grab her and whisk her away. It overlooked the whole town, and the view was, to put it lightly, breathtaking. You could see everywhere, from the school to the shrine.

"Hey."

"..."

"So, um, what was up with earlier? That wasn't really normal."

"..."

"Are you okay?"

"...anomaly."

"Hmm?"

"Anomaly was present in the rice ball."

I'm not quite sure what you mean by "anomaly"...

"There was an object concealed inside the rice ball, revealed upon consumption. It was placed with the intent to cause harm."

Harm?

"I am unharmed. The object was synthesized into carbon products and consumed. All blood flow has clotted."

"Well, what was it?"

"Allow me to desynthesize..."

A faint silver glow emitted from Nagato's mouth. She coughed again, reached into her mouth, and pulled out... a needle.

"No way!"

"Way."

"And that was in your food?"

"It was."

"And you just... well, ate it?"

"It was synthesized into carbohydrate products and digested."

"That's what I meant." Assuming I didn't misremember Biology.

"Then yes."

Why the hell is there a needle in your food anyway? Wasn't she going to give it to Keiichi? Would she really try to hurt her friend like that?

"Possible. The truth of the statement is also in question."

But the way I've seen it, the bond between the group is at an atomic level. Having the teenagers of Hinamizawa trying to kill each other is a bit strange.

"The presence of the anomaly could also have been caused by the machinations of Suzumiya-san."

But she wouldn't-if she _did_ do that, she would have put it in my food, not yours.

"It was a random event."

"So, everything's fine?"

"Yes."

That's good. I started heading back to camp.

"Who do you trust?"

Great, now she's asking about it. I stopped and looked at her. She seemed to have a... I guess maybe "concerned" or "pained" would fit as a description of her look.

"Well, I trust you. And I trust Asahina-san. The other two have tried to kill me."

"I would advise refreshing that list. Nobody is to be trusted. Errant behavior is present in... in all individuals here."

Okay, could someone tell the developer that this playtester thinks there are too many cryptic warnings in this game?

Asahina-san walked up to the ridge, looking like she had been forced to watch a cockfight against her will. I noticed, in the distance, I could - and had been - hearing something that also happened to sound like a cockfight.

"Um, I think that Suzumiya-san is a bit... well..."

"Well what?"

"Well, Koizumi-san tried to cover for you by saying that Suzumiya-san might have, um, been imagining things. She, uh, really didn't take it well. At all."

I could hear Haruhi shout "I hit him! I hit him!", which did a decrescendo into something between shrieking and whimpering.

Asahina-san walked back to the camp. Nagato started walking as well.

"Nagato?"

She stopped.

"Can you..."

Okay, this is a really stupid idea. But I'm getting the sense that Haruhi is fond of reapplication to marks that fade away.

"Can you... re-open the hole that Haruhi made?"

"The one three days ago?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"If I wasn't, I wouldn't have asked."

"Would you like to save your game?"

Well, that never hurts-wait, what did she just say?

"It was a joke."

Oh. Actually, that's almost funny.

"Regardless, storing a point in time to be re-accessed later would require abilities impossible in this space. It is outside of my jurisdiction."

She grasped the point where the nail was driven through. I felt a mild pain right in that area, sort of like if I bit my own tongue. She lifted her fingers to reveal the hole. It even seemed to have been healing over the past three days.

"There."

She walked back to camp. I followed.

Haruhi was huddled in the fetal position on the roof of the bus. Koizumi was standing over her. The look he gave me could give even Haruhi shame if it wasn't attached to his pretty face.

"Haruhi, are you-"

She struck out like a cobra and grabbed my arm.

"Where is the-oh... it's... it's right there."

She fell limp. I could see that her eyes were... well, it looked partially like they were bloodshot and partially like they were actually bleeding.

"Yes. You don't have to worry."

"I... Oh, Kyon, I think I might be going insane... I remember putting the hole in and it was gone and now it's... ugh..."

She grabbed my arm again. This time, it was more needy, like a desperate child.

"Kyon... don't leave me. Promise?"

"I promise. But we will leave Hinamizawa, right?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

"At... at the end of the month."

"That long?"

"We still have a mission, after all."

She crawled like a slug into the interior of the bus.

"Are you turning in early, Suzumiya-san?" said Koizumi.

"Yeah, yeah. Try to keep it down, okay?"

"I'll do my best."

I got off the bus. I decided to go Haruhi-watching. She shambled over to the corner, picked up the nail that went through my hand, and...

...okay, never mind Haruhi-watching. Ick.

"Kyon, you should probably stop watching."

Ah, Asahina-san. Such refreshing words from an equally refreshing soul.

"Um, can I speak to you?"

Go right ahead.

"In private?"

"Yeah, sure."

We walked. Asahina-san stopped at the ridge that me and Nagato were talking at. The sun was setting, and a wondrous breeze blew up from the valley below. Maybe Izumi Konata has a point (and yes, I've seen it. Haruhi made me). If there were places to trigger flags for dating sims, this would be a main scene.

"So, what do you want to talk to me about?" I said.

"Well, ummm..."

"Let me guess. You want to ask me who I trust?"

"No, but, now that you mention it, I would like to know if you trust Nagato-san."

"Of course. I'd definitely trust her to save my life."

"But what if she couldn't? What if... what if she was the one trying to kill you?"

"Why would she?"

"I don't know. But, if she did, well... you remember what happened with you and Asakura-san, right?"

Well, that mental image is going to haunt my dreams. Thanks. Wait, assuming you mean what I think, how do you know that?

"It's classified."

But Nagato isn't Asakura. She has no motive whatsoever.

"But, well... she's been acting really strange lately. Really harsh and scary."

I won't deny that. But don't worry. She's smart enough to know that killing me is off-limits.

"I wasn't really thinking about you..."

Such a fearful, solemn face on such a sweet figure. I _really_ hate to acknowledge the fact, but if anyone was to die, it would be this angel on Earth standing before me.

Nagato, I hope you know that killing Asahina-san would bring all the forces of Heaven, Hell, the cosmos, Hinamizawa, and Haruhi down on your head.

"Is that all?" I asked.

"Well... I have another question."

"Go ahead."

"Well, I think I've heard people say that it's much better to regret something you did, rather than regret something you didn't do. What do you think about that?"

I really haven't heard people say that. Wait, I've heard one person say that, and she tried to kill me. What do you mean?

"Well, there's a theory that, if Suzumiya-san dies, the powers could be transferred to another individual."

Have you been hanging around Koizumi in your spare time?

"A little bit. Well, there's still the barrier around this place. If you assume it's not gone - meaning the outside world, that is - and if you assume that Suzumiya-san can freely exit if she wanted to... but she doesn't."

But others would?

"Yes."

As strange and suicidal as the concept would be, you sound like you want to kill Haruhi.

"Well..."

Wait... you aren't.

"I... well... it'd certainly be better than waiting here, wouldn't it? She's really unstable, and with the rest of the town..."

That is... frankly, no.

"Why not? I don't like the plan, but... there aren't really any more options besides killing Suzumiya-san, is there. I mean, there could be only one death, instead of, say, four. Or five. Or any number of the locals."

Never, in all of my life, would I have expected the phrase "killing Suzumiya-san", especially in that context, to come out of Asahina-san's beautiful, tiny mouth.

Look... I hate to say this, but you're crazy. She's Suzumiya Haruhi! One, you'd have to kill her, pull it off, and then avoid all of the legal repercussions. Two, you're assuming that the energies from Haruhi would end up in someone else, probably me (and if they do, I would be happy to get out of here, so you have at least one point). Three, then you'd have to deal with others who would be very able to kick your ass, most likely Nagato, who would rather have Haruhi be living. And if you _do_ pull this off, you would have to explain it to your boss, not to mention just about everyone else. Is it worth it?

"I..."

Asahina didn't respond. She walked back to camp, leaving me on this vista with my back to the setting sun.

Nagato giving cryptic warnings. Asahina-san wanting to (I still can't believe that she said this) kill Haruhi. Koizumi trying to kill me.

What the hell is happening here?

When I went to sleep, I had a nightmare. I don't remember my dreams (and no, nighttime jaunts with Haruhi do not count in any way, shape, or form.), so I can't tell you what I saw. All I remember is the sound of Asahina-san screaming. The end of the month can't come soon enough.

* * *

I was awakened the day after by being shaken awake by a fervent Suzumiya Haruhi.

"Kyon! Kyon!"

Look, tell me what you're so distraught about and I'll help you.

"Mikuru-chan's gone!"

Now, that filled me with enough energy to rival Latin America's yearly exports of coffee.

"She's what?" I said.

"Gone! Disappeared without a trace! All her stuff is here, too!"

I sprang up. How could Asahina-san go missing? I know that Haruhi would never wish for her to go. Unless... no, that's a dumb idea.

"God, it's totally Oyashiro-sama's curse! Takano-san said that someone dies and someone disappears every festival!"

But you said yourself that that was all horror stories.

"That was in the past! Now, come on!"

Haruhi burst out of the bus. Koizumi appears to have been worked almost to a point of exhaustion.

"Okay, scan the perimeter. Koizumi, you can take a break now."

Koizumi seemed immensely relieved at this. He pulled out a bottle of water and started drinking.

"Where'd Yuki run off to? I really need her help!"

She pulled out a cell phone.

"I'm going to call her."

"Don't bother." I said. "There's no-"

Suddenly, to my surprise (and, judging by her raised eyebrow and his absolutely amazing spit take, to Haruhi's and Koizumi's as well.), Haruhi's phone rang. She raised the phone to her ear in the way most people would lift a live grenade.

"Hello? M-Mikuru-chan! There you are! We're scared half to death over here! Where are you? What? I don't care if your mom is on her deathbed! That's no excuse!"

Okay, if Asahina-san has a mother, she's not born yet. Hell, it'd probably be a while before her great-great-grandmother is even born. Actually, it'd be better to assign the number of "greats" to _n_ and leave it at that. Anyway, something's up.

"Wait, that probably _is_ an excuse! Who's captured you? Are they with you right now?"

"Look, can I speak with her?" I said.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Haruhi tossed me the phone.

"Asahina-san?"

"No, I'm not being- oh. Hello."

That... that's not right. Something in her voice is triggering every single flag that something is utterly _wrong_.

"A... Asahina-san?"

"Do not worry. I am fine." Her voice was slowly but steadily lowering in pitch, which is disturbing to so many extents that can't really be covered in text. "I am not talking with Suzumiya-san anymore. This is correct?"

"Um, yes?"

"Very well. This transmission is now... unnecessary."

_Boooop. Boooop. Boooop. Boooop._

That... was definitely creepy as hell. That last "unnecessary" didn't even sound like Asahina-san. It sounded almost alien.

"Kyon-kun? Are you okay? You look like someone died on the other end." said Haruhi.

"Yeah, I'm fine. She hung up."

"Well, that's interesting. Now, what were you saying?"

"...never mind."

I gave Haruhi her phone back.

"You know, I had no idea we had service here."

Neither did I.

"I, uh, well... I gotta go." said Haruhi. "I have to tend to my 'womanly needs'."

What could you ever mean by... um, if that's what I think it means, then why did you go to Hinamizawa now? It's not the most, to be frank, period-friendly place.

"Look, it's biological. I can't schedule my menstrual cycle around these trips, and I can't schedule the festival so that I can go during the best time."

Fine, just don't let me imagine the concept of you... oh, damn it.

She walked off toward the river.

Koizumi was somewhat frantically trying to make a call. To no avail.

And now, Nagato enters the scene. This is also the first time I've seen her wearing something other than her school uniform (a carmine blouse and a black skirt) since we arrived.

"Nagato, I think something is wrong." I said.

"Suzumiya-san has received a phone call from Asahina-san despite it being impossible in this space."

Well, that's rather specific, despite just walking in.

"It is possible to cause radio-frequency energy to be formed from a point-"

She held out her arm.

"-causing the formation of radio waves on a specific frequency."

Koizumi's phone promptly rang, which startled him enough to have him jump.

"This can be received and perceived by electronic systems as an incoming call."

But it wasn't a signal. It was an entire call. With Asahina-san (despite not being Asahina-san _at all_) talking and everything.

"I do not know. The call served to placate Suzumiya-san, at the very least."

I'm getting the feeling that I'm getting a low roll on a Bluff check, except for that I have no idea if it's even _possible_ for Nagato to lie. Especially to me.

"Well, do _you_ know what happened to Asahina-san?"

"...no."

She sat down, pulled out a book (some sort of satirical fantasy by some British guy), and started reading.

"Well, do you have any ideas on what happened?" I said.

"An extremely large number of possibilities could have occurred."

Such as?

"One with a high rate of probability is her having been abducted by the locals."

I pictured Asahina-san, chained up in a dank cellar with a knife and having a knife dug into her abdomen. Goddamnit, Nagato, don't give me nightmares!

"I must say, that is an interesting theory." said Koizumi.

"It is only highly probable. It is not what I personally believe."

And that is?

"Predictions state that the probability of her death neared 1 as the amount of time in Hinamizawa increased. Her death would have caused machinations and events to not occur in the future. The lack of these events has altered the timeframe into one in which Asahina-san does not exist."

"That... that makes no sense." I said. "Now, half of the time, the things you say don't make sense anyway, but that's just... well, it's stupid. If Asahina-san didn't do what she did, or will do, we wouldn't be here. Hell, if it wasn't for her, you might not even _exist_."

"...perhaps. But what has happened has happened. Regardless, we are here, and Asahina-san is not."

She set her book down and stood up.

"Do not mention any of this to Suzumiya-san. This situation is now not an issue."

Not an issue? Not an issue? It's an enormous issue! Even ignoring the fact that she's Asahina-san, she's a member of the SOS Brigade! She's a core facet of all of our lives. And you expect us to drop the issue?

"For now. Let all perceptions remain-"

That was cut off by a bloodcurdling scream from the river area.

I decided to dodge Koizumi making the situation even worse and went to see what the hell that was.

I found Haruhi in a semi-secluded spot in the bushes near the river.

"D-don't look at me!"

I then noticed that Haruhi was wearing a somewhat short skirt and no panties. I looked away, because a view of Haruhi's nethers, especially when bleeding, is near the bottom of the list of things I'd like to see.

"What's wrong?" I said.

"I... oh, god, don't get any closer. I'm not okay."

You don't even remotely sound like you're okay.

"I... the notes were right."

I noticed that Haruhi's bloody, used tampon had been tossed a good distance away into the grass.

"What do you mean by 'right'?"

"The... the bleeding maggots... the book said they were a hallucination... right?"

I didn't actually read the- oh my god.

"Teeming" and "infested" are not adjectives that I would use to describe a used tampon. But that thing was stuffed like a maggot-filled croquette.

"That... that's not a hallucination..."

"It-it's not? But people... they don't bleed maggots! They can't bleed maggots!"

I looked at Haruhi, who had managed to slip on a pair of panties in the meantime. The scene was better fitting for Inferno than a rural Japanese town.

The area around her was stained with maggot-laden blood. Maggots which were very much still alive and crawling around. Did I mention that some of these maggots are trying to get _back_ into her panties and the region beyond? I... god, Freud can go to hell. Actually, I think Kafka can go to hell, too.

We interrupt this story to allow your narrator the opportunity to run to the river and vomit.

After that, I went and sat down by a shaking, _very_ frightened Haruhi.

"You know... I... I sort of feel clean now."

Clean? You _bled maggots_. That's not clean in my book.

"But... they're out of me now."

"And they're trying to get back in."

She jumped up and started brushing the maggots off of her legs. I stopped her before she started pulling them out of her interior with her fingers.

"So, when did this start?"

"Well, the bleeding started a while ago. But the maggots started the day before the festival."

"Well, I think we should take you to a doctor, then."

"But the doctor..."

She trailed off, ran a finger across her neck (which also has maggots in it, crawling under her skin).

"Tomorrow. Okay?"

I nodded. She half-fell onto me, half-hugged me. I must say, having the high-and-mighty Suzumiya Haruhi reduced to a nearly childlike state, clinging to me for dear life, it's creepy.

"I... I think I might be cursed. I need to find a way to stop this. And I'm not going to go until it is."

"Why? I say we leave and never look back." After we tie up any loose ends involving the redhead of our group, of course.

"B-but Takano-san said that if you leave Hinamizawa, bad things happen... oh... oh no..."

"What?"

"I think I might have Oyashiro-sama's curse."

"What? No. From what I've heard, the curse is where one person dies and one person vanishes. And from what I've seen, you aren't either."

"Well, she mentioned... never mind. Don't tell anyone else about this, okay?"

Part of me wishes you didn't tell me. Although the other part thinks that it's a very good idea for you to tell someone. Keeping this a secret would only end badly.

She let me go and started washing the blood off her with a bottle of water.

"Why is this happening to me?"

"I don't know." I lied. "Just pretend it's not happening and maybe it'd go away."

"What kind of crap is that?"

I would reassure her at this point, but if I told her the logistics of why maggots in the bloodstream wouldn't work (Really, they'd starve unless they were actively eating you - which would kill you. They would also be unable to fit in the bloodstream and if they could, they'd still die and the bodies would cause clots. There's a whole load of problems present with the concept), but I was concerned that that would more likely than not cause her to realize that and have a stroke.

"It's the only idea I have."

I shrugged.

"Well... this is our little secret, okay?" said Haruhi. "Don't tell anyone. Not even the other members of the SOS Brigade."

"Why not?" Hell, Koizumi's probably eavesdropping on us right now.

"Because... this isn't something people should know. And besides, I'm sure that Koizumi and Nagato are hiding secrets about me."

I won't comment, but I will say that if you think they're hiding malicious secrets against you, don't.

"Well, could you go? I need to wipe up."

Quite gladly.

I headed back up to camp. I didn't even bother telling Koizumi what happened down there. It was pretty obvious from his expression that he had been eavesdropping.

Now, you might be wondering how Hinamizawa will be able to top getting Haruhi to bleed maggots in such a Freudian way. Personally, I was wondering the same thing.

Here. I'll show you.

* * *

It's evening now. Today is really going downhill. It started with Asahina-san disappearing the night before. Nagato said it's because she was erased by her future death causing a paradox, but the paradox caused by that makes me think that that's not right. What's more, Nagato wants us to completely drop the matter, which is suspicious as hell. But Haruhi thinks (as far as I know) that she went home to care for a dying mother, but I don't know if that's true.

That brings us to the next event of the day: Haruhi bleeding maggots. And yes, that includes in her period, too (and before you ask, yes, I'm dodging around saying any real term for feminine genitalia, and no, I'm going to keep it up). It turns out that Haruhi has been bleeding them for the past three or four days. How I didn't notice this, I don't know.

Now, I'm going to the store to pick up bread (for sandwiches), a few other things, and some needle and thread. Haruhi wanted me to get some razor blades, but I said it was too suspicious. Now that I think about it, considering that she was bleeding maggots out of a certain spot, I think that maybe the needle and thread isn't a good idea, either.

I parked my bike near a small shop, entered, grabbed a loaf of bread and a local newspaper, paid for it, and... the shopkeeper turned it down.

"I can't accept this."

"What? Why not?"

"I'm not allowed to accept fake money."

Fake money-oh, son of a... having it turn out I've been duped: another thing to add to the wonderful time we've been having in Hinamizawa.

"Fine, here." I said.

I took the note and gave him another one. The shopkeeper, an old balding man, laughed.

"That one's fake, too."

"You have got to be kidding me..."

I took the note and checked all the security measures. Crosshatching's good. Watermark's there. I'm pretty sure I can pick up a bit of that text you need blacklights to see.

"Looks real to me."

"It looks real to me, too. It's very convincing. But it's still fake."

"Look, just tell me how it's fake and we can reach an agreement."

"The date."

I looked at the date. Seems okay to me.

"Yes. But it's completely wrong. It's a future date."

"It said it was made in 1994."

"Exactly."

"I don't know if I was even _born_ when this note was made."

He raised an eyebrow, then laughed.

"Well, either you're think I'm senile or you're some sort of time-traveler. The date on this note is ten years in the future, at least."

Ten years in the future? Seriously, is this town stuck in...

Oh no.

"Well, what's the year, then?" It's more likely me than the other people here.

"The year? 1983."

Oh no.

No no no no no...

I looked at the newspaper I bought for conformation.

It's not helping.

I am twenty-seven years in the past.

Son of a bitch.

I have to tell Nagato. And Koizumi, I guess.

I dropped everything and burst out the door.

"Hey, you forgot your money!"

No time! I don't care, either. Future money, as has been demonstrated, is worthless.

I got on the bike, and started pedaling. And thinking.

Dear god, I'm way in the past. Well, not _too_ far, but still. Computers (as I know them) aren't around. Cell phones aren't around (that explains a lot). _I'm_ not even around. That's a bit hard to comprehend.

Hold on. How did we end up so far in the past? Isn't there a three-years ago limit? Is that not including Haruhi?

Yes, Haruhi. Haruhi and that damn bus and her damn powers and her damn ideas. Only she can maroon us in the past in a town like Hinamizawa.

More importantly, how the hell are we supposed to get back? Haruhi is clueless, Nagato's depowered (and while I use that term loosely, this is probably exactly what she can't do), and the resident time traveler's MIA.

It's actually pretty dark out now. Eh. As long as I stay on the path, I'll be fine.

You know, I would have liked a normal mystery at this point. None of this time travel or bleeding maggots or any other crap. Just a death, a killer, and a mystery. I'm going to blaspheme here a bit, but if that happened, I might not even (besides loads of grief) mind Asahina-san dying. Actually, that'd be impossible, come to think of it. Eh, I'd settle for Koizumi dying.

I know I've said this a lot lately, but I hate Hinamizawa. No, that's wrong. I hate everything _about_ Hinamizawa.

And then, something appeared out of nowhere and changed the story again.

This time, it was a person (giving further credibility to the theory that Hinamizawa is full of ninjas).

Note: Hitting someone with your bike sounds nothing like "zubaaaaan". It's more of a "clunk".

I managed to hit the person mainly with my torso. That meant I knocked the person over and landed (somehow) almost on top of them, while my bike landed off in the bushes.

Ow... that's really painful. Why does my chest feel like someone poured iodine in it?

I looked down.

There was a massive gash, stretching from above my navel to my chest.

And cue the pain.

Gahhhhhh... this really hurts. This makes the nail in the hand feel like a stubbed toe. Lucky for you, the events that follow are too interesting for me to stop the narration.

Okay, who did I just hit and how could I have been nearly disemboweled by doing so?

The other person rose, and there was a point that answered my question.

The point of a billhook.

Ryuugu Rena was standing above me, a distant smile on her face, and holding a billhook (that managed to glint _just right_ in the light of the setting sun) stained with blood.

My blood.

Yeah, assuming I don't become either a bloody smear or hopelessly insane in Hinamizawa, I'm never going to sleep again.

"Are... are you okay?" I asked.

She didn't respond. Her eyes seemed to have glassed over. It was like she was sleepwalking. Or possessed. Seriously, you, of all people, should react if a guy plows into you

She picked up her hat, dusted it off, put it on, and slowly walked off.

And I'm lying her in the dirt with a gash in my torso caused by hitting someone with a bike.

What the hell just happened?

More importantly, how will I explain this to Haruhi?

I got my bike out of the bushes, and walked back to camp.

I found Haruhi, Koizumi, and Nagato playing cards. Until they saw me, of course.

"Kyon!" shouted Haruhi, sprinting up to me, "there you are! Oh my god! What happened!"

"I crashed my bike. Can I get a bandage or something?"

"Of course."

Koizumi went and grabbed a first aid kit. Haruhi picked me up and set me on the bus.

"I have the first aid kit, Suzumiya-san, but there's no bandages in it." said Koizumi.

"Oh, I know where I put those. Be right back!"

She ran off. Koizumi started to try to strip me.

"Stop what you're doing right now or I'll stick a nail in your eyes." I said.

He stopped, and I finished what he was trying to do. Taking the shirt off made it hurt even more.

"So, you got that from a bike crash?" he asked, amused and suspicious all at once.

"I know that it looks bad, but I'm dead serious. If someone from this town cut me open, I'd definitely tell someone."

If it'd help bring... higher powers, shall we say, down on Hinamizawa, I'd do it.

"Well, that may be so, and I believe you, but I don't think that Suzumiya-san does."

Nagato kneeled in front of me and stuck her hands right into the gash. This feels really, really uncomfortable, not to mention it hurts like hell.

"Disinfecting."

She ran her hands up and down the wound. It felt like someone was pouring in rubbing alcohol. I screamed in pain.

"I am now reducing the neural feedback of your pain receptors to thirty percent."

The pain seemed to die down to what indeed seemed to be thirty percent of what it was. Even for the pain I got from merely falling off a bike.

"It was a full-body neutralization."

Certainly feels like it.

"I have something to tell you all." I said.

"..."

"We're in-"

Haruhi returned with a roll of bandages.

"I'm sorry that these are all the way over there. My neck just started bleeding even worse today."

True to her word, there were even more bandages on her neck.

She shoved Nagato out of the way and started bandaging me up.

"You know, Kyon, you actually look pretty decent without a shirt. I should have gotten you out of it more often. But with the giant gash and the scar that will form, I guess that's no go."

Just shut up and put these on.

"So, what happened? You look like you were attacked. Who got you?"

Look, I wasn't attacked, okay? I already said it was a bike crash.

She stopped for a second and shot me a look.

"You crashed your bike."

That's what I said.

She scowled and went back to bandaging.

"You can be honest with me, Kyon. I really don't appreciate it when you lie to me."

"I am being honest."

"But really, look at that! It's too clean to be a tree. What, did you buck yourself over a knife or something?"

Actually, I will point out that barbed wire would cause something like this if you got rubbed on it.

If I went and told her up front that I got cut on Rena's cleaver... billhook... thing, then she'd first tear into me for "lying", then go out and kill Rena.

I heard someone enter the compound and... speak of the devil.

It was Rena, standing on a hill of junk.

Holding a billhook stained with my blood.

You could see the lever in Haruhi's head click.

"**YOU WHORE!**"

Haruhi ran up to her and grabbed her by the collar.

"You attacked Kyon, didn't you?"

Rena didn't respond. All she was doing was looking at Haruhi and smiling. In fact, I can't tell from here, but she may be chuckling. Did you get a lobotomy in the past three days?

"Answer me!"

"Suzumiya-san!" said Koizumi, "Don't jump to conclusions!"

"Shut up, Koizumi, I know what I'm doing!"

Um, that might be true, but it's still wrong.

"The patterns present in the acid structures in organic cells coating the hooked instrument mostly match those recently archived during sanitation." said Nagato.

...wha?

Nagato looked at me.

"The blood on the billhook is yours."

"I knew it!" said Haruhi. "You attacked him! Admit it."

Okay, it's obvious that Rena's not going to do anything (seriously, you have a billhook! Use it!). I have to act. I don't care what happens.

I got up and ran forward to shove Haruhi off...

...and was pulled back. Goddamnit, Koizumi, you don't need to in... wait, you're not even up here. And Nagato's down there...

What the hell just pulled me?

"Admit it!"

Haruhi threw Rena down from the hill of junk she was standing on, then leapt down on her. Fortunately, having all 43-45 kg of Suzumiya Haruhi landing squarely on her torso was enough to snap Rena out of her trance.

"Wha...?"

"Why? Why did you attack him!"

"I-I..."

She tried to grab her billhook to defend herself (finally!). Haruhi noticed and responded by stomping on her hand. And twisting.

"I-I-I didn't do anything!"

"That's a lie!"

Haruhi grabbed Rena by the shoulders and slammed her into the ground.

"I-I'm sorry! I'm really sorry..."

"That's a lie too!"

She slammed her again. The three of us not being murderers or murdered could only watch.

"I... I'm sorry... I'm really sorry..."

"Shut up!"

Haruhi slammed her again.

"And you!"

Slam.

"Aren't!"

Slam.

"Sorry!"

And she slammed Rena down. I then noticed the blood pooling under her and something sticking up through her dress.

Rena weakly turned her head toward me. She smiled weakly.

"I... I'm very... sorry..."

And a last bit of blood bubbled out of her mouth before her eyes went dead again and her head slumped.

And just like that, Ryuugu Rena was dead.

Pardon my language, but the only applicable term I can think of is "holy shit".

Haruhi slowly, slowly ran down from a adrenaline-powered bloodlust to a daze.

"She... she..."

And here, I assume, is where she falls to her knees and says "My god, what have I done."

"She... she attacked Kyon..."

Or the flimsy self-justification. That works too.

"You... Suzumiya-san, you just..."

You broke Koizumi. I think that's a signal that you hit a new low.

"I know. I..."

She got off of Rena.

"Strip her down and dispose of the body. I'm gonna go lie down."

She entered the bus.

And I could hear her... is she crying? If so, then to hear Haruhi cry is a sound that can chill cayenne pepper.

And so it begins.

No. It began a while ago.

Here's where it all goes downhill.

* * *

"So, we are trapped back in time?"

Once again, me and Koizumi are hauling the limp figure of a teenage girl. Only this time, instead of dragging Haruhi's unconscious ass down a dusty country road, we are carrying Rena's bloody, battered, and very, _very_ dead body into the woods.

"Apparently, this is 1983."

"Hmm... this is interesting, especially in light of a newfound discovery by Nagato."

And that is?

"We've managed to find some hard evidence that we are in a metaphorical bubble."

Well, what's this evidence?

"If I tried to describe it to you, it would take hours upon hours just to explain the baseline mechanics. And you still wouldn't get it."

"Try me."

As of now, I completely regret saying that. I stopped him about the point where he said "variable molecular spin".

"Well, I _did_ give you fair warning." said Koizumi.

"Yeah, thanks a lot. Anyway, I assume this "bubble" is impenetrable?" I said.

"Most likely. The only plausible entity that could get us out of here will not turn it's attention here for another, oh, twenty-four years or so. Same for any other allies we have. With one exception."

Haruhi, I'm assuming?

"Yes. I assume that, if Suzumiya-san really, truly wants to leave, we can leave."

And what, exactly, makes you think that she'd really, truly want to leave? I can think of at least seven different reasons why she wouldn't want to leave, mostly involving what happened over the course of today.

"I... I don't know."

He dropped Rena's body.

"I really do hope that, among your many reasons why she wouldn't want to leave, there's at least one reason why she would."

And if there isn't a reason? Do you have a plan for that?

"None whatsoever."

He smiled. His smile looked like plastic. Well, it always has, but now it looks like partly-melted vinyl.

"There's one other thing." I said.

"Hmm?"

"I tried to stop Haruhi from killing her. But when I moved forward, something caught me."

"Well, I can assure you that it wasn't me."

"I noticed. But it... it was like some cosmic hand was holding me back from interfering."

"As if some force was... making sure... Suzumiya-san acted as she wanted... oh no."

Koizumi shuddered.

"Such a local, powerful effect..."

Koizumi was silent for a good while, then nodded to Nagato.

"What do you expect me to do?" said Nagato.

"I-what?"

Koizumi was completely caught off guard. Well, at least Cerebus Syndrome hasn't completely set in yet.

"I, regretfully, am not familiar with the disposal of dead bodies."

"Well, uh... can you remake the body if necessary?"

"Perhaps. Perhaps not."

"Well, um... make a hole. About six meters deep."

I could feel the ground under me shift. I just had enough time to move as what I'd estimate as a very large hunk of dirt rose into the air.

"Well, do you know any funeral rites?" asked Koizumi.

"I don't."

But if I did, I'd definitely perform them. Being tossed into a pit is not what Rena deserves. If it wasn't suicidal (and probably fatal to our one way out), I'd run the body however far it is to Rena's house and have them give it a proper funeral. The only reason why I haven't grabbed her billhook and killed Haruhi already is because I'm assuming the loop will at least give Rena another chance.

But, seeing as we have a body to bury, me and Koizumi pushed the body into the pit.

I hope that your next try ends better, Ryuugu Rena.

"I would have asked you to disintegrate the corpse, Nagato-san, but if Suzumiya-san needs to find it, it can't hurt to have it on hand."

Nagato dropped the earth. It fell with a massive, resonating thud. Subtle. She walked off.

"You know, us being in the past makes a lot of sense" said Koizumi. "It explains the lack of cell phone service, as well as a few other anachronisms that I've noticed."

He sat down on Rena's "grave".

"I have another theory. Feel like hearing it?"

Not especially, but sure.

"I will warn you ahead of time; it's somewhat alarming. It might disturb you."

If it's more of your rambling, it can't be that bad.

"Now, I'm sure that you remember when we were dragging Suzumiya-san's body back to camp the day after we arrived, right?"

I do.

"Do you remember what I was saying about Suzumiya-san and closed space?"

Something involving the end of the world. Standard discussion fare between the two of us.

"Actually, it was more about closed space - and the end of the world by association - has made a distinct _lack_ of an appearance. It still hasn't made an appearance. Right?"

I don't know. I can't sense these things.

"Well, what if closed space has been forming all along?"

Are you meaning-

"Yes. What if Hinamizawa is the only point in the entire remaining universe that still exists?"

Oh... oh my...

The way I see it, there are two sorts of horror: the primal, slasher-flick kind and the nihilistic, crush-your-soul kind. Hinamizawa is the former.

This? Very much the latter.

I couldn't quite focus on standing and I fell.

"See. I warned you that you might be disturbed."

Okay, read your damn script and say "Nah, just joking, that's not what I believe at all" like you always do.

"I will acknowledge that it's just a theory, but that's all. For once, I'm being honest with you."

I managed to pull myself up.

"So, we're stuck here in Hinamizawa permanently, even if Haruhi manages to have an out-of-left-field change of heart?" I said.

"Well, I was overexaggerating slightly when I said it was only Hinamizawa that was spared. And as far as I know, Nagato is working to see if she can restore it. But, honestly, I have no idea. I assume the only way out of here, short of waiting for twenty years, is death."

There has to be some way out of here. There always is.

"You could

"Any ideas?"

I thought for a good, long while.

"We ask the locals."

"I beg your pardon?"

"_Something's_ in Hinamizawa. It's making this barrier. It's powering the cycle of resurrection that this town's stuck in. It's stronger than Haruhi."

"Now, that's been disproven, but-"

"You've said yourself that there's a local entity more powerful than her. I'm presuming that this power is Oyashiro-sama."

"That's an interesting idea. But assuming that Oyashiro-sama is an actual entity and not merely a religious figurehead, and that it has this power, how do you plan on contacting it?"

"Well, there's this figure that Haruhi's been hearing and that Nagato has seen. I'm pretty sure that they're one and the same."

"And, if I recall correctly, it was stated to be a little girl. And you sound like you are saying that that figure is Oyashiro-sama."

Well, when you put it that way, it sounds silly.

"And Nagato-san can't hear this entity. And it wouldn't be plausible to have Suzumiya-san be used like that without her finding out about herself."

"Well, what do we have to lose?"

"Eh?"

"We're trapped. End of the line. Who cares if she knows reality is her plaything? Hell, come to think of it, it'd get us out of here faster."

"I, uh, well... I don't really know if she would appreciate us hiding such a large secret from her. The way I'd see it, as she is, she'd get really, really pissed."

Oh.

"Well, there's another idea I have." I said.

"What?"

"Well, if you want to talk to a god, if you can't get to him or her directly, go through the oracle. Of, if you don't have one, a priest."

"Meaning Furude-san, I assume."

"Yes."

"Perhaps."

He stood up.

"I would, however, advise against dealing with the locals directly unless they come to us."

Okay. Let's head back to camp. We probably will need to clean up the mess Haruhi left.

Which is exactly how this insane, insane day ended: me and Koizumi washing blood off of some metal junk.

* * *

That night, after not moving at all after we buried Rena (and she was wearing Rena's clothes - the whole situation was actually damn scary), Haruhi had disappeared during the night. For a few seconds, I thought that she might have vanished like Asahina-san had. But at least Haruhi has the decency to leave a note.

"I apologize for what happened yesterday. I'm going to check out some background medical information on Rena. BBL."

How early is it? I don't carry a watch and my phone's long dead, and I know I woke up late, but it's uncharacteristic for Haruhi to be up this early.

Wait, screw that. Any past knowledge of Haruhi's behavior, personality, or character can be safely flung out of the window.

In the meantime, I decided to play Go with Koizumi. For once, he didn't speak at all. And he wasn't half as good as he usually is. He's faltering; a slight hint of solace in this dark time.

A car pulled up to the junkyard. Most usually don't.

A man got out. I think it's the large man that I saw earlier when I was biking to Rika's house the day before the festival.

And, speaking of Rika, look who's sitting in the back seat of his car. Is that her father? No, I'm pretty sure her dad's dead. Who is this guy?

"Good morning!" said the man.

I expected Koizumi to rise and greet this man, but he didn't. I decided to stand and wave in his stead.

"It's interesting what you did with the junkyard, I must say. A little bit more and you can fortify an army in here."

Not my idea.

"Is Suzumiya Haruhi-san present?"

"No, she isn't. She's out at the moment."

This guy... I don't like him. I don't like his accent. He just feels... off.

"Well, that's unfortunate. Is the individual known as "Kyon" present?"

"Pleased to meet you." I said.

"I must say, that's an interesting nickname. Anyway, I'm Detective Ooishi."

Detective?

Oh, crap.

"Anyway, I'd like to ask you and another member of your brigade a couple of questions."

"Well, who do you want to question?"

"A Nagato Yuki-san."

Why would he want to talk to Nagato? She hasn't done anything, with an exception. As far as I know, you'd have no reason to question her.

Nagato stood up and walked to my side.

"Ah. Well, come with me to the car, then. It's air conditioned, at least."

Me and Nagato got in the car. It's not a patrol car or anything; just an average car. I was sitting in the middle. Rika was in full-blown innocent-little girl mode.

"I've heard quite a few things about the 'SOS Brigade'." said Ooishi. "Some of them are a bit more fanciful than others. Is it true that you're a band of time travelers?"

Well, to be technical, the true time traveler of the party has gone missing.

Ooishi laughed.

"I'm only joking. I'm pretty sure that's not true, regardless. Anyway, I have many questions, so I'll start small."

He passed back a photograph.

"Do you recognize this man?"

"Tomitake Jirou." said Nagato. So it is.

"So you've met him." said Ooishi.

"We have." I said. "Once. The day we got here. We ran into him and Takano on the way into town."

"And when did you get here?"

Let's see... there's yesterday's hubbub, the day before that, a rest day, the festival, then I got nailed, then the stop by the clinic, then the game/tasing, so... eight days? Son of a bitch, that's way too long to be spending in Hinamizawa.

"Did you see them any time after then?" said Ooishi.

"I ran into Takano two days later at the clinic, but other than that, I haven't seen them."

"I see. Well, Tomitake-san was found dead on the night of the festival on the road out of town. I assume you've heard about this."

"Actually, I haven't."

Although I _did_ hear screaming that night, come to think of it.

"Really? It only happened just up the road. Anyway, his death was a suicide by the looks of it, so I won't need to question you any further on it."

We passed the picture back.

"Now, you two know of Takano-san, correct?"

I nodded.

"Well, presumably, she is also dead."

Presumably?

"Well, it's interesting. We've found her corpse burned to a crisp inside a barrel in the mountains a good distance from Hinamizawa. Thing is, eyewitness reports say that she attended the festival around the same time as the time of death. Pretty strange, isn't it?"

I've seen far stranger.

"Perhaps that is Oyashiro-sama's curse. But I suppose that the SOS Brigade doesn't really believe in curses, do you?"

"Not especially."

"Between you and me, Kyon, I don't really believe in it, either, but the deaths don't really lie."

He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. I would comment on how it's bad to smoke in the presence of a small child, but I've seen her get drunk. She obviously doesn't care. Speaking of Rika, why is she here?

"Oh, she saw me, asked me where I was going, and wanted to tag along." said Ooishi.

"Nipaa~"

"Now, here's the matter that I wanted to discuss with you two. Do you recognize the man in this photograph?"

He handed me a photograph of a burly blonde man and a somewhat smutty-looking pink-haired girl. The man was ringing a bell, but the name escaped me. I handed the photograph to Nagato.

"Hojo Teppei."

Oh, of course. The guy that got his ass kicked (or maybe it was broken) by Nagato. How could I forget that? I assume that's what Ooishi wants to talk to Nagato about.

"Have you met this man before?" asked Ooishi.

"Once." said Nagato.

"I see. Well, I heard a pretty interesting story about something that happened between you and him, Nagato-san. I hope you can elaborate for me."

"You will have to explain. I am not aware of any actions of mine involving this man that would interest law enforcement."

"Well, we had a report that you and him got into a fight the day before the festival. Although, heh, judging by the report, it wasn't what I'd call a fight."

"And who reported this 'fight'?"

"This person wishes to remain anonymous."

Good for them. Although, if you want my input on this situation, I'm pretty sure the reportee is sitting next to me in a green sundress. Nagato's head pivoted to her left like a tank turret and fixed her gaze on Rika.

"Don't worry, it wasn't me, sir." said Rika.

Nagato looked back at Ooishi with an identical level of movement.

"Anyway, according to the eyewitness, you had thrown him into the wall and managed to hold him there."

"That is impossible. Being able to throw a man of his weight with enough force to lodge him into a wall would require a muscle density that is unfeasible for my mass."

Ooishi looked back at us, confused.

"I think she means that she isn't strong enough, sir." said Rika.

"Ah. Well, then, the eyewitness then said you did... _something_ to his hip."

"I did not."

"Interesting. I'll get to that point later."

He looked at me.

"Now, the witness apparently caught you being held at knifepoint before Nagato appeared on the scene. Looks like he got you pretty well."

"What, these? It's from a bike crash." Honest.

"Never would have guessed. Well, regardless, did he hold you at knifepoint?"

"No, he didn't."

That's... sorta the truth. He didn't really press the knife at me. Right? And why are you asking these questions?

"Do you know what happened to Hojo Teppei?"

"We do not."

"Well, we're not too sure what happened either. From what we gathered, he went home and took a bath. We came in approximately two hours later to find him boiled alive in his bath."

"Mii?"

For the first time, Rika had a layer of interest over the layer of childlike innocence.

"Boiled alive, sir?"

"Yup." said Ooishi. "The bathwater was at least 110°Celsius. Either someone messed with the plumbing to get the water that hot or added hot water to the tub from an outside source."

Or, there's a third option...

"It was not me." said Nagato, as an aside. If she even said it.

"Now, we conducted an autopsy on him. The cause of death was indeed the bath. However, the joint in his hip was completely shattered, which explains how he couldn't escape. And that has Dr. Irie completely stumped. It looks like it exploded from the inside. Didn't even break the skin."

"Are you implicating me?" said Nagato.

"It _would_ match up with the eyewitness evidence."

"The skin was unbroken. That would require a blunt instrument. Seeing as you only mentioned the hip, I will assume that there was no bruising. Therefore, a blunt instrument is not an option. You seem to be implicating that I used an alternate method."

"I never said that I-"

"You, or rather, your eyewitness, is saying that I threw Hojo Teppei into a wall, pinned him there, and shattered his hip in a method that would leave trained medical officials stumped. You seem to be implying that I have supernatural powers."

"Well, I have to admit, the physical evidence seems to be implying something along those lines."

"That is highly illogical."

Oh, wow, did she just say what I think she did? If Taniguchi is not cosmic dust or something along those lines, I owe him money now.

"Telekinesis and similar actions are impossible. I'm sure that jurors feel the same way as I do."

I think that's Nagato's analogue to a threat.

Ooishi picked up on it, and grabbed Nagato tightly by the shoulder.

"Listen, girl, I've heard-"

"Do not touch me."

Nagato grabbed Ooishi's arm, and extended her arm with all the vigor and force of a hydraulic lift. And the rather large detective buckled and twisted under it. I could hear a tiny something in his arm crackle.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow... look, I've heard so much about you. That you're some sort of 'demon-girl'. Don't even think of trying anything."

There's that phrase again. If you asked me, if Nagato was a demon or some other spirit, there's only one option, and that'd probably melt under the summer heat.

Nagato let go. I could see her eyebrows furrow a millimeter.

"Um, sir?" said Rika, "do you know who killed Teppei-san?"

"Actually," said Ooishi, "we do. It was his adopted niece, Hojo Satoko-san."

"W-what? That can't be true!"

"She freely admitted to doing so. She's already at the station for questioning."

"Satoko... Satoko could not do this to him."

Yeah, there goes the cutesy facade.

"Look, she admitted to doing so. If it turns out that she's wrong, she will be released."

"She... she _is_ wrong..."

Rika fell into a dark brooding.

"Well, let's move on, then." said Ooishi. "We also have found a body about a half of a kilometer away from the junkyard. The estimated time of death was near midnight on the day after the festival. She was sliced open from her crotch to her neck."

"Who was it?" I asked.

"We don't know. The person was decapitated."

I was going to ask if they did blood tests, but I'm not sure if they had those in 1983.

"However, if we had to go by the body type alone, we'd say that it's a teenage girl, about your age, maybe a bit older."

"Do you-"

For a second, I could almost think that that description and that date matched up just right with... something. Or someone. But all I can remember now is a sensation like someone was pressing their fingernail into the back of my brain, and then, there was a sort of a void.

"Hmm?" said Ooishi.

"Nevermind. I forgot what I was going to say. Is that all?"

"Well, I'd say so. Now, Nagato-san, I'd like you to stay and come with me. There's people at the police station that would like to ask you a few questions."

"Very well."

Me and Rika started to climb out of the car.

"Oh!" said Ooishi, "How could I have forgotten this? Ryuugu Rena vanished last night."

And there it is. The big one.

"Do you know what happened to her? I heard she comes by the junkyard often."

"Well, I hit her with my bike last night, but she didn't come around here."

"I see. Well, let me know if you find any more information on her. The whole village is pretty much in anarchy looking for her. Well, it was nice meeting with you."

Phew. That was extremely close to ending up badly. And by which, I mean with the death of a policeman.

Me and Rika got out of the car. Ooishi drove off, Nagato in tow.

Rika still looked like she was on the verge of either a scream, a bout of maniacal laughter, or cracking.

"You... you were lying... you know what happened to Rena. Don't you... sir?"

No trace of the cute voice whatsoever.

"Hey, look, to be fair, I tried to stop Haruhi, but-"

"You couldn't. And she killed Rena, didn't she?"

"...yeah. But-but look what Rena did to me."

I peeled back my jacket to completely reveal the bandages. She looked indifferent.

"You crashed your bike."

"Into- wait, how do you know that?"

"I saw it happen."

"...you're stalking me, aren't you. You probably watched Rena die, and you're just taunting me."

"No. Just because you're new and stupid and interesting doesn't mean you're the only group that needs watching."

"Look, I'm sorry about your friends. I mean, I'd be angry, too, if I found out that one of them's dead, and the other one's a-"

**"SATOKO DIDN'T KILL HIM!"**

I was wondering when you would scream. Just let me have a second while this deafness goes away.

"In all the times that her uncle has returned, she hasn't done anything to fight back. She's... she's too... too pathetic, to do so."

"But she admitted-"

"She's _wrong._ Her uncle... he demented her. She's sick, but he kept her from getting medicine. It has happened in the past, and it's happening now."

"What's going on?" said Koizumi. I'll bet he came running because of the scream.

"Oh, apparently, Satoko's uncle got boiled alive." I said.

"Boiled alive? That does sound like an awful way to die."

"It is. And-"

"-Satoko apparently killed him? I heard."

I think that everyone in Hinamizawa heard that. Hell, we should check the windows of the bus to make sure that Haruhi won't be sleeping on glass tonight.

"I wonder what motive she could have had?"

"She had no motive, because she didn't do it." said Rika.

I think you're going into denial.

"Hmmm..." said Koizumi, "Retribution, maybe? Has Satoko's uncle ever done any thing similar to that?"

"Not in this timeline. The only time something like that happened is... but she wouldn't... unless..."

And then, from the pit of her dark, hidden brooding emerged a dark, shiny grin.

"She... she remembered..."

And Rika burst into a fit of mania-filled, jubilant, and very creepy laughter.

"She remembered! She remembers! That's never happened, but it's happening now! Ahahahahaha!"

She hugged me, hugged Koizumi, and then ran off, still laughing.

Now, it's me and Koizumi's turns to blink and be confused.

"So, what was that about?" said Koizumi.

"Oh, he was asking about what happened to some guy. I don't think you know who it is."

"Perhaps. Did he say anything that could help us find Asahina-san?"

"I don't think so. You still think she could be out there?"

"I don't personally follow what Nagato-san says. It can't hurt to be sure."

While I think trying to find a sign of Asahina-san is a good idea, and very honorable of you (a trait I thought you lacked), going against Nagato is unwise. In fact, the only thing that's keeping me from ripping apart Hinamizawa looking for her is that the most powerful member of the party would object, and she's not really slow to act these days.

"...well, okay. I'm going to go and see the doctor."

"Why?"

I don't know if it'd be good or bad if it turned out that Koizumi was secretly violently ill.

"I..."

He sighed, seemingly tired of being so damn perfect.

"I'm trying to make things better."

And he walked off.

So, here's a recap. Haruhi is a murderer and insane, which is probably bad for the universe or what's left of it. Nagato's become some sort of fantastic liar/superpseudohonorable extremist. Asahina-san's gone. Koizumi's fraying. And me?

I'm stuck in Hinamizawa, in 1983, with everything I know and care for gone or cut off.

_Fuck._

* * *

As of right now, I am the only person in the camp. This status hasn't changed for an hour, give or take. Nagato Yuki is at the police station being questioned (I hope that's all that's going on there), Koizumi Itsuki has gone to the doctor (does he know that Takano's dead?) to do something that I doubt is purely medicinal, and Suzumiya Haruhi has mysteriously disappeared, although at least she left a note.

I spent the time telling people that come around that Rena hasn't been seen here and listening to the higurashi. You know what? I now officially hate them. Higurashi and cicadas in general are now so firmly ingrained with Hinamizawa in my head, if I ever get back home, I'm going to shut my windows at night and squish every cicada I see.

My solace was interrupted when a person of some note came in.

It was Keiichi.

Rena's best friend.

Crap.

"Hey."

He seemed tense, as if he was hiding something from me.

"Look, Rena's not here, if that's what you're asking."

"Well, it's not really that."

Then what the heck is it?

"Did you see her last night?"

"Well, I guess you could say I ran into her."

He clenched. Wait, that came out wrong.

"Thing is..." said Keiichi, "I saw her that night. She said she was heading to the junkyard. To talk to Haruhi or whatever her name is."

Well, was she acting like she had her soul drained?

"That's not important! Do you know what happened to her after you 'ran into her'?" His air quotes were so thick, they could be peeled out of his statement and used as slugs.

"Look, I don't know, she didn't come here."

"You're lying to me!"

"No, I am not."

"Something's off about you. You and the SOS Brigade."

"Actually, I am the most normal individual around."

Around the rest of the Brigade, but I digress.

Keiichi was really tense now. He looks like he's going to erupt any second.

"Shut up! What happened to Rena?"

"I don't-"

"That's a lie!"

That was when Maebara Keiichi revealed exactly what he was hiding from me.

By swinging it right at my head.

I barely managed to dodge the golf club. It shattered the window of the bus behind me.

"Woah, hey, wait a second! What the hell? Watch where you swing that thing!"

Why do I always say such stupid and cliche things whenever someone's trying to kill me?

He kept swinging, and I barely managed to dodge the second and third swings. I grabbed the first thing that was in reach to defend my self.

"Th-that's Rena's!"

That just so happens to be the billhook. Goddamnit, why couldn't it be a 2x4 or a hammer or a piece of junk or _anything?_ Why that?

Keiichi charged again, but I held the billhook up to block his blows. I hooked the head of the driver with the point of the billhook. I never thought that one of those talks through gritted teeth where the hero and his foe are clashing weapons, but I think that's what's going on here.

"You killed Rena, didn't you!"

"No, I didn't! I tried to stop Haruhi, but I couldn't actually-"

"Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up!"

There was a look in his eyes. I looked into his purple eyes and saw the same entity that tore Satoko apart and murdered Rena staring back at me.

That, unfortunately, distracted me long enough for him to step on my foot. That's not in any show I've seen. That got me to drop the billhook.

"Okay, at least give me a good reason for why you're killing me, then!"

"Shut up!"

I read a quote online about how "evil men gloat", while "a good man will kill you with hardly a word". Evidently, that didn't take into account a man in complete bestial rage.

He smashed the golf club into my leg. Thank Nagato for the pain nullification, but I still went down.

"You don't know how much you deserve this." said Keiichi.

Yeah, you're completely right.

Keiichi has reached the point where his rage is starting to spill over into his other emotions, mainly sadness. He was crying as he whacked me in the head. And kept hitting me. Okay, I'm bleeding really, really, badly now. And I think my skull is broken. But I feel totally conscious. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Hell, I think this might be the end of me.

Keiichi raised the club, ready to finish turning my head into salsa, and-

"Stop."

Keiichi looked away for a second. And then, there was a sound of shifting garbage and no Keiichi.

There was only Nagato.

Okay, I know that sooner or later, Nagato's not going to show up. And that will be very bad. But for now, she's like clockwork. I'm not complaining.

"Y-you! Demon-girl!" screamed Keiichi.

He charged at Nagato and swung right into her head. She didn't even flinch. He kept swinging.

"Die, you monster!" screamed Keiichi, still whacking away, "You don't belong in this world!"

Must... resist... reference...

With one last blow, Keiichi bent the club back upon Nagato's skull.

"Leave."

She looked like she merely had her hair ruffled. Keiichi promptly went flying backwards.

"Commencing termination internal script."

Keiichi responded by getting back up, hitting the bends out of the golf club, and charging at Nagato. He's nothing if not persistent, I'll give him that.

"What's going on?"

Haruhi had arrived. Her presence had caught Nagato off-guard. Well, actually, it was more of that she had to go into bookworm-mode. And that doesn't include being invincible. Keiichi hit her and Nagato went down.

"Yuki!"

And Haruhi... ran over to the bus and grabbed her makeshift crossbow.

Okay, really, what the hell. You go insane when someone walks into camp over a failed bit of logic, but you don't when some bastard's beating Nagato with a golf club?

"Drop the club or I'll shoot you!" shouted Haruhi

"You're the one that killed Rena!"

Okay, if it wasn't obvious that he has Haruhi's sickness (which I am going to dub "Hinamizawa Syndrome", because this whole town's nuts), I'd say he's just picking names out of a hat.

Keiichi stopped hitting Nagato and charged at Haruhi. Haruhi panicked and fired. Huh, apparently it can fire after all.

The pencil-and-razorblade arrow seemed to just barely scrape the side of his face. Damn, he deserves something much, much worse than a graze.

"GYYAAAH!"

Keiichi dropped the club and grabbed his face. I could see blood and... some sort of fluid oozing from between his fingers. Okay, I don't quite know if he deserved _that_.

I got up and started hobbling towards Nagato.

"Okay, fine, I admit it! But it was completely justified! She attacked Kyon!"

No! Bike crash! That's what happened! Really!

Keiichi seemed to be recovering really quickly from an impromptu ranged recreation of _Un Chein Andalou._ He picked up the billhook instead of his club.

As I got closer to Nagato, he lashed at me, catching the bandages and giving my chest gash a new buddy to cause me agony with. That finally pushed Haruhi to the psychotic point.

"You bastard! I'm so goddamn sick and tired of dealing with all these psychotic freaks!"

I would make several rather snarky hypocrisy-based comments right about now, but I'm getting a bit woozy and I probably should keep my mouth shut.

"I wish you would just... just...

He raised the billhook above my head, ready for the finisher.

"...just **DIE!**"

Okay, there's been a lot of moments that change everything, but this moment blows all of them out of the water.

Because right then, Keiichi's head exploded like a grenade went off in his face. Plumes of blood and fragments of brain and skull flew out like sparks from a bottle rocket. One of the plumes caught Koizumi (great arrival timing, by the way) right on the face.

Haruhi had asked him to die, and he died. I'd call that perfect cause and effect.

I was completely stunned by this. Nagato looked as surprised as I felt, and Koizumi even more so.

Haruhi looked the most shocked of all.

Slowly, her gape turned into a weak smile, and her stunned silence into a light chuckle. Then she fell to her knees and burst into the best and scariest evil, maniacal, psychotic laughter I have ever heard in my life.

"Ahehehahahahehahaha! Oyashiro-sama smiles upon me this day! Hahahahehahahahaha!"

The laughter of Suzumiya Haruhi echoed into the forming night.


	4. Chapter 4: Endgame

**The Cries of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**Chapter 4 - Endgame**

You've heard of that "for want of a nail" poem/narrative convention, right? Where one tiny change turns a situation completely on its head? I've been thinking a bit, and I think that's applicable here. But in this case, the nail is a pit.

If Nagato didn't fall into that pit, it wouldn't have triggered Haruhi's psychopathic episode, she would have left Satoko alone, and she wouldn't have gotten tased. If Satoko wasn't beat up, her uncle would never have came back. If he didn't come back, Nagato wouldn't have destroyed him. And that led to Keiichi getting paranoid (I'm 80% sure that he saw what happened), him attacking the camp, him promptly getting exploded, and Haruhi believing she's the Hammer of Oyashiro-sama.

Ah, yes, the Hammer of Oyashiro-sama. Haruhi's taken enough levels in Nutjob to get a class change. Now she believes that she's the avatar and divine wrath manifest of a blood god. And she has powers.

It's actually even worse than it sounds.

But, for now, she's been mostly flash and talk (although she did repair my head - and that was extremely wierd and unnecessarily unpleasant). She's not wanting to kill everyone in Hinamizawa.

...

Yet.

* * *

Remember how Haruhi promised me that we'll be out of Hinamizawa at the end of the month?

Yeah, that's not happening.

Haruhi, presumably, is not going anywhere. Thinking that you are tied to a local deity will do that to you.

"I..." said Koizumi.

He buried his head in his hands.

There's a storm rolling in. Me and Koizumi are taking advantage of one of Haruhi's unusually frequent absences to sit back and watch it. As for why I am hanging out with Koizumi, well, Nagato scares me and Asahina-san's still absent. And we ran out of books.

"You know, out of every theory I had - hell, that everyone at the Organization had, this wasn't on-"

"I know. Nobody in the world could possibly expect Haruhi to morph into a megalomaniacal psychopath. I know that's not part of your plans, so don't kick yourself for not preparing for it."

Wait, Haruhi's always been a megalomaniacal psychopath. Maybe "insane god-being" is more apt. Sounds pretentious, sure, but it beats "Hammer of Oyashiro-sama".

"It's just... well, we're fucked."

Okay, Koizumi just swore. His despair has crossed the line and went from humorous to horribly alarming.

"We're stuck in the past, with no way of getting out of here, and there's nothing we can do but die."

He buried his head in his hands again and started... crying.

I could sort of deal with Asahina-san's wish for murder, the murders themselves, Nagato's frightening change in demeanor, and the advent of the Hammer of Oyashiro-sama, but Koizumi crying over Haruhi's actions is really, scary. More of that nihilistic, soul-crushing fear is creeping in.

I smacked Koizumi on the back of the head.

"Cut that out. You being a Nietzsche wannabe is creeping me out. Just suck it up and act like you always have."

He took his head out of his hands, looked at me, and smiled weakly.

"I'll try my best, if you will."

Okay, I'm pretty sure that there's a layman or someone wondering why I haven't rallied the troops and burst out of Hinamizawa by now. My reasoning behind that is that Nagato has changed. She's cold. She's extreme. She's really, really scary. I've actually thought that she might just kill me to get a reaction out of Haruhi. And besides, she can't get out of here anyway.

He sighed.

"Do you think that you could try and-"

"-remedy it the same way as that incident? I'll pass."

I considered it after the festival, but I was too disgusted by the bleeding maggots to follow through. And I am never, ever, going to try that with the Hammer of Oyashiro-sama.

"And there's Asahina-san's idea." said Koizumi.

"She told you, huh?"

"Actually, it was as much of my idea as hers."

"Really."

Figured as much. Asahina-san isn't capable of malice against any living creature without external aid.

"Anyway," I said, "I think if we were ever going to actually do that, we missed our shot."

There's a line from Sun Tzu that'd be apt that I said to Haruhi on the first day here, but I forgot what it was.

"Oh, that reminds me. I don't know if it was always like this, or if it's Suzumiya-san's fault, but it turns out Oyashiro-sama is not our friend."

He pulled out some sort of horn from his pocket. I could see a bit of dried blood on the thick end.

"Nagato caught it spying on us."

"When was this?" I said.

"She told me and gave me this yesterday, but I don't know when she actually got it."

Well, it looks like this disproves... a hell of a lot. That "Hanyuu" figure can't be Oyashiro-sama, for one thing. Little girls, even little girl spirits, for the most part, don't have horns.

Koizumi shrugged.

"Storm's rolling in." he said.

"Yeah."

"Tell me, what does it look like to you?"

It's dark and it's completely covering the sky. I can't see shapes worth jack. Why are you asking me this? The last time you asked me for my opinion on something, I nearly got my head bashed in. By you.

"Well, at least I'm not complaining on the hopelessness of it all, right?"

You do have a point.

"Well, you see how the last of the daylight is shining through that tower of clouds, making them glow blue?"

Well, a little bit.

"And- ah, there, that lightning flash. Doesn't it almost make that spot look red?"

The afterimage is a bit crimson, yeah.

"Now, tell me. What do they look like to you?"

I looked closely at the massive, piling towers of cumulonimbus clouds.

"Shinjin. You're saying that they look like shinjin."

"I am."

"Well, now that you mention it, the resemblance is sort of uncanny."

A cloud crashed like a wave onto an invisible dome, breaking and rolling over it with a clap of thunder.

"They want to come in." said Koizumi. "This may very well be the last bastion of non-closed space in existence. But whatever is keeping us in is keeping them out."

Okay, either you can see something I can't, or you're being metaphorical. Although you acting like a know-it-all is reassuring in it's adherence to the status quo.

And then, I felt the quickly-becoming-familiar feeling of a massive, almost regal, and important figure near me. Couldn't think of a more grandiose way to let your presence be known, could you, Haruhi?

She had returned, and she apparently had ditched her standard attire for-oh, wow. I know it's bad convention to devote a paragraph to describing someone's attire (unless the narrator is deeply in love or the described party is one Asahina Mikuru), but this outfit needs it.

She was wearing mostly bandages. At least, I think they were bandages, because they were completely red and dripping. Haruhi apparently never got the memo that the human body only contains five liters or so of blood. The only not-bloodstained piece of clothing was the white part of her school uniform that she wore over it. She was even wearing a bedsheet or something that was also red. It looked overall like a swapped version of Rika's hakama. That's what this is, isn't it. An awful parody of hakama.

Koizumi promptly ran over to Haruhi and prostrated himself at her feet.

"Welcome, most excellent Haruhi-sama."

Okay, that's just sad.

"Thank you. Now, Kyon, look at this."

She tossed a sheet of paper at me.

"What's this?"

"Our presence is required."

"Required? Where?"

It can't be the police, or medical reasons, because Haruhi would blow them off. Or up.

"Diplomatic relations. While the message told me to come alone, you will accompany me."

"Who are we having diplomacy with, now?"

"The head of the Sonozaki family, one of the three main families of Hinamizawa."

And here it is. The moment where Hinamizawa finally rises up and throws the SOS Brigade out. Or kills us all. Either one works at this point.

"Oh, hush. They wouldn't kick me out. I'm the Hammer of Oyashiro-sama!"

She ran a fingernail along her forearm. It promptly started oozing blood and maggots.

"Ahh... oh dear, we're out of bandages."

She stared at the first aid kit, looking like she was threatening it into revealing more or regenerating the empty roll. But, to my suprise, it didn't. Haruhi just sighed, removed her headband, and used it as an impromptu bandage.

"By the way, Haruhi." I said.

"Hmmm?"

"It's the end of the month."

"What's your point?"

"You said that we were going to get out of Hinamizawa at the end of the month."

"Kyon-kun, it's not the end of the month. It's only June 30th."

That _is_ the end of the month. If we waited until tomorrow, it'd be the start of next month. Well, it never hurts to try.

"Well, let's not have them wait. The note said come when you can."

And she dragged me off.

As she meandered down the paths as if she lived here since she was born, I could hear her singing something.

"_Let us run away, let us run away, to this fate that this town holds in store for us. You know that I, am your flower of hell, forever. In this wonderful place! And I will bloom here, and I will bloom here, so embrace me, my lord, for I am always yours! And Oyashiro's hammer will go and spread your will once more..."_

Uh, yeah. It's weird, I know. It actually sounds like some sort of hopeful tune with tainted lyrics. But that's just what I can pick up from this snippet.

We eventually ended up in front of the gates to a massive estate. Seriously, I want a house like this one.

"Hey, Haruhi." I said.

"Sama."

"Huh?"

"Please call me Haruhi-sama. Or Suzumiya-sama, but we're already on a first-name basis."

Do you honestly expect me to call you that? Is a massive ego part of your brand-new powerset?

"I just want to be referred to as something that's worth my status."

"That's fine and good. But I won't refer to you as that."

She pouted. That's the first truly Haruhi-like action that I've seen since the day of the festival.

"Also, could you cut that presence stuff out?"

"Why should I?"

"Because... look, act normal. Just because you're some sort of avatar doesn't mean you can be a dick to your elders."

"And why not? I deserve a little respect, no?"

"No. They don't know you're the Hammer of Oyashiro-sama. They probably don't even know what it is."

"I see... so it's like having a secret identity?"

"Er... maybe."

Haruhi knocked once on the gate.

* * *

"Er, don't these things have buzzers?" I said.

"I don't know. I can't see any-"

Mion opened the gate, and looked down and up at Haruhi.

"One moment."

She moved out of sight. I could hear her cracking up. See, it's a completely ridiculous outfit. Although Mion's pretty much wearing Haruhi's garb at the moment, minus the red and with a side of cleavage.

"I apologize. Hello, Suzumiya-san."

"Hey, Mion. I'm here to talk with the head of your family. Where is he? Or she?"

"Well, Sonozaki Oryou is currently in no condition to have an attendance with others, and Sonozaki Akane is out on business. Therefore, next in line is Sonozaki Mion."

"Wait, so _you're_ the head of the Sonozaki family?"

"At the moment, yes."

Haruhi blinked for a second, then hastily bowed.

"My apologies, Sonozaki-sama."

I think that was supposed to be a joke. If it was, it was a really bad one. Mion laughed.

"-San will suffice."

Mion looked at me. Her eyes widened, and she blinked at me.

"Um, this is...?"

"Kyon." said Haruhi. "He is my page, for lack of a better word."

The sad thing is, she's only partially wrong.

"Ah, yes, I've met you before. Well, I only prepared for one guest, but I can adjust. Are you hungry?"

I wouldn't eat anything you'd serve to me even if I was.

"Well, I'll make do. Follow me."

She led us into the house proper, and into a dining room.

"Hold on for a moment. I'll get you two something to eat."

She left the room.

"Well, Kyon," said Haruhi, "I think I have a good grasp of my powerset."

I could have swore that I heard Mion screaming or throwing a hissy fit or something. It sounds pretty far away. How big _is_ this place?

"Powerset?" I said.

That'd be fantastic if you had a powerset. The odds of you inadvertently ending the world decrease tenfold.

"Well, I can explode heads, as you saw. I'll have to tone that down, because it's pretty suspicious. I can control my blood, there's telekinesis, I think I can-"

Mion returned with a tray. It had two bowls of miso soup, some cups, and a teakettle on it.

"I've already eaten today, so I won't have any." said Mion.

"I'll pass, too." I said. "For all I know, you've drugged the soup and poisoned the tea."

And besides, I think I smell something odd. It's making me nauseous.

Haruhi and Mion both laughed.

"Aw, come on, Kyon," said Haruhi, "at least have some tea."

Fine. But if I turn green, vomit up my kidneys, and die, it's your fault.

Mion laughed. She sounded like she was taking lessons from the late Takano, and poured the three of us some tea.

"So, Suzumiya-san, I must ask you this first; what is with the outfit?"

"Oh, this? These are bandages."

"Well, I can see that now. What happened?"

"Oh..."

Haruhi looked at me and smirked maliciously.

"I crashed my bike."

Oh, did you really have to go there?

"Well, it must've been quite the crash." said Mion.

"It was."

Seeing both Haruhi and Mion sitting at the same table, sipping tea, it's an interesting experience. It's like watching two Bond villains dining, trying to lure the other into a false sense of security.

"So, what did you bring me here for?" asked Haruhi.

"Well," said Mion, "I've heard stories about you. You are the leader of the SOS Brigade, correct?"

"I am."

"And you are camping out at the junkyard, correct?"

"Indeed."

Mion seemed to stare right into Haruhi's soul. Assuming she still had one, anyway.

"Have you heard of what happened to Maebara Keiichi and Ryuugu Rena?"

Haruhi seemed unfazed by the question.

"Oyashiro's wrath."

"You mean Oyashiro-sama's curse?"

"Perhaps."

"Ah, well, I thought that Oyashiro-sama's curse had already struck?"

"Well, then, you might be wrong when you meant the curse."

Mion laughed.

"I am not wrong. The curse has struck, but something else is striking Hinamizawa. Around twelve people have either died or disappeared. Do you know what happened?"

Haruhi chuckled. Wait, _**twelve? **_Last that I counted was seven! Is Haruhi clocking in overtime behind my back? (If you've done the math, you might have noticed that apparently only six people have died - Tomitake, Takano, Rena, Teppei, Keiichi, and that corpse without the head. Well, apparently, Dr. Irie overdosed on sleeping pills the same day that Keiichi died. Personally, I think he had the right idea.)

"Sonozaki-san, I do not."

Her tone implied that she may or may not have known, but she sure as hell wasn't telling Mion.

"I assume you _are_ aware of the power held by the head of the Sonozaki family?"

"Sonozaki-tan, I think that I have at least as much power over Hinamizawa as you do."

Mion burst into laughter. Her psychotic laugh rivaled Haruhi's in grandeur. She cleared her throat.

"I apologize for that. I just merely remembered humorous something that my sister said earlier. By the way, how is the soup?"

Haruhi took a sip of her soup. Mion was looking at Haruhi, as if she was waiting for some sort of cue.

"It's quite good, but it... it's not quite as good as it can be."

Seriously, what is that smell? It smells a bit like roadkill... Wait a second... oh, that's not a good smell. That's not a good smell at all.

"Good." said Mion.

She stood up.

"Now, Kyon, what was your first impression of me?"

That's the first time that she actually spoke to me.

"Well, you-"

"And please, I give you permission to be as frank as you want."

"You seemed like a nice, energetic, leader-type."

She chuckled.

"I should have rephrased that. Tonight, I mean, what is your impression of me?"

"Well, frankly, you seem a lot like a villain, and it felt like you were serving us poisoned soup so that we'd be easy to take down."

Hey, she gave me permission.

Mion laughed. It didn't sound like she was laughing at my deadpan wit.

"Oh, Kyon-kun," said Mion, "sometimes people get the wrong first impression about somebody from how they act. But every so often, they get the right impression, no matter how hard the other person tries to hide it. You are smarter than you seem, and I congratulate you for it."

Okay, it sounds really weird when you call me Kyon-kun and - wait, what did she just say?

"Ahhh..." said Haruhi, "there you are. Come and help me with this."

What?

"Draw the lines exactly the way I tell you to. Yes, I'm-"

And Haruhi was face-down in her soup.

Ah, so the soup was poisoned after all.

Wait, where did Mion go? Okay, this "Ninjamizawa" thing is really starting to piss me off. Seriously, she's as big as I am. Stop disappearing!

Woah, woah, woah. Wait. The doors are still shut. I know for a fact that she didn't open them. So, that means that she either vanished using actual supernatural means (while anything is possible these days, probably not), she ended up on the ceiling (a cursory glance reveals that that is not the case), or she's right behi-

* * *

The next... period of time was a groggy blur. Most of it was spent unconscious after being whacked in the back of the head with what was probably the tray, or seeing incoherent shapes until I was knocked out again.

Let's fast-forward until we get to a point where I'm coherent, shall we?

The first thing that I noticed was that I was unable to move and I couldn't quite feel the ground.

The second thing that I noticed was that my arms were chained to the ceiling, and my feet were chained to the floor. Well, that explains that.

The third thing was Haruhi, chained up in a similar way across from me.

The fourth thing was the myriads of torture equipment. There were chains. There were blades. There were winches and spikes and crushers and everything under the sun. It makes the shed me and Haruhi found on the day of the festival look harmless.

The fifth thing I noticed was that there was another person, directly to my left. He was a lot older than I was, and he was starting to rot.

And then it clicked inside my head.

I'm going to be tortured, probably to death.

Well, the jury's out on whether to call it a new low, because it has a lot to compare to. That doesn't mean that it won't hurt, though.

I could see a doorway if I turned my head to the right. There appeared to be a table in it with someone or something on it, and an older, familiar figure strapping it in. She walked up to me.

"Ah, Kyon-kun, you're awake."

Mion, please, it sounds really weird when you call me that.

"So, I assume you're going to torture me?" I said.

"Well, actually," said Mion, subtly revealing that she was holding a knife, "I was just planning on slitting your throat once Suzumiya wakes up. But now that you mention it, torturing you sounds like a great idea!"

I shouldn't have said that.

"No, no, I'm kidding. I was going to torture you anyway."

Well, that's reassuring. May I ask why?

"Why what?"

"Why you're going to torture me."

"You're not supposed to be here. I only asked for Suzumiya to come along. That's why I'm going to torture you first: so I can watch every little reaction she has to you bleeding to death."

So you're going to kill me to see how Haruhi reacts? Can't you think of something a little more original?

Mion kneeled before me and started taking off my shoe. It felt disturbingly intimate.

"What are you doing?" I said.

She just looked up, grinned, and started taking off the other shoe. Why is she even doing this? Is she planning on breaking my toes?

"Well... I just want to make sure that you're comfortable."

She laughed. It was almost sultry. If I survive, I'm making a laugh catalog for Hinamizawa.

I could feel her fingertips run up the inside of my leg and-no! Down! Do-oh, god damn it. This is exactly the wrong situation to be aroused in.

"So, Mion, why would you want to conduct 'diplomacy' with Haruhi?" I asked.

"Because, Kyon-kun, I know."

Know what? There's a hell of a lot of things that fall under that umbrella.

"She killed Rena. And Keiichi. That is... it's unforgivable!"

I could see something surface in her eyes. She has what Haruhi and Keiichi had. I can tell.

"Are you even Mion?"

"...am I? Perhaps... perhaps not... perhaps I am Sonozaki Mion. Perhaps I am something else."

"Perhaps you're Shion."

"Now, what makes you think that?"

"Shion's the unstable one. The one that's quick to act. She tased Haruhi, and she almost attacked Asahina-san. And there's one other thing that I noticed about her..."

"And what is that?" said Mion. Or actually, it could be Shion. Shmion? I don't know, she's Mion until further notice.

"...she loved Satoshi."

She stopped.

"Yes, she loved Satoshi. She attacked anyone who said bad things about Satoshi, or anything about Satoshi in general. And... and I don't think that Satoshi would like her torturing people."

Hey, I've seen people murder over far less information.

Mion paused for a few seconds, then burst into laughter.

"So? You don't know anything about Satoshi! Why do you think _I_ would give a damn about him? Fuck Satoshi! I could care less about him! In fact, if I saw Satoshi walk in here, right now, I'd torture and kill him, too!"

I heard an anguished shriek from deep in the bowels of this facility. Where am I, anyway?

"Oh, enough talk. I think I'll start with this," she pointed the knife at me, "and cut off your toes. Sound good?"

Look, I've had a nail driven through my hand, my skull fractured in several places with a golf club, and not one, but two gashes across my chest from a billhook. I've pretty much been enchanted with a permanent armor spell, to boot. You think that cutting off my toes would make me cry?

"Well, it'd look good in front of Suzumiya, right?"

I heard Haruhi sway and groan.

"Ah, speaking of which..." said Mion.

Mion walked over to Haruhi and slapped her across the face.

"Rise and shine, Suzumiya-san."

"Mmhrrr... where am I?"

She looked around, then glared at Mion.

"You bitch! Release me at once! That's an order!"

"Why would I? Don't worry. I'm not planning on killing you. There's a lot more that needs to be done first."

"You don't have the right to do this!"

"Really? Well, down here, you don't have the right to stop me."

"Really? Do you know who I am? What I've become? What's been given to me? **WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!**"

I... there's no words that can describe my reaction to that. There's a _gesture_, but my arms are bound.

Mion just laughed.

"Why, aren't you pretentious? You aren't anyone down here. And you won't be for much longer. Now..."

She walked over to me.

"You have a good view of your boyfriend, right?"

"He is not my boyfriend!" me and Haruhi shouted at the same time (although I actually shouted "She is not my girlfriend!"). Actually, it's this moment out of all of them that is making me regret starting up conversation with that odd girl that sat behind me named Suzumiya Haruhi.

"Well... I see that. Hmm, then you won't mind me doing _this_ to him, right?"

And she grabbed my crotch from behind. I yelped. Haruhi yelped too and tried to look away.

"Don't try, Suzumiya-san," said Mion. I could feel her middle and ring fingers directly... well, rubbing. "You'll still be able to hear it. Actually, I think I'll do something better. Hmm... I know we have leather straps, but a katana might be harder to find..."

I _really_ don't want to know what you can do with a katana and straps of leather, but if it's going to be sexual in nature, it's going to hurt like hell for sure.

"Hold on, I'm going to get Rika. I'm sure she'd love to watch You and Rika-chama were close, right, Kyon?"

In all honesty, I think Rika hates me.

Mion walked giddily into the next room. I noticed that Haruhi was at the breaking point if not far past it. She was muttering some sort of chant under her breath. I had no idea what she was saying, but "Oyashiro-sama" came up a lot. It started slow and methodical, but it increased pace and fervor. It quickly started sounding eerily like Nagato's magic technobabble.

I looked up and saw one of the chains holding Haruhi up pulling. Wait, it's pulling downward. But if it was going downward, shouldn't there be some slack in the-oh, god.

Haruhi was pulling the chain into her wrist.

I could see the links of chain slide under the bandages, loop around her arm, and eventually become absorbed near her shoulder. That's the third most disgusting and horrific thing that I've seen in Hinamizawa.

Haruhi gave the pulled chain a mighty yank. It broke loose from it's mountings and crashed to the floor.

I'd say that this is the only good whatsoever that's come out of her power-amplified lunacy.

That got Mion's attention. She came running out of the room as Haruhi finished pulling the last of the chain into her arm and started pulling in the other one. Mion just looked on in something that's a bit of awe, a bit of horror, and a bit of general "what the hell am I witnessing?"

"I... wha... what the hell are you doing?"

"Divine intervention."

Haruhi pulled her other chain free. Mion tried to stab Haruhi, but Haruhi grabbed her by the face (ouch) and tossed her backward. Then, Haruhi whipped the chain around, severing my chains from the ceiling. I fell.

I was, however, still tied to the ground and there's still manacles on my arms. Wait, how'd she get her manacles off, anyway? Did she absorb them, too?

Haruhi pulled back one of the bandages on her arm, and let out a stream of blood. It dripped down onto the chains and manacles holding her feet down. After a second, she simply stepped out of the manacles.

Then, like a slime mold in timelapse, the blood started advancing at me. It coated me and my chains, and, like a skeleton key, it unlocked my manacles as well. It also felt just as unpleasant as being groped by Mion.

Mion sprinted away into the other room. With a bit more tact/stealth, I did the same. Don't worry. I have something that resembles a plan.

I found Rika being restrained to a table inside the room. Mion was wisely more concerned with the megapotent psychopath in the next room. She was pulling an axe from the wall when I came in. She finished and looked at me.

We had a quick, silent conversation that ended in us pretty much agreeing to save me for later. And she ran into the next room.

"Sir? What's going on?" said Rika.

"Don't worry, I'll get you out of this."

I untied the restraints holding her to the table.

"Thanks, sir."

Um, you don't have to keep using that cutesy voice.

"Thank you. What's going on in there?"

Before I could respond, I had to quickly duck an axe that flew right above my head. Mion dashed into this room, grabbed a sickle from off of the wall, and ran into the next room.

"Hahahahahahaha!" said Haruhi. "Run, you coward! I don't blame you! You cannot escape Oyashiro-sama's wrath!"

"Oyashiro-sama's wrath?" said Rika.

"Oh, she just thinks that Oyashiro-sama went and turned her into a killing machine. And she sorta is."

It's... it's complicated.

"Well, right now, Oyashiro-sama really wants her to stop at the moment."

Hey, I'm the snark guy. Leave the deadpan jokes to me. Only thing keeping me from snapping, too.

"I'm being serious."

Well, I've given up on doubting things at the moment.

Haruhi ran into the room that me and Rika were currently in and stood on the table Rika was on. For the sake of her, we ran into the next room.

As we ran in, Rika just managed to barely stop in front of a swinging sickle, courtesy of Mion.

"Mi-chan! Don't you have bigger things to worry about?"

"Sorry, I thought you were her."

I looked back at Haruhi. She was standing perfectly still on the table, chanting like mad, with her head turned down and her eyes shut. However, every thing else pointy on the walls was breaking free of it's moorings and hovering around her.

"...what." said Rika. "How can she-"

"Don't question the logistics. Just hide."

She's... she's something else.

"I've noticed!" said Mion.

The room that we entered was large, cavernous, and lined with cells carved out of the rock. If Asahina-san was to be anywhere, she'd be here.

Asahina-san. Why the hell am I not searching for Asahina-san? Well, actually, I'm not searching right now because I'm more concerned with the murderous psychopath and Mion at the moment.

I heard a sound that sounded like the lovechild of a rush of wind through some sort of bladder and the clash of swords. I didn't get to see what it was, but I did see Rika's reaction. It was as if she was gazing into the maw of an eldritch abomination and it was sending out tentacles to eat her.

Haruhi then practically exploded into the room we were in, landing behind Rika. There was something interesting happening with her skin. I don't know if I could explain it, but it definitely tripped a mental flag.

"Alright, Sonozaki-temee, let's dance."

Round 1: Fight! Sorry, I really couldn't resist.

At first, the two kept trading blows; Haruhi with one of her arm-chains, and Mion with her sickle. Unless one of them would try something interesting, this fight isn't going anywhere.

"So, who do you think will win?" said Rika.

"What?"

"Haruhi or Mion."

"Is that all you can think of right now?"

Mion tried to grab Haruhi's hair. Haruhi countered it by tangling up Mion's arm with her chain and throwing her across the room.

"Look, this is new and entertaining."

"But they're going to kill each other!"

Not that the world would be worse off if one or the other was dead.

This time, Mion tried to bear-hug Haruhi. Haruhi countered that by having iron spikes pop out from under her skin like a bloody pincushion. Mion quickly aborted the bear-hug plan due to puncture wounds.

"Death and gore aren't new to me. But anyway, who do you think will win?"

"I'd have to say Haruhi."

"I see. And who do you _want_ to win?"

That's a really hard question. Despite the winner, they'd still try to kill Rika. And if Mion won, she'd kill me. Or would she? And she has the plus of being an ordinary human being...

And then, Mion got really, really lucky. One lucky swing of the sickle, and Haruhi's throat was slit. Her eyes went dead. Blood started pouring out with probably impossible force and stained the last bit of white clothing she had a deep vermilion.

Well, that went completely and utterly in the opposite direction than I expected.

Reveling in the glory of victory, Mion dropped the sickle and burst into triumphant laughter.

...and was promptly joined.

By Haruhi.

Mion stopped laughing at this point.

However, Haruhi's laughing seemed to be joined by more laughter from different voices. Haruhi's posture shifted. Her eyes... still looked dead.

"Ahahahahahaha! Enough of this!"

Oh my god, I think she's talking in the voices of Keiichi and Rena along with her own. And out of slashed vocal cords, too. Further proof that Haruhi could care less about logic, and the world doesn't care along with her.

"Come now, my scions! Let us show this heretic the true power of the Hammer of Oyashiro-sama!"

She seemed to be completely unfazed by the blood (and maggots) rapidly gushing out of her throat. In fact, she appeared to be shaping the blood with her hand, as if she was pouring it into a giant invisible bowl.

Mion's look of triumph quickly turned into absolute terror. Rika almost looked like she was going to vomit.

Haruhi's blood was congregating into a massive (I'd say about two to three meters wide) crimson, semi-opaque, maggot-laden sphere. She was guiding it around with a slight gesture of her hand.

She lifted the orb up, and then slammed it at the ground where Mion was standing. Mion dodged it, but it left a massive, blood-filled pit.

Okay, powerset or no powerset, Haruhi is still one scary, dangerous bitch.

"How stupid would you have to be, Mi-chan," said "Rena", "to go against the Hammer of Oyashiro-sama? I wonder, I wonder..."

"N-n-no!" shrieked Mion. "D-don't say that! You're not Rena! You're not Rena!"

"The 'Hammer of Oyashiro-sama'?" said Rika.

"Well, from what I've gathered, it's like some sort of divine wrath manifest bent on killing anyone that Oyashiro-sama wants." I said. Wait, you're the priestess of Oyashiro-sama. Wouldn't you know?

"I have never heard of this. Oyashiro-sama would never do or create anything like that. Oyashiro-sama doesn't want people to die."

From what I've heard, saying that Oyashiro-sama doesn't want people to die would be like Haruhi secretly wanting to sit down and have a normal life. But hey, straight from the horse's mouth.

Mion pulled out a taser (so is that like the Sonozaki family weapon or something?) and tried to tase Haruhi. Emphasis on "tried", because Haruhi then clenched her fist, and Mion's body slowed to a stop.

Hold on a second. Did she just take a page out of Asakura's book? Is there some sort of template for supernatural, overpowered killers?

"What the-" said Mion.

"Well, it looks like I have the power to manipulate other people's blood, too. I'll be taking that."

She plucked the taser from Mion's grasp.

"Hmmm... this gives me an idea." said Haruhi.

With one hand, she shoved Mion across the room and into the pit made earlier. She cast her hands downward, and the chains burst from her wrists and tunneled into the ground.

"Now, do you have any last words?"

The chains re-emerged at the pit, shooting with much less grace and much more gore into Mion's forearms. Mion had full control again, although the chains prevented her from moving. She definitely had that abject look of terror one would expect from being trapped waist-deep in a pit of blood by chains bored into your forearms with a supernatural psychopath crouching in front of you.

"Who... what the hell are you?" said Mion.

Haruhi smirked.

"Very good words, I'd say. I am the hammer of Oyashiro-sama."\

"Tha-"

Mion was promptly muffled. Actually, by the sounds she was making, it was more like she was either gagged or had her jaw forced shut.

"Uh uh uh! That's all you get."

Haruhi dangled the taser over the pit with the lightest touch. Mion was whimpering with a fervor that would be appropriate if she was about to be raped. I can't watch this.

I turned away, I heard the splash, and...

...

...

...nothing.

Mion's whimpers sounded jubilant. I decided to look again.

"I changed my mind." said Haruhi.

The chain holding down Mion's right arm released. Mion promptly grabbed the taser from out of the pit and tried to tase Haruhi. There was contact, and a zap, but Haruhi was unfazed.

"Nice try, Mion."

Great. For all we know, you just gave her electrical powers.

Haruhi stepped back.

"Now, turn that on, please."

Mion's expression pretty much said "why the hell would I do that?". However, you could see her thumb twitch slightly, and after a little bit, the taser was on. Mion's eyes went very wide.

"Very good. Now, put it down in the blood."

Mion started whimpering, and shaking her head. But her arm started shaking, and it slowly, slowly, _slowly_ started lowering.

I turned away again.

Mion's whimpering got louder and more desperate and more horrible-

-until there was a zap, then a longer zap, and then silence.

* * *

For the sake of your stomachs, I'll leave exactly what happened to Mion to your imaginations. Let's just say that her death was the most horrifying thing I've seen in Hinamizawa by a long shot and leave it at that.

"Well, that wasn't too hard." said Haruhi. Her menagerie of voices had now added Mion to the mix. Apparently, it's some sort of collage of everyone that she's killed. They're not even really in sync, either. She was transferring some of her leg bandages to her neck to stem the blood coming from her slashed jugular.

"Was all that really necessary?" I asked.

"Do not _ever_ question my actions, Kyon. You have no right. Besides, she was going to kill you, and probably me. Pre-emptive karma, delivered by yours truly."

And the weird thing is, she's right. As horribly wrong as that sounds, if anyone deserved to die, it would have been Mion.

"So, Keiichi, Rena, and Mion. I sort of sensed that those three had a sort of dynamic. So that's... fifty percent of the main cast. Not bad. Not bad at all."

"Kei... you killed Keiichi?" said Rika.

"Yes, yes, I did. I admit it. It was the manifestation of the Hammer of Oyashiro-sama in the person known as Suzumiya Haruhi."

"She blew his head open like..." I said. Shoot, the best thing I could use to describe it is both an American movie and I don't even know if it exists yet. "It was like if she stuck a grenade in his mouth. And she didn't even touch the guy."

"Why?" said Rika.

"He attacked Yuki and Kyon with a golf club." said Haruhi.

Rika blinked.

"Golf... club? I haven't ever seen Keiichi use a golf club to attack people. He uses a baseball bat. He always has."

Well, I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard for him to press down on the character select screen for his alternate weapon.

Haruhi finished bandaging her neck and turned her attention to the cells.

"Let's see what's in here. Who knows what we'd find? Maybe even Asahina-san."

Good to see that you still care.

She started opening the cells, one by one.

"You... you killed Kei-chan? And... and Rena-chan?" said a voice from one of the cells. "Why?"

Haruhi walked over to the cell the voice came from, opened it, and smirked.

"Ah, hello, Shion."

Okay, I swore that her Mion voice called her "sis" instead.

"No, I... oh no." said Shion.

Haruhi chuckled, pulled off some of the bandages around her neck, and showed it to Shion.

"You see this? You see my scions?"

Don't call that maggot colony infesting your flesh your scions, please.

"You did this. Your sister? Keiichi and Rena? _Me?_ Those are the seeds that _you_ have sown."

"No, please, that wasn't-"

"And for this, I deserve to repay you. As you deserve."

Suddenly, Haruhi rushed into the cell. There was a sound of movement, then Shion screamed, and there was a haunting, increasingly distant and increasingly messy series of thuds.

"Well, there was a pit back there. Who knew?" said Haruhi. Yep, I think I can hear the other Sonozaki in her speech.

"What was that for?" I said. Are you just going to kill off any witness to your slaughter?

"What did I say about questioning my motives, Kyon?"

"That I shouldn't?"

"Good boy. Anyway, I was just giving her what she deserved for tasing me, that's all."

"You were beating up a little girl. That was what got you tased, Suzumiya-san, and that was justified. Killing her here wasn't."

Okay, how can so much guts be contained in the body of such a little girl? Furude Rika, I thank you.

"Oh? And what right do you have to talk back to me? I am Oyashiro-sama manifest. You know that, right?"

Rika did one thing that I wasn't expecting. She burst into laughter.

"Are you serious? If anyone is Oyashiro-sama manifest, it would be me."

"Silence! **I** am the hammer of Oyashiro-sama!"

"Well, I am Oyashiro-sama's reincarnation. I am directly tied to it and she is tied to me."

She?

Haruhi burst into laughter.

"You're just trying to bluff me! Silly girl! Do you... wait..."

She held up her hand. There was a good five seconds or so where nothing happened at all. Then with a speed that would make a puff adder envious, she lashed out with one of her chains at... thin air. Huh?

However, despite it not even hitting her, Rika recoiled. She looked absolutely aghast. I could see a slight bruise form in a line across her face, a little blood vessel popped in her eye. But other than that, she looked fine.

"You... what did you just do?" said Rika.

"So I hit that damn spirit?" said Haruhi.

"Yes! And that-"

"Good! About damn time that she shut up. What does she think she is, my conscience? Just 'au, au, au' this and 'stop it!' that. The only one I listen to is Oyashiro-sama himself!"

"That... that _was_ Oyashiro-sama!"

Haruhi's split-second expression matched my thought at that moment. It was "what." Haruhi quickly shook it off, going back into her mania... but at least one of the voices sounded _really_ pissed.

"That is blasphemy! And from you, of all people! You know what? Let's make it five out of six, shall we?"

I have absolutely no idea why exactly I did this, but I stepped in between Haruhi and Rika. I'll just blame it on some sort of admiration and paternal instinct cocktail and leave it at that.

"Kyon, move."

"No."

"W... what?"

Her other voices were gone. I could see life and a hint of tears return to her eyes. I half-expected her to choke a bit on her slit throat. I think I've put a nice crack in her mad god delusions.

Wait a minute. As good and kind as this act of heroism sounds on paper for getting her to back off, it's also a good way to get her to raise the death count for today to four.

"Kyon, what are you doing?" said Haruhi.

"You won't kill her. She's a child, for god's sake!" I said.

"So? Why not? Why can't I kill her?"

"Because you'd have to go through me, first."

No, I don't want to do that. Why did I just say that?

"Look, Kyon, ignoring everything else, I'm you're Brigade leader! You have to obey me!"

Quite gladly.

"No." I said.

Wait, what?

"You're my Brigade leader?" I said. "No, you're not. You're not the head of the SOS Brigade. Hell, you're barely Suzumiya Haruhi! You're the goddamn Hammer of Oyashiro-sama. That's what you've been saying, right?"

"I-I am Haruhi! I'm still really the-"

"That's a lie! You're not Haruhi. You're not human. Haruhi's been torn out of you, drained out of you into some bloody pit."

"You..." said Haruhi. And the voices, the dead eyes, the Hammer is back. "You cannot betray me like this."

"I can if I want to."

No! I don't! I really don't! Oh, god, I'm betraying Haruhi and I must scream.

"Really? Who do you think you are?" said Haruhi.

"Me? I _know_ who I am. I am John Smith."

Wait, what? What? What did I just say?

Oh, man, I really just said that. "I am John Smith". The big one. I remember using those four words as blackmail for something that was nearly deitical in power and I just used them now. How will Haruhi react to that?

At first, she didn't. She tilted her head. Then she tilted her head the other way. Then she tilted it again. She furrowed her brow.

"_...what the fuck does that have to do with anything?_ It doesn't even make sense! You don't even know who that is! Stop saying that bullshit!"

I was then lifted out of the way, stiff as a board, and set down a few meters to my right. It was like I was cut and pasted from my original position.

"Now... where was I?"

And then, there was footsteps in the room next door.

"Rika-chan? Are you in here?"

I had consigned her to the zone of characters who had done their role for the plot and were gone for the rest of it. Out of all the living people I've met in Hinamizawa, she's the last one I expected to see.

"Satoko?" said Rika.

Hojo Satoko entered the room we were in, and stopped. She looked a bit better than how she was doing the last time that I saw her, but the look of abject terror on her face sort of ruined the image.

She looked at Rika. Then at Haruhi. Then at me. Then at Mion's corpse, then at Haruhi, then at Mion's corpse again, and then she screamed.

"Ah, Satoko-chan. It's so good to see you again." said Haruhi.

She started walking toward Satoko. Satoko stared in horror, turned to run, and stumbled. Then she looked back up at Haruhi and promptly wet herself.

Rika quickly moved herself up to Satoko, clutching her tightly and blocking her from Haruhi.

"I won't let you treat Satoko like this. Me, yes, but not Satoko. She's had really awful things happen to her that you don't even know about! You don't need to make things worse."

Haruhi laughed again. I could have sworn that I saw her eyes regain some life. Not Haruhi's life, though...

"I know exactly what she's done! You damn brat!"

Haruhi slapped the air. Satoko promptly recoiled as if she was hit directly.

"You can't help her! Don't bother."

Satoko started crying.

"Nii-nii! Where are you, nii-nii!"

Oh, god, why do you have to do this again?

Haruhi lifted her foot up off the ground, and there was a meaty crunch as a metal spike emerged from her heel like an improvised stiletto. She started digging her heel into the ground like there was an invisible voodoo doll underfoot. A spot on Satoko's side quickly imploded and started gushing blood.

"If you wanna cry, fine! Keep on crying." For once, it sounded like Haruhi's voice wasn't the loudest in the choir. "But it still isn't gonna change anything! Why are you such a baby? Do you really think someone's gonna save you everytime you shed a tear? Did you ever think how these have vexed the people who help you? Don't you get it? This is your fault. You don't deserve to breathe the same air with us. If you are miserable, then die! Don't drag Satoshi down with you!"

Hold on. I don't remember her knowing who Satoshi is.

I got the sudden feeling that I was watching a past event that neither me nor Haruhi was ever part of.

"Haruhi! Stop it!" said Rika.

"Haruhi? I'm not Haruhi! Didn't you hear him say so?"

"Fine, then!" said Rika. "Suzumiya-san! Vassal or whatever of Oyashiro-sama! Shion! Whoever you are, stop!"

When Rika called Haruhi "Shion", she stopped for a split-second and looked at Rika.

"Yes, if you're someone else, if you're not Haruhi, then remember what _he_ said!"

Haruhi's eyes went wide after a few seconds.

"Oh, my god." Okay, that's the repentant tone you should have had after you killed an innocent young girl four days ago. "You're... you're right." And it's gone.

She turned away from Satoko, and retracted her heel-spike. Then she started clawing away a good portion of her left temple. Blood quickly started spurting out. She watched the maggoty blood flow from her head and grinned.

"May Oyashiro-sama himself damn you, Furude." said Haruhi. Just Haruhi. "You've riled my kills. I am not functioning well enough as a purgatory for them. They're interfering with my thought process. I had to let them go. But I'll tell you this. I will spare you and your friend from death tonight. Mercy towards my high priestess, you see? But after that, if I see you, you're mine. Understand?"

I don't. Are you saying that you had Rena and Keiichi and the Sonozaki twins were being captured inside your head? That's... sort of odd.

Rika looked at her and smiled.

"I understand."

She looked at the still shaken Satoko.

"What on earth are you down here for, Satoko-chan?"

Satoko looked at her weakly.

"There's people... looking for you... men... they're waiting outside..."

Rika looked grim.

"Even with everything thrown into such a loop as it happens, they are still a constant. How did they know I was here?"

"They followed me here."

"And how did _you_ know I was here?"

"I... I don't know... just a hunch."

"Who are these men?" asked Haruhi.

"The Yamainu. Don't worry. They have no interest in you."

She let go of Satoko.

"Satoko, hide in one of those cells, and don't come out until I tell you to."

Satoko nodded and crawled into a cell. Wait, I think that was the one that Shion was in. I hope she doesn't look down...

Rika pointed to one of the unopened cells.

"There's a secret passage. It leads outside. Go."

"What will you do?" I said.

"Mii?"

She looked at Mion's corpse.

"I'll hope that Oyashiro-sama favors me as much as it has favored Suzumiya-san."

Oh... that's clever. But grab a length of chain. It'd help give it an air of legitimancy.

"Farewell, Kyon." said Rika. "I hope that you can get back to your own time."

"And I hope that you end up getting out of this in the future."

Rika bowed, and then beamed at me.

"Nipaa~"

Me and Haruhi opened the cell with the secret passage, and started making our way through it.

"So, Kyon, what did she mean by 'our own time'?" said Haruhi.

Eh. Do we really have anything to lose?

"Well, I have no idea how we got here, but we're in the Hinamizawa of 1983."

"1983? How come you didn't tell me?"

"Well, to be honest, we were hoping that you wouldn't notice and get us out of here subconsciously."

"Kyon, as powerful as I am, I don't think I can do that."

Eventually, we found the exit and reached the surface. Wow, it is almost pitch black out here. For reference, the sun was still up (but barely starting to set) when we went inside. How long were we knocked out for? The storm still hasn't hit yet...

"You go first." I whispered. "Make sure that this isn't an ambush."

That might sound like I'm being a coward, but you saw what she did to Mion. Some armed goons would be a cakewalk.

"It's a secret exit. Of course it wouldn't be an ambush."

"Just do it."

"Fine."

My pragmatism was rewarded. Haruhi stopped. From behind her, I could see a shadowy figure in the darkness in front of us.

"Who are you?" said Haruhi. "Show yourself!"

The figure laughed. Oh god, I know that laugh.

No... that doesn't make any sense.

* * *

"Takano Miyo. I thought you were dead."

Thank you for summing up the situation and my thoughts, Haruhi-san.

Takano Miyo is standing in front of us (well, in front of Haruhi), wearing a black coat and a beret. Any doubts that I had that she was evil are now long since past.

And she really should be dead.

Although if it turns out that she _did_ come back from incineration, I wouldn't be surprised. Hinamizawa and reality aren't on speaking terms.

"Well, it appears that that part of the plan has succeeded, then." said Takano.

Okay, let's hope that Haruhi's presence is enough so that Takano doesn't notice me while I hide over in these bushes. I can't really see either of their faces, but at least I can hear them and see them gesture.

Takano looked up and down at Haruhi.

"Well, aren't you a real lady in red? What's the special occasion?"

"None of your business, Takano-san."

"Ah. You do know that you're bleeding, right?"

She pointed at her left temple.

"I know. That reminds me," said Haruhi, "now that you're alive, I need to thank you."

"Oh? For what?"

"For introducing me to the concept that I ended up embracing; the Hammer of Oyashiro-sama."

Takano burst into laughter.

"Really? Did you honestly believe that?"

Haruhi nodded.

"Wow. Really? I can't believe that you're that gullible! You honestly bought 'Hammer of Oyashiro-sama'?"

"Are you suggesting that the Hammer of Oyashiro-sama isn't real?"

"Of course not! I made it all up."

Wait... so you managed to get Haruhi to turn into a psychotic avatar of a god and kill at least two people using nothing but bull? Takano Miyo, you earn my grudging respect.

Haruhi burst into maniacal laughter.

"So? You're wrong. Or in this case, right. The Hammer of Oyashiro-sama is very real. And the Hammer is me."

"That would explain the ridiculous outfit. It's quite amazing what a mentally disturbed mind causes." said Takano.

"Mentally disturbed? I'm not nuts!"

If I wasn't trying to be stealthy at the moment, I would have burst into laughter.

"I am the Hammer of Oyashiro-sama! I-I've killed people with my mind alone!"

Takano tilted her head.

"Ahh. My theories are confirmed. You are very sick, Suzumiya-san. Have you been hearing footsteps?"

"What's your point?"

"I'm just observing your symptoms. Now, have you heard footsteps out of sync with your own? Felt the presence of Oyashiro-sama watching over you as you slept? Perhaps you've been hallucinating that you were... bleeding maggots?"

Haruhi recoiled slightly. Takano chuckled.

"Hallucinations? _Hallucinations?_ This is _not_ a hallucination! He... Kyon said so himself!"

"Ah, but you cannot trust everything that someone says. What if you just imagined him saying that?"

"That's not possible..."

"It is. It's quite unfortunate that the final symptom of the disease you have is you tearing out your own throat. You are such an endearing individual, Suzumiya-san."

Hold on a second. Tearing out your own throat? Where have I heard that before...

Haruhi tensed up for a second, and then ripped off the bandages around her neck. The blood started pouring out like a waterfall again.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that, then! Mion already did it for me! And look where I am now!"

Takano looked completely unfazed, even as a bit of the blood and the maggots dripped on her.

"Your neck looks fine to me."

"It does?"

"Yes, not a mark on it."

Okay, even if everything after a certain point didn't happen, she still scratched at her neck. It can't be markless. I know that's a lie.

"That's not possible! I... I killed people with my powers. I know that."

"Oh? And once you've killed them, have you seen the bodies?"

"I... Shut up! You're trying to make me think that I'm imagining all this, because you want me either broken or in an asylum! I have a theory or two about you, Takano-temee. I forgot about them after I ascended-"

That's not even remotely what I'd describe it as.

"-but your reappearance has jogged my memory.

"Oh? Do tell."

Takano was sounding like she was a fashion designer amused at a little kid playing dress-up. Has she even dropped that condescending tone at all in this conversation?

"Well..." said Haruhi, "you're part of some secret, nefarious conspiracy. Might be the ringleader, might not, I'm not sure. Something to do with Tokyo, although I'm not sure what."

"I see." said Takano. "Where did you find that information.?"

"I raided your office on the day my powers manifested. I looked through your notes and your papers."

That explains her absence when the detective showed up and Keiichi attacked. Although really? You've been breaking into places just to find information? That's... that's actually perfectly in character with the Suzumiya Haruhi I know. Although I know she wouldn't have done it alone.

"Continue." said Takano.

"Now, you personally want to become a god." said Haruhi, "I got that from a diary or something in there. And you want to do that by killing Rika, because doing that would wipe out the whole town."

Wait, if you knew that, then why did _you_ try to kill her?

"Not that that would happen, of course."

Okay, Haruhi, you're just pulling things out of your ass. Even if you did raid the clinic, there's no way that this sort of thing would happen.

"And you killed Tomitake, too! On the night of the festival. And your goons have been watching me day and night!"

"Really. And if I do have goons, then what do they look like?"

"They-they're those garbage-men or janitors or whatever. And they're called the Yamainu."

Okay, now would be the time for Takano to burst into laughter. I know I would.

But she didn't.

"Wait..." said Haruhi, and I could tell that the emotion was draining from her face, "I'm right, aren't I."

So you acknowledge that all of that was complete crap, then?

Takano chuckled. Her face was illuminated by a distant lightning strike, and there was a very malicious smirk on it. I saw her reaching for something.

"Correct."

And that was it.

No last words. No final battle or blaze of glory. No more madness or hijinks. No more melancholy or sighs or boredom or disappearances or rampages or anything like that.

Just a little bang. One tiny hole in her forehead.

Suzumiya Haruhi was dead.

* * *

Holy shit.

I watched as her body slumped down onto the ground with not a scrap of dignity or life left in it. Takano chuckled and holstered her pistol. Wait, no burst of truly maniacal laughter? That's... unusual. Not what I'd expect from the woman who shot Haruhi.

"Well, that was easier than I thought."

Takano turned and looked - directly at me. I can now understand perfectly the reasoning and logic of the giant red exclamation point, because that's the perfect representation of how I felt. Takano's bloodstained face was wearing a nice, large smirk.

"Ah, Kyon-kun. Nice to see you again."

Okay, this is twenty times worse than being chained up and about to be tortured in regards to fear.

Takano drew her gun again, this time agonizingly slowly.

"Now, I don't want to have to shoot someone who's on the ground cowering. Stand up, unless you want to get shot."

I don't get your logic. Nevertheless, I stood up slowly.

"Thank you. It was nice to meet you, Kyon-kun."

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. Nagato? Anyone? Can someone save me? Now would be a perfect time for a deus ex machina. In that case, Oyashiro-sama, if you can hear me, HELP!

And then, the storm broke.

A lightning bolt arced directly above me and Takano. The burst of thunder caused me to stumble back slightly (not to mention pushing me further on the road to deafness). The rain started pouring down like the bolt tore the sky open. The bolt hit a tree near us, causing a large branch to fall. I barely managed to dodge it falling, but it pretty much pinned Takano.

Thank you.

And exit me, stage right.

As I made a hasty retreat, I could hear Takano... is she laughing?

"Ahahahahhaha! Is that all? I killed off your 'Hammer', and that's the most you can give in return? It's going to take a lot more than that to stop me!"

Okay, she's nuts. Moving on.

The rain was coming down harder than any rain that I had ever seen. Okay, ignore tripping if you can, and keep running.

So, now what? Haruhi's dead. That changes everything. Okay, first off, what's my short-term goal? Survival. Well, that was easy. But after that? Get to camp and tell everyone that Haruhi's dead. If I end up chased, Nagato can defend me, and if shinjin somehow start breaking in, Koizumi can handle them. Only problem is, I have absolutely no idea where I am.

Wait a second. We're doomed. If the world isn't ending around me (with this much rain coming right after Haruhi dies, I wouldn't be surprised), and I survive the night (less likely), then what? What would we do, live in a town with half of the child population dead, until we grow old and die? Can other people leave Hinamizawa? Can _I_ leave Hinamizawa? Not that I could go anywhere else...

"There's someone! I think it's him! Get him!"

Oh, that's just peachy. There's those guys in the janitor garb. What were they called? Yaseiinu or something? Either way, they're armed. And judging by the holes rapidly forming in the trees behind me, I should get as far away from them as possible.

You know, I would probably have had nightmares about being chased by armed men in a dark, unfamiliar forest if I didn't have so much other nightmare fuel in my life. And I'm not even counting the Hinamizawa events.

I made a hard right turn, ducked onto a pathway, and started running downhill. More bullets flew past me.

Out of nowhere (you have got to be freaking kidding me...), my path was suddenly blocked by more of the Yamainu. I think I tried to stop. I have no idea, because the muddy path lacked friction, and I skidded right into one of them. I had guns pointed at me before I could get up again, and more of them corralled me into a circle.

"You're surrounded, kid. Any last words?"

I tried to think of some witty snark (probably involving his parentage and elderberries), but before I could say anything, a nearby tree exploded. Another lightning strike?

No.

Something even better.

Every single Yamainu I could see was destroyed by a flechette storm of splinters directly into their eyes and their throats, but I was unharmed. If I wasn't in a clearing, I was now.

"Nagato!"

I saw Nagato leap into the air and land near me. That's when I felt that something was... well, that something was wrong.

For one, it was the first time since the day after the festival that Nagato was wearing her school uniform. It was covered in splotches that ranged from deep reds to rusty browns, and all of it was blood. Well, that would explain why she wasn't wearing the outfit for the past few days, but it raises a lot of question.

It wasn't just the bloodstained uniform that was off. She looked at me, and her eyes seemed... almost blank. I could see the rain and the blood and myself reflected in them. It was if... well, for the first time ever, I looked at Nagato and didn't see a person, but an alien.

It was at that exact moment that something that she said echoed in my mind; _Erratic behavior is present in... in all individuals here._

"Nagato, I have really important news." I said. "Haruhi is-"

She looked right at me and stared deep into me. I take it that's Nagato's way of shushing me.

"I have constructed a plan that will permit us to escape Hinamizawa and return to the original plane of reality."

"Well, that's great, but-"

"If we could provoke a large enough reaction from Suzumiya-san, she would unform Hinamizawa, reform our native dimension, and discard all of the events that have happened over the past ten days."

"Fine, but there's-"

"Unfortunately, I would have to cause a reaction, and only a suitably large reaction, such as your death, would suffice. I apologize in advance."

Look, listen to me for a sec-wait, my _what_?

I could only shift slightly, but that was enough to keep the knife from hitting my arm. Actually, that thing's the borderline between a machete and a freaking sword. Nagato's knife embedded itself in a tree directly behind me with enough force to make it reverberate. If my arm was a little bit lower, I'd have to get prosthetics.

"Nagato? What-what are-"

"Your death is the only action that would cause a suitable response in Suzumiya-san. Do not worry, you would be recreated."

She yanked the knife out of the tree, and then she... moved. I think. All that I saw was her posture moving slightly, a streak of pain across my left arm, and her machete gaining a nice fresh coat of blood.

"No, that wouldn't work. Haruhi is dead!"

That caused her to pause.

"...that is a lie."

Okay, screw this, I'm out of here.

"No."

Before I could even get out of the clearing, I felt something really big slam into my legs. It felt like I was ran into by an invisible truck. I fell, and Nagato was above me.

"Nagato, what are you doing? You can't be seriously wanting to kill me!"

"I am."

And at that moment, Nagato did something that was as horrifying as watching Rena get beaten to death.

She smirked.

It wasn't even a malicious smirk or anything like that. It was a small one, like if she was amused by a bad joke. And it was infinitely more horrifying.

"This is a necessary step, that I would prefer not to do. But it has to be done."

For once, her expression told me that that was a lie. I never thought that I would ever use anything of the sort when describing Nagato. But I just did.

"Nagato, please! Couldn't you kill someone else? I'm sure that'd killing Koizumi would produce a decent reaction."

"Something along those lines was attempted, but the project was aborted due to behavioral changes in Suzumiya-san."

Yes, loss of life is certainly a behavioral change.

"Any information that suggests that Suzumiya Haruhi is dead is not accurate."

Do I have to drag you off to the body to show you?

"Status reports show that she's alive."

She ISN'T! If you didn't turn any sticks in a ten-meter radius into sawdust, I would grab one and beat some sense into you. (And then get my ass kicked.)

Wait a second, what is this project, and what does it have to do with killing Koizumi?

"In case of catastrophic events," said Nagato, "an individual with a low chance of survival and a large bond with Suzumiya-san was terminated. This could be revealed later to cause large reactions in both you and Suzumiya-san. Unfortunately, the unstored ninety-three percent was discovered by local law enforcement, and Kumagai Katsuya, Akasaka Mamoru, Keisatsu Satsuo, and Ooishi Kuraudo were forced to be terminated."

It was about then that things started to click into place inside my head. It was pointing towards a conclusion that was almost too awful to think about. Nagato wouldn't do that. She's not at Haruhi-levels of insanity, which would be needed. Is she?

"When was this?" I asked.

"It was the night of June 27th."

"Wait, that was the same time that Asahina-san disappeared, right? Or did she?"

"No. Decapitated and disemboweled."

You said yourself that she vanished into the timestream. And there's only one real way for you to know exactly how she died.

"And the other seven percent. What happened to it?" I asked.

I have absolutely no idea where she got it from. All I know is that I blinked, and she was holding a severed head. But the beautiful auburn hair gripped in Nagato's fingers was unmistakable.

"You... that's..." I said.

"Yes. I killed Asahina Mikuru. I claim full responsibility."

No... you're not that insane enough... this is a trick, isn't it?

"No. And, to translate my brain activity into colloquial terminology, killing her was immensely enjoyable."

You... you... you _**whore!**_

I lunged at Nagato-temee and tried to claw at her throat. It felt like trying to rip apart a tree trunk, and it was about as effective.

You monster! What the hell happened to you? Nagato would never do anything like that!

"I did."

Several wood splinters suddenly embedded themselves in my fingers, forcing me to abort the "murder that purity-murdering bitch" plan. That actually hurt a bit. I was then forced to my knees, and Nagato was above me, ready to slice my head open like a samurai. Wait, that's a double-handed grip. Where'd Asahina-san's head go? Okay, continuity errors aren't for reality.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the demon-girl to embed the knife in my head, and...

...

...it didn't. Um, where's the blade in my skull?

I opened my eyes. It seemed like someone switched Nagato out with a wax model when I wasn't looking.

"Stimuli from internal caches of datan are interfering with operating procedure."

Um, that's called guilt, maybe? Love? Common sense?

Seeing as she isn't killing me at this moment, I took the opportunity to stand up, pull these splinters out of my hands (and because they were slightly paralyzed until the splinters came out, I had to use my teeth to start), bandaging the cut on my left arm with my shirt, and starting to get out of there, all in about a minute or so.

"Excess caches of stored data deleted."

Oh, crap.

She leapt right over me and cut me off.

"Freezing non-essential musculature."

She waved her hand, and then all of muscles felt heavy. I couldn't move at all, except for my eyes.

Really? _Really?_ Did you delete your originality, too?

She raised the blade above her head, rushed at me, I closed my eyes, and...

"Stop."

And once again, there wasn't a knife in my head. I opened my eyes to see what was keeping her.

The tip of the knife was scant centimeters from piercing my shirt, and the only thing stopping it from going any further was that Furude Rika was gripping onto the knife.

The parallels are not lost on me.

Except that I don't quite remember Nagato straining that much. And I think she only used one hand. And I don't know if Nagato was bleeding so profusely... But it's balanced by the fact that it's an ordinary (compared to Nagato) little girl. She wins the award for "most badass lolita" from me.

"Do _not_ kill him, sir." said Rika.

Okay, don't say 'sir' when you're not trying to obfuscate yourself.

Nagato's head tilted ever so slightly.

"Why are you defending this individual?"

"Because... look, I've seen people die. I've seen people die a lot. _I've_ died a lot. But Kyon... he's special. Don't you know that? The entire SOS Brigade is special. I haven't seen you once before. You probably won't come back again. You're a once-in-a-lifetime experience! For all I know, you'll only die once. Me? Hell, I probably have another hundred years of death after death ahead of me. I can't spare myself. I can't spare my friends. I can't spare everyone, but I can spare him."

I'm sure that I really should be touched and thankful, but she's acting like she's in love with me, and it's creepy.

I tried to step back. Nagato pushed the blade forward, and Rika went with it.

"His death is an unfortunate necessity." said Nagato, "It is the only way that the world can be restored."

You're still assuming that Haruhi isn't dead.

"No! It's not!" said Rika. "There's at least one other way! It might just restart the cycle, but it's better than nothing!"

Nagato tightened her grip around the blade. Something that Rika said obviously struck a chord.

"I absolutely refuse to be trapped in another temporal recursion. That is not and never will be an option if I have any influence on the matter."

Nagato chanted something in her magic speech (wait, doesn't that... okay, no more questions, there's no use learning the answers), and the knife started to glow blue. Rika stumbled forward.

When Rika fell, it was almost like there wasn't a blade. But there was a spot where the blade happened to cross her forehead, and the blood started spewing from there in jets. Why Rika had stopped holding onto the blade was obvious; every one of her delicate, pale, tiny, little girl fingers was cut off slightly above the base, and they're now resting in the bloody mud below. Well, at least she still has her thumbs...

Nagato shook the blood off her blade, and used her free hand to clutch Rika's head. Rika replied by grasping Nagato's arm with her stubs.

"Would you rather be destroyed, Yuki... or live one more time?" said Rika.

"..."

"I... I know of a way... how to restart everything."

"There is nothing else. The possibility of restarting everything-"

"-is there! Just listen to me. Take me up to the Furude Shrine. I know what would need to be done."

"..."

"If we don't try it... we'll never know if it would have worked or not."

"..."

After a few seconds of possible hesitation, Nagato grabbed onto Rika's wrist and walked off.

Leaving me still unable to move.

Hey, Nagato! Come back! You need to undo this! Nagato!

Oh, damnit, I can't move my mouth either. She can't hear what I'm saying. Actually, I can move my eyes, my lungs, and anything autonomous, I assume. That's it. The rain is pouring down in amounts that would make Hawaii envious, and there's still armed goons looking for me that would love to shoot me in the head.

Goddamnit.

Fortunately, after a few minutes, I could feel a feather-light touch caress my arm. The touch was both cool like a cold glass of milk and warm like a summer breeze. (Don't ask how it felt both warm and cool, especially in the pouring rain. It just did.) If I had to pick one word to describe it, it would be "maternal".

As the sensation spread throughout my body, I could feel my muscles loosen and my paralysis fade.

I looked to see which soul I could thank for freeing me.

And "soul" was the best word I could use to describe what was in front of me.

To be specific, it was the soul or ghost (kami?) of a young girl, barely an echo on the mortal plane, but having a presence the size of Hinamizawa. She had lavender hair, and was garbed in hakama. She also had horns, which was both odd (because oddity is an inherent trait of a girl with horns) and somewhat sad (because one of her horns was broken, and I had a good idea of what had happened to it). There were scars covering her face and a few on her arms, but the massive unhealed gash gave me a good guess to who she was. Her face was mournful.

_"I'm sorry..."_

And Hanyuu was gone.

Well, let's see what's going on with Nagato and Rika. Just follow the blood trail...

Once I got to the shrine, l I found Rika lying down prominently at the top of the shrine's steps, and Nagato standing over her.

"Will this work?" said Nagato.

"I'm... well, it can't hurt to hope, can it?"

Rika over at me. She looked pale, weak, wet, and utterly helpless. She could barely keep her eyes open.

"Thank... thank you, sir."

"Why are you thanking me?" I said. "You were the one that saved my life."

"I was just... returning the favor..."

She smiled weakly.

"It's good to have met you, Kyon. I'm glad that I met someone so... so interesting."

If I was by Haruhi's side as she laid dying, that's probably what she would have said.

"Ni... nipaa~..."

She looked up at Nagato, closed her eyes, and nodded.

Nagato returned the nod, and with a quick spin of her blade, Rika's entrails were visible for all to see. She twitched once, then... opened her eyes, raised her head, looked at her guts, and fell back down again. She didn't get back up.

So much blood, right on the steps of the shrine... isn't doing something like this the way to get booted out of heaven? I'm not religious in the slightest, but this is still so blasphemous it's horrible.

After a long period of silence, Nagato wiped off her machete and turned to me.

"We have business unfinished."

She stepped towards me.

"Nagato, shouldn't you see what will happen with this?" I said.

"I have given it enough. No response detected."

"Nagato, stop! This isn't necessary!"

"I am sorry."

She drew the machete back.

You know what? Fine. You're a lost cause and a monster, Nagato. You let this girl, who I should nominate for sainthood, die for the sake of our salvation, and you don't give a damn? Go ahead. Let me fall. Nothing's holding you back.

And Nagato stopped.

"I... I'm sorry."

And the blankness of her eyes was gone like a shattering aquarium. She dropped the knife, almost fell to her knees, and started hyperventilating.

"N-Nagato?"

She looked up at me. The look of tears and regret and pain on her face tripped every mental flag in my head and flew into the horrifying category.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

And she dug her fingers into her throat.

"Nagato!"

Nagato was ripping away at her throat tissue. She quickly hit a blood vessel and it didn't stop spurting.

"Nagato, stop! Stop! I'm begging you, stop!"

She didn't listen. She just kept digging her nails into her throat. It was like watching a chainsaw in action. There was a loud crunching sound. I'm assuming that's her spine being mulched.

Nagato, stop! How can you even rip your head off when you have a shredded spinal cord? If you keep scratching, you'll rip your head off!

But she didn't stop. She just kept scratching and spurting waterfalls of blood. This makes at least four people's blood that I've been coated in over the course of tonight alone, and that's not counting my own blood.

Thankfully, eventually, Nagato's slicing fingers slowly, slowly, slowed down and eventually stopped. Most of her neck was pulp. Her head was literally hanging on by a thread.

Okay, that was a bit of a bad joke, but I need those. I need a coping mechanism. Wait, screw a coping mechanism, I need therapy.

Nagato (I'm not sure if she's dead or not) buckled. The sudden force caused her head to snap over her fingernails, breaking the strand of flesh and separating head from body. Only then did life exit Nagato's body.

I caught Nagato's head before it could roll down the steps. For some reason, I decided to get my inner Hamlet on and look right into the head's eyes.

And there was life. Not much, but it was there.

"I'm sorry for what I did..." mouthed Nagato. If there was any voice, it was whisper quiet.

"I know." I said.

"Kyon..."

I was caught off-guard by her stating my name. Well, my nickname. Either way, that's never happened before.

She smiled weakly.

"I... I have had to only observe for the past three years. It was... boring. Uneventful. But then... someone came into my life and gave it pleasure. Gave it excitement. Made it worthwhile."

Her eyes fluttered, like the light of her soul was flickering out.

"That would be... you."

Her eyes shut, and then... stillness.

Nagato was dead. Haruhi was dead. Rika was dead, as well. The SOS Brigade is gone. Koizumi's probably been shot by now.

At that moment, in all of my life, I have never felt so utterly alone.

* * *

"Awww... isn't that sweet?"

The voice came from behind me (...that's inside the shrine. She was inside the freaking shrine. WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE KEEP COMING FROM?). And there was that evil, way too familiar laugh.

"You." I said, through gritted teeth.

"Me." said Takano.

I set down Nagato's head and... no, wait. That sounds wrong. I'm going to try that sentence again.

I set down Yuki's head gently by her body, with the respect that Nagato Yuki deserves, and then I stood up to face the villain.

I heard so many guns clicking in the zone at the shrine entrance, it sounded like a freaking cicada. Even with the darkness of the storm shrouding the shrine, I could see five of the Yamainu, and I know there's more.

"So, you're little guardian angel has killed herself. So sad..." said Takano. "That only leaves you out of your little party."

"What about Koizumi?" I said.

And I am walking though the valley of the shadow of death, and I have no fear, because there's more than twenty guns pointing at me right now in the darkness and my amygdala has overloaded and gone into a fetal position.

"We've already taken care of your friend, don't worry."

I'm getting the strange, very peculiar sense that you're lying to me. I wonder why.

"Look, just leave me alone." I said. "You wanted to kill Rika, right? Well, she's dead, and I have absolutely nothing left."

Takano walked over to Rika's body.

"It... it's ruined..."

"Hm?"

"The body is defiled. It's completely unfit. You ruined it!"

Ruined it? You don't even know anything about what she did.

Takano pulled out her pistol again.

"No worries, though. It should still be safe for research. The organs aren't too torn."

I... are you planning on dissecting a little girl?

"Perhaps. You won't have to worry about that, now, will you, Kyon-kun? Poor boy, with all of this blood on his hands."

I'm covered in so much blood, my skin's a universal donor at this point. Of course it's on my hands. And yet, I haven't killed a single person, making me an oddity of Hinamizawa.

"Don't call me that." I said.

And then, I had an idea that could possibly get me out of this mess. Or, I'd get shot, but I figured that I'd get shot if I _didn't_ do anything, so the risk was worth it.

I grabbed the blade that Nagato dropped. It somehow managed to slice through the stone floor of the shrine steps and buried itself to the hilt in the floor. I pulled it out and swung it into an offensive position. It made a really cool sound - something like a mix between a bullwhip and ripping velvet.

"Ah, Kyon-kun, you are so naive. Do you not see my men out there?"

"Yes." I said. "Yes, I do. Can I ask you a question before I get turned into an alloy?"

"I suppose."

"You wanted to kill a god, right?"

"Yes, and you beat me to the punch."

"No. No, you shot your god, alright. You shot her long before Furude Rika was dead."

"I'm not sure what you... oh."

She chuckled again.

"I knew that you and Suzumiya had a spark of love between you. Now, that's enough questions for you."

"Well, you see, Takano, when she died... the power went to someone else. Conservation of energy, if you would. Who do you think got the power?"

I smirked. Takano smirked as well.

And then, another burst of probably divine luck hit. I would never be able to explain what exactly helped me survive, but before I could boast of godly power that I know that I lack, out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of the Yamainu look startled and point his gun and his gaze upward.

"Holy..."

And the rest of the Yamainu that I could see pointed their guns upward as well.

Well, I'm not one to disregard an opportunity when I see one. Exit me, stage... screw the stage, I'm jumping into the audience and exiting through the back of the theater.

I leapt down the steps, slashed into the nearest Yamainu (or it might have been air - with such a clean blade, you can't tell), dropped the knife, and started running for my dear life. I heard gunshots, but only a few of them seemed to be at me. I also heard a lot of goons screaming. I would look back to see what was hitting them, but odds are, I'd trip.

After I got out of the shrine complex, and onto one of the many paths leading out of there, I realized something; I'm screwed. Assuming that she had the Yamainu shoot Koizumi (it's a fifty-fifty chance that she actually did), then the SOS Brigade is dead. And who else is left from Hinamizawa, anyway? Satoko? If she hasn't been shot herself, she'd break if she found out that Rika was dead. It doesn't even feel like I'm completely there anymore. Everything's sort of melded together into an unidentifiable forest road.

Maybe... maybe just facing the bullets isn't too bad of an idea. Let Rika sort it out post-mortem.

I heard footsteps behind me. Nothing human could run that fast. What, do the Yamainu have freaking super soldiers?

I turned to try to catch a glimpse of my pursuer. All I could see was a blue blur, and I felt cold steel streak across my back.

Holy shit, that _hurt_. That blade sliced directly through any pain resistance that I had either been given or built up and just... damn, that hurt like hell. That is pure, unadulterated pain pumped directly into the nervous system. Only once have I felt pain that much. Is that a cursed blade or something? Am I going to get violently ill, now?

I stumbled, landed on my back, and slid to a stop, forcing mud into the wound and making it even worse. I tried to get back up again, and... I couldn't move a single muscle. It felt like someone hit "pause" on the story of my life. I couldn't even blink as the rain dripped onto my eyes.

And then, I heard a girlish giggle. I knew that giggle.

I now officially know that Hinamizawa is fucking with me. It's run out of original horror and it's delving into my psyche to fuck with me even more.

That's not possible. It simply isn't. You're a destroyed figment from a reality that already doesn't exist anymore. You're gone. Your boss is gone. Your reality is gone. You cannot exist.

But as much as I tried to deny it, there she was.

Asakura Ryoko, wearing a bloodstained (but otherwise completely dry) North High uniform and holding her knife between her fingertips. There she was, leaning over into my field of vision and letting the blood drip into my eyes.

_"Kyon... I found you..."_


End file.
